Setbacks

Daily Gratitude: “Setbacks do more than facilitate progress. They reveal us to ourselves and to others. Without them, how would we ever discover what we are made of?”

We tend to think that the way to get to a destination is step by step always in a forward motion.

But if you look at mountain climbing you’ll see that sometimes you have to go down in order to find a better way to go up. Mountain climbing involves many ups and downs.

Setbacks are like that.

Our lives are more like mountain climbing than walking a straight road.

But there is no way to reach the mountain top if we are not willing to go farther from it from time to time.

Setbacks are common on the way to success. Ups and downs, successes and failures, happiness and sorrow in our lives are inevitable.

Yet, we ignore the way life works. We want every effort to bring us closer to the destination. We see every setback as a failure.

Challenges, setbacks, sorrow, and failures are built into our lives.

1. Setbacks are the way forward

When we face setbacks, we tend to think that we have “failed.” But in reality, we are moving forward.

A setback is not failure. Giving up the moment we face a setback is.

Why do we equate a setback with failure? It is because of our desire to always move forward. When something gets in our way, we feel defeated.

.When we align our expectations with the nature of the path, we stop wishing the mountain would behave differently and instead adjust ourselves to it.

2. Setbacks facilitate our progress

You cannot build muscle if it doesn’t face any resistance. You cannot become a good boxer if you only train with people who never punch back. If we don’t face setbacks, we will never know what we are capable of.

Without setbacks, how would we ever discover what we are made of?

We might even say that we are fortunate that setbacks come our way. A life without them would not be a success. It would but e emptiness—untested, unproven, unrealized.

3. Setbacks are external; moving forward is internal

In our world, things happen. It is hot; it is cold. We’re praised; we’re blamed; We get a raise; we get fired. Our toast is burnt.

These things happen to all of us. Not everything that happens in our life moves it forward.

Not everything that happens to us is personal. In fact, most of it is not.

But we take everything personally. It is our setback. It is our failure. We fail to realize that setbacks are external and impersonal. Our judgment clouds how we see them.

Setbacks are not failures until we decide they are.

Progress is not measured by external events, but by our internal response to them.

4. Even true failures can advance us

There are times when our setbacks are not part of the natural path forward. We make mistakes. We take wrong turns.

Even here, there is no reason to berate ourselves or give up. What appears to be a loss may be a lesson we need to learn.

There are no true failures when we continue to focus on the next step

We need to treat setbacks as part of the route, learn from them, and keep our focus on what we can do next.

Daily Gratitude: “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”

I thought this was pretty apropos at this time. Our world is loud right now and it can feel as if you can’t be heard or even seen unless you become bigger than life and louder too.

But that’s not necessary. As this quote says, you can simply whisper a few words and show that you have the courage of a lion.

Courage is about facing your fears – in whatever way you can. It may be simply opening a “window” and peeking at the fear for the first time, even if you jam the window shut after that simple glimpse.

No one can define courage for you. You define your own. Why? Because no one has your experience and background. They have not traveled the roads and bumps you have. So how could they know what courage is for you!

Those that are loud may be trying to hide other things. So take everything and everyone else with a grain of salt. Remember that just as they don’t know anything much about you, likewise you know not much about them. They don’t matter. You matter.

For some people, just getting up in the morning is a massive act of courage. It’s something they may hide but they should be proud.

Have a courage journal or add a section to your current journal. Record things every day that show something courageous you’ve done. Don’t be shy. Write it all down. Then when you’re feeling scared or incompetent, you can review it and gain some inner strength.

Start your courage journal today

Daily Gratitude: “There is no better teacher than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.”

It’s interesting that if you look around you, you can find messages and lessons about whatever situation you’re going through.

Such is the case with me right now. To be fair though it’s always been like that for me. However I haven’t always had my eyes open enough to see what the universe has been shoving in my face.

My eyes are open now for sure. It turns out that I have one if not two compression fractures in my thoracic vertebra – my mid back.

I am grateful that I had the wisdom to drop from the race because who knows how much worse they might Have gotten. That doesn’t help me not feel like a wimp though.

Right now adversity is staring me in the face. But i have to listen to my own messages and see how I can make this seemingly big obstacle just like the speed bumps in my neighborhood.

First of all i need to define the problem and issues. And to make it. Less oppressive it’s wise to limit the scope. In the past I would already be having myself in a nursing home in constant pain for the rest of my life. But that does no good at all. The primary issue right now is to do whatever I’m told in order to heal. Fortunately my tens unit is doing its job right now.

Second is to put everything in its proper perspective and designate a compartment for each question or issue. It’s essential that I realize I cannot predict the future. I could spend so much time on that and all it would do is to mess up my nervous system.

Sure I’ve been wondering what this will do to my love for ultra walking and maybe walking in general. The way I’m dealing with this is to remind myself I am strong and people have overcome much worse problems Than this. Then I am doing my best to put any fear about it in a box. I can also use my love for and desire to walk as motivation as long as I’m willing to just wait and see without hanging too many hopes to that one thing.

Third is to figure out everything else I can do given my present condition.

For the last 8 days I haven’t done much. I’ve done the daily calls and the daily gratitudes I write and some reading. But mostly I’ve slept or just played games. In the past I would have criticized myself for this but i know i have needed this down time and it’s ok. That’s a big but essential change for me.

It’s key to take everything gradually and not rush anything.

When it’s time I will work on my writing and some gentle exercises once I’m cleared to do that.

Fourth is to spend a lot of time calming my nervous system with meditation and journaling as well as keeping myself from thinking about the future.

And fifth for me anyway is to pay attention to my parts. Why? Because they are frightened and predicting the worst. I need to reassure them and make them a part of the process. I was surprised yesterday when I was doing an IFS Meditaroin when I found 6 new parts that immediately came forth expressing concerns about our situation. I was surprised but happy because this gives me plenty to work with. That will help with all of the previous steps.

This has been about me but it’s methods I recommend for anyone facing adversity. I know this will make me a better person and it can work for you too.