Daily Gratitude: I think you can summarize this quote by reminding yourself that what you need (which isn’t necessarily the same as what you want) will flow into your world as soon as you just let go. Letting go is such a hard task for all of us. It means giving up control and that’s definitely not something we’re programmed to do. But once we do let go and simply say (and feel) “everything always works out for me”, you’ll be surprised and things will begin to change. “But what if the change is bad?” I hear you saying. My response is quick and easy “there you go with the control issue again”. “Bad” is just a word, a thought and feeling that YOU have ascribed to something. In addition to the control issue there’s also the issue of instant gratification. You feel you MUST have the “good” stuff right now. 1) it doesn’t work that way. The universe (God, Buddha, higher power, whatever) knows what is “good” for you and when it can arrive so it does the most good. I had to go through 13 months of suicide inducing pain after Shingles and then I had to develop major medical complications that put me in the hospital for 5 weeks. Do you think I thought that was good? Hell no! But was it good? Definitely yes! Huh? It helped get me through the severe issues at work which were totally out of my control – the two big problems were gone the day before i returned to work. That is not coincidence. And it led me to discovering IFS and neuroplastic treatment of chronic pain. Both of those have totally changed my life. It’s taken a few years for me to see all the good and I’m still finding more but it was all good. Had I learned to let go sooner, this lesson (or lessons) would probably not have been so painful. What are you holding on to in a desperate attempt to “fix” that you probably should just let go of?

Daily Gratitude: What went through your mind when you read this quote? It took me a few times but then it began to sink in. It’s definitely a different way of looking at change. I’ll admit that change is NOT one of my favorite things – at all. But if I look at it as being creative, as building something new, then my “take” on change is altered. It becomes exciting actually and I never thought I would say that about change. Can you pick something small that’s changing in your life. Take some time to think about it. Then write about what good (or great) things you imagine might come from or with this change. This may not be easy but it’s worth it. And because it’s not easy is why you want to start small. You may even have to ask for help from a friend or family member to come up with something that’s changing. Or you could start with something that’s always changing such as getting older every day. That may or may not feel small to you though. I could use how in the fall the traffic will increase again once kids are back in school. That’s non threatening and very small. But I could use it to see how it’s something new and I could focus on what the differences will be. I may not be able to come up with the positives right away because it “always makes traffic so much worse” – but then I see that that’s just fighting the old (what else is complaining?). How can I put a positive spin on it? That’s where i have to make it fun or I’m liable to stop. Try it. See how it feels to make yourself think differently. Let us know.

Daily Gratitude: Even though I’m not big on all the emphasis we put on time, I do have to face reality (sometimes anyway). When you feel stressed, the need or request to do something else adds greater stress – even when it’s something that’s meant to distress you. I’ve found myself doing that recently. For nearly two years I was allowing myself a massage every week. It was time just for myself and it was also helping my overused muscles. But since becoming a death doula and starting to volunteer – all on top of trying to train for this year’s Vol State, there hasn’t been enough time to get the massages. I’m sure that’s no big deal to most of you and it really isn’t EXCEPT for what it symbolizes. Part of being a death doula means you’re supposed to be available. That means on little or no notice. I don’t have any problems with the idea but it messes with things you have scheduled. So the “big deal” about my not being able to get massages is that I am having to adjust to a different way of life and not rely on scheduled activities as much. I am ok with this as all of these things were my choice – I could say “yes” to the massages and no to one or more of the other activities. Or I could say “no” to the massages to free me up for the other things. That’s what we have to think about. We have a choice to say “yes” or “no” and it’s our responsibility to be aware of that every single time we say “yes” to something. Somewhere down the road that yes will turn into a “no”.