Daily Gratitude

Daily Gratitude: Although this isn’t the “traditional” way that people define success, I actually think it’s the best way. Many people are “successful” in ventures that they don’t really enjoy. Others aren’t happy with what they have and always think they “should” do better. Many don’t even like what they do. The key to this and it’s something I still have to work on is to do your assessments (or judgments if you will although I am trying to stay away from that word) on and for yourself without that “thief of joy” – comparison. If you throw “compared to what others do or have done” into your definition of success, you’re doomed. All you see when you’re in the process of comparing is what’s on the outside of that other person – the externals as some of the Stoics call them. You can see great wealth, a big house, many cars, etc. but you can’t see what’s inside. You don’t know if they are happy or feel loved. So stop worrying about it and stop comparing. Always remember to “control the controllable” – work on what you can control. Work to attain your own personal happiness doing whatever it is that brings you joy. Who cares what your neighbor “appears” to have or be. Be true to yourself and you will be a success. Just follow the rule in this quote.

Daily Gratitude

Daily Gratitude: I’ve discovered something magical. However, it’s also very strange. In working with the folks who are making their transition, I’m finding myself mesmerized by one special thing about each of them. One man’s simple phrase (“why me?”) created surprise and passion in me and ensured that I will never forget him. Why? Because as I’ve written, his “why me” was not the “poor me” that you generally expect but the “why do I deserve all these blessings?” Another man’s smile has me in love with him in a way I’ve never felt before. It’s as if that smile is saying “you are a part of me and i, of you”. That is the greatest gift of communion that anyone could ever receive or ask for. And now there’s a woman who looks so deeply into my eyes that I feel as if I’m back in New York City in the subway, staring down the darkened tracks. I can see the light of the train coming my way, inviting me to peer more deeply into what’s there in the darkness. How can you refuse such an invitation? I can’t. And I feel honored that each of these people is sharing something very special with me at the end of their lives. We often tend to look at the external effects of dying – the immense weight loss and loss of strength and stamina. But these are just external “clothes” and if we only see and focus on that, we’ll miss so much. The essence of that person is still with us to be shared with the world. Instead of the losses, we need to take a moment to cherish the gains that come with death. There is a freedom of sorts and if you let them, these people still have so much to give. Rejoice and receive what they are offering.

Daily Gratitude

Daily Gratitude: Make this your daily affirmation – or something similar. It’s important that we think these kind of thoughts and it helps to say them out loud too. You know that my go-to affirmation is “everything always works out for me”. I use that all the time but also supplement it with this one. Have you ever noticed how, if you’re in a bad mood, it’s easy for everything to seem yucky too? It becomes a vicious circle and we have to work even harder to get out of that mood. If we can just look at all that happens as having some positive reason, then it will help to elevate our mood. When something seems bad, think about another time or event that wasn’t so terrible. Think about how it could be worse and be grateful. For most of us that just takes some effort. I know there are those in dire circumstances where it’s extremely hard to do this (people who are dying, lost a loved one, or who have lost everything in a fire or disaster for instance). If they can try to do this contrasting work too, it would be helpful. If they can’t then I’m sure we all understand that things are just too tough at that point. The rest of us don’t really have an excuse. Wouldn’t you rather go through the day finding good in something? Wouldn’t that make you feel better? I encourage you to start doing it, every single day and start with small things. If something is already good, tell yourself and the universe, how grateful you are. Then if someone cuts you off in traffic “declare it good” and think about the smiles you’ve seen on others’ faces even if you have to go back to a week or a month ago (I hope people smile at you more than once a month ). As with everything I recommend, start small but you have to be consistent. I think that once this becomes a habit, most of what you experience can be seen by you as not so bad after all. We could be starving in some third world country after all.