Daily Gratitude: “What are you paying attention to?”

What we think (and even what we feel) is so dependent on what we’re paying attention to. And that frequently is dependent on many other variables such as where you life and who you associate with.

But you can control most of those variables. Just take an election year, for example. How much less anxiety and feeling unsettled could you have if you didn’t watch TV or listen to the news? Especially if you already know who you’re supporting or going to vote for? What do you get out of watching
the news then?

That’s what you should be asking yourself when you find that you’re paying a lot of attention to something. “Why am I doing it and what value does it bring me? Do I really need to be doing this?”

This came to me today as I sat in my chair and wondered what the weather was (because I was starting to get a headache). I realized that I hadn’t checked the weather in a few weeks. That surprised me and then I discovered I hadn’t checked because I hadn’t needed to since I am not able to go out for very long walks I don’t really care what the forecast is. So something that was pretty routine for me was easily tossed by the wayside.

We have the ability to do that with other things in our life as well. We can and should decide where our attention will go. What do you want to get out of your day? What matters to you?

The things I am attentive to are now much different than they were two months ago before my injury. And that’s the way life goes.

Unfortunately we often hold on to and keep attending to things that no longer really matter in our lives.

When was the last time you took an inventory of all that “matters” to you and that you spend some time on, no matter how minimal that might be?

Is it time to declutter your attention getting items? Would that help make your life easier and maybe also serve to calm your nervous system?

Daily Gratitude: “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

Isn’t this beautiful. And most of all, it’s actually fairly easy to get these three things aligned.

The problem comes sometimes when you think one way but you’re too afraid to say something that correlates with your thinking. This can occur when you feel you have to be politically correct or you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.

Here’s an example:
A neighbor asks you for help moving a few boxes in his garage. You agree to help. You spend thirty minutes on a Saturday moving boxes and chatting with him.

Your action and speech are aligned. But inside you’re distracted and even agitated: ‘Why couldn’t he find someone else to help? I should be with my family right now.”

In this case, your thought is not in alignment with your action and speech. This misalignment creates dissonance in an otherwise normal situation and prevents you from showing up as your best self.

If you’re having to do this constantly then it will definitely interfere with your happiness. But if it’s an occasional occurrence, then it probably won’t interfere with your happiness that much.

It would be wise, though, to look at how you’re feeling and if you’re not very happy take a look at these three things and see what’s off. I guarantee at least one will be off.

We need to review our lives to see where we are and what we can change to grow and to improve our happiness quotient.

Otherwise you’ll just float through life and most likely won’t have much of a purpose and possibly not be unhappy. Awareness is essential for growth and change.

Daily Gratitude: “We do not learn from experience; we learn from reflecting on experience.”

This is similar to many others I’ve written but I think it’s one thing so many of us aren’t aware of.

We’re always telling people “that was a good learning experience for you.” But maybe that’s not what we should be saying. Perhaps it would me better to simply say “that was quite an experience you had. What did you learn when you looked at it (or reflected on it)?” In other words, we can help direct them and encoder them to do that reflection.

I bet you can find times in your life when you thought something was either “horrible” or “benign”. But if you took some time – either back then or now- you’d find out you actually learned so much.

It’s not uncommon for a “horrible” experience to turn into the best time of your life. And I don’t mean “best time” as in having fun or enjoying it. I mean that in the long run, your life turned out better than you could possibly have thought.

Take some time to reflect on this. And then help people who are going through tough times now.