Category Archives: General

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Ancient Lesson #3

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I decided I should call these lessons LOL lessons – Little Old Lady Lessons – LOLLs

Anyway- this week’s lesson is called the Package and Mail system

When things are bothering you and weighing you down, they are most likely thoughts and memories about the past or your own internal predictions of what’s going to happen in the future. For some reason we all think we are fortune tellers.

You have heard me repeat ad nauseum that worrying or focusing on the past or the future is simply a waste of valuable resources that you could use trying to accomplish the things you would like here in the present moment. “But how do I do that?” you ask. “I’ve spent my whole life worrying about all these things. You just want me to up and stop? That’s not fair.”

I’ve developed a technique that works for me and maybe will help you change this behavior. I was a pro at both worrying about the past and fortune telling. This is the ultimate in multi-tasking. I could do both of those things at the same time and I was definitely a champion at them both. They did me absolutely no good and plenty of bad.

When I find myself focusing on one of those things or on anything that is not within my control, here’s my process:

– I visualize finding the right size container for it – it might be an envelope if it’s only one thing or is small but with me it used to have to be a big old box. I’d get the box and the packing bubble snap stuff and oh, yeah, some packing tape.

– I see myself picking up the things I’m worried about – let’s say some lab tests, a dental appointment that’s coming up in two weeks, and whether or not I’ll be able to start my trek again NEXT YEAR. We can start with those things.
— So i gather them all together on the table and place them in the box, putting that bubble stuff between worries so they are nice and safe.
— Then I hold the edges down and lean over the package to make sure it’s held tightly as I apply the packing tape to keep things from falling out.

– I go find a mailing label and watch myself label it to the universe. If you are away you can address it to your home thinking you can better handle it when you get home. Since they are just worries, there really is nothing to handle better but if you really don’t want to get rid of them for good, you can use that. I send everything to the Universe so it can deal with them and most likely dissolve them since they are just taking up space anyway. The point it, I’m sending them out of my mind (conscious and hopefully out of your subconscious too) right now.

– Once the package is addressed, I observe the nearest mailbox – and for our purposes, all mailboxes will handle any size package. It gets too complicated if you think you have to go to the post office to get rid of some of these. I don’t know about you but I’m good at procrastinating on that and I would never get the package there. So, we’ll use our imagination and allow the mailbox that’s right across the street to accommodate anything we want to send.

– Out my front door I go, trotting over to stand in front of the mailbox.

– I open the lid and place my package there. Then I gently push it down into the box.

– I close the lid and say “goodbye”. The package (my worries) are no longer anyplace i can control or even see. I am done with them. The Universe will receive them and I no longer can clutter up my mind with these thoughts and worries.

– I move away and go about my business. If my mind starts to revert back to those thoughts, I remind myself “oops, you don’t have them anymore. So you can’t do anything about them. They are in the mail. Move on to something else Terrie.”

And if that doesn’t work, you can do a new letter or package.

Hope this helps you envision how pointless it is to worry about things that either have already happened or might never happen.

Enjoy a wonderful week full of LOVE and Happy Valentine’s Day tomorrow.

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Military Moves

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That got your attention I bet. But this post is not about what it seems. It’s not about war or the Ukraine or politics or anything. It’s actually about me and my retirement. Even though this is a selfish post, maybe it will help others.

When I wrote military moves I was referring to what we call PCS orders or Permanent Change of Station orders (as opposed to Temporary change when we go somewhere for a short while). I think this is more military brainwashing (just kidding) because until you’re out of the military NOTHING is permanent.

Anyway, you get used to moving around a lot. That was actually one of the things that made me not want to stay in the Navy. But 30 years later there I was. I don’t like change and I absolutely never liked being transferred and having to move. But I did and I survived. As with all else in my life, it has been for the good and helped me in more ways than i know.

Yesterday I was waiting at a hospital with a friend and all day I was having pretty bad chest pressure. I’ve been having similar things all month too but since I had a workup a year ago I wasn’t really worried it was my heart. I just couldn’t figure it out.

This morning I realized that Feb is “my month of reflection”- So many significant things have happened to me in the month of Feb – many “bad” (but not in the long run) but also some good. What I did see about being at the hospital yesterday was that I treated my retirement as just another set of PCS orders – and my workplace did too. All this was thanks to Covid. I never had anyone say “goodbye and thanks” in person. A few emails yes but nothing formal. After 47 years that is tough. Of course I understand all of it intellectually but my heart didn’t understand it at all. And to make matters worse, I never allowed myself the chance to be sad or to mourn the loss of my medical career. No matter how happy I am doing what I am doing now, it’s not the purpose I set out to fulfill at the age of 4. That part of my life is over and gone. I miss it. I never really admitted that to myself. I think it hurt too much. When you get orders, you just move on.

No matter how well adjusted you are and how happy you are, it’s ok to miss things and it’s more than ok – in fact, it’s necessary to take the time to feel (that’s a word I’m just getting used to) the loss and feel sad. I think before I started looking at emotions I equated feeling sad with being bad. You were just supposed to move on.

Obviously I’m still learning my body’s communication system. This is the way I’ve recently thought about it. All my life I was getting phone calls but I never answered – the phone was off the hook. Emotions were not something that I allowed into my existence/my world. They were a sign of weakness (the gospel according to mom and dad) so you just don’t have them.

In 2016 my body sent a letter – a personal letter (Shingles). I opened it but then threw it away. So my body then followed up with a telegram (the post Shingles nerve pain). That I had to sign for and accept. Man was that horrible. But all it did at that time was continually generate two questions “why is this happening?” and “how long will I have to suffer?” I never read the small print that gave the instructions.

In 2017 my body was really exasperated with my failure to get the message so it sent me a text message with the most obnoxious ring tone you can imagine. And it wouldn’t shut up. This resulted in 5 weeks in the hospital over a 3 month period. Guess what? I finally got the message. I wasn’t able to read it all because a lot of it was “off the screen” but i started looking at what my body was telling me. I did realize it was THE most stressful time of my entire life and that this was my body’s way of getting me away from it. That was almost 5 years ago and over these past 5 years I have allowed my emotions to have a place at the table bit by bit.

I made my last PCS move in 2020 when I retired but I am just now allowing myself to feel how much I miss all that I was involved in since I was 4 years old. That’s a long time – even longer than the 47 years of my career. Of course I’m going to be sad. And that’s ok. I can continue to move on to my new “duty station” while also grieving for that tremendous loss.

Do any of these thoughts ring a bell for you? Have you gotten repeated messages from your body begging you to please stop looking outside but to turn around and look inside? I imagine you have. I think we all have. What do you need to do to realize it’s ok to have these feelings and thoughts?

Sorry this has been all about me today but I had to get it out. Thanks for reading if you got this far.

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Miracle or Just an Invention?

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Here’s one definition of miracle: extraordinary and astonishing happening that is attributed to the presence and action of an ultimate or divine power.

What constitutes ‘divine power’?

I think we should pay attention to those things that are all around us – those we take for granted on a daily basis. It is my opinion that we have become too glib about what surrounds us. I believe there are many miracles in our lives but we just don’t see them anymore. We’re always looking elsewhere. Most of what makes our day go smoothly was probably once considered a miracle – the inventions – the airplane, electricity, the car, going to outer space, antibiotics, vaccines, etc..

The cynics would say those things are just inventions. I say they are miracles. It gives me pleasure and happiness to look around me and see all the miracles that have made my life as perfect as it is. And it is perfect in so very many ways. Do I give thanks for this? Not enough. Do I take everything for granted? Unfortunately, Yes. My heater wasn’t working when it was so cold here last week. When the guys fixed it, did I realize how fortunate I was that a thing called a “heater” was in existence now? You bet. I thought about it even more for the 4 days I froze my butt off. It made me remember that the house I lived in when I was young had a coal bin in the cellar. Those are probably words many of you don’t even understand. Cellars are now basements and coal bins were the walled off sections in that cellar where they stored the coal for heating. What a pain that was.

Look around you. Stop taking each day and each “gift” in your life for granted.

Start each day anew and see how many “miracles” you can identify. You can do it when you wake up, when you go for a walk, on your way to work or to the store or even lying in your bed. Treat each person you meet each day as a miracle in your life. Soon, the miracles will multiply and you’ll spot even more.

Let’s focus on the good people and things around us. Each of us has a daily miracle. We just need to open our eyes to find it