Daily Gratitude: “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”

I’ve written about this before but it’s so important that it bears repeating.

It’s funny. As I’ve been trying to vary my Vol State training route to combat the boredom I feel, I am traveling along the access road of a major loop here in San Antonio. It’s a loop that is constantly backed up for construction and seems to enrage or discourage so many drivers, myself included.

But now I’m able to walk on this access road because, lo and behold, they’ve added a sidewalk. This is the one thing of late that has brought me great joy. It’s only a tiny part of what the construction was all about, but it’s helped me see the value of construction despite the headaches. And next time I’m stuck in traffic with construction, I’ll be able to think of my walks and change my mood from unhappiness to understanding and compassion. I know you’re wondering how i can have compassion for construction but I do, especially the workers.

It’s all about how I’m thinking about the situation. If I stay upset, then it’s not making my day any better and it’s expending a lot more energy. If I think about the good results of what they’re doing then I’ll smile and my mood will be elevated and my energy level will rise as well.

Experiment with this. See if you can do it with little things and then move on to bigger ones.

Daily Gratitude: “We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking.”

Take a few minutes to contemplate this idea. I imagine it’s a bit foreign to many.

If you subscribe to the idea that nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so (William Shakespeare), then you can see how the same would apply to how you live.

Some people who are very affluent and live in mansions and have people doing everything for them are unhappy. And then you can look at the most poverty stricken countries and areas in our country and these people are usually very happy. They are also usually very communal people and take care of each other. You’ve heard that one of the best ways to get out of a depression is to go give to or take care of other people.

Wanting to care for others is a different way of thinking. It’s putting the needs and welfare of others before your own.

How do you think about your circumstances and situation? I know I’ve changed how I look at problems that arise. And since I’ve changed my way of thinking, the way I live is different. When I have problems now, I don’t “awful-ize” any more or not as much as I used to. I acknowledge my emotions and allow myself to feel them but I don’t make decisions based on them. I wait til the emotions pass (I give them a finite amount of time) and then I look at the situation objectively.

I’m not great at it yet but it’s become more of a habit and I’m seeing the benefits and rewards so that makes me want to continue.

I used to just try to suppress my emotions but I was never successful at it so just like a pressure cooker, all would explode. And then while experiencing the lava flow of emotions, I’d make dumbass decisions because I didn’t use objective data.

My way of life is now more ruled by my thinking and it’s 100% better!

Think about it.

Daily Gratitude: “The greatest achievement of the human spirit is to live up to one’s opportunities.”

I wish I could have believed that when I was younger. Sure, I heard it all the time but it seemed as if it only applied to other people, not me.

I had so many opportunities that I wasted. And they were wasted primarily because of fear. It’s truly amazing that I made it to this age being wrapped in fear my whole life. It was as if I was surrounded by plastic wrap with no room to breathe or grow.

This is why I think it’s so important that kids be exposed to IFS (Internal Family Systems) and continue their work with it throughout their life.

In the 6 years I’ve worked so much with it, I have become a totally different person- and still have a long way to go.

I have mentioned this before too. I was never happy until the last maybe 4 years. I guess I feigned happiness because I didn’t know what it really was until recently.

Never let fear keep you from trying something. If you can get past it and step out into a new opportunity, I bet you’ll be happy and proud. The confidence you’ll gain just from trying something new will shock you.

We are all here to continually grow and making the most of the opportunities presented is the best way to grow!