Visualization is not daydreaming. It’s a focused technique where you do mental imagery and see things exactly as you want them to be. You’ve heard the saying “everything happens twice” (my paraphrase). This is an old belief that is now, like so many others, incorporated into many motivational speaker’s repertoire. What it means, though, is that we first create what we want in our minds and then it happens in our lives. It may not be right away but it will happen. I had wanted to do the cross country trek for over 30 years and thought about it in my mind so many times. It took 30 years but it finally got started. I put it that way because you all know that it didn’t get finished…yet. I’m still working on that. When I was a kid I only wanted 3 things – to be a doctor, to have a horse and to meet Mickey Mantle. I ended up with two of the three so that’s pretty good.
Why did I put the subject line as I did? Because if you're like me, you may not have been using visualization the best way. I have only discovered this recently. Most people, including me, think that you should visualize the outcome you want and if you're specific enough and rehearse it, it will come. But what I have discovered is that it's really helpful if you write down potential adversities that you will encounter and then have specific visualizations of how you will be overcoming or dealing with them. You need to do this for every type of obstacle you can think of. If you go along with the everything happens twice, this make sense. If you just write the obstacles down and in writing figure out a plan then that is good too. You are still creating the solution in your mind, just not in a formal visualization. Try writing it out and then do a visualization - watching yourself figure out how to get across the stream without getting totally immersed or watching yourself making sure your kids are safe while you're doing a business video without them barging in, when these things occur, it will be like second nature to implement the solution.
This type of visualization makes so much sense for we all know that when we want something big, there will be things that are considered obstacles in the way. If we anticipate and visualize how to navigate despite the obstacle, they then are no longer obstacles.
This is exciting to me and will be something I implement for Vol State training.
Hope you have a great day - you will if you visualize it!
Wars are not just external. We wage wars within almost each and every day and sometimes those wars are much more fierce than any others. Why? Because we are waging war with ourselves. Why on earth would we do that? There are many reasons but most are buried in our past and we may never know what they are even with years of therapy.
You don't need therapy to know that there is a war brewing or already raging inside you. You can just FEEL it. It's those heart pounding, sweat inducing, shallow breathing times of our lives and our days when you just don't feel good. I am not referring to not feeling good physically although that will be the next step if you don't use your own United Nations to end the war. I'm talking about that psychological tug of war you're most likely experiencing and don't even know it.
Your kids need this, your spouse wants that, your job demands something else and on and on. Your to do list rolls down the wall and onto the floor it's so massive. You know you could really use some alone time, a massage, a walk or run with some friends, a night out, uninterrupted time to be with or talk with a friend. But when? Everything and everyone else is pulling at your insides, tugging every which way to get your full attention. There are skirmishes within the wars. Each of the kids wants your full attention so they are at war with each other; your spouse is jealous of the time the kids and your job take so he/she is at war with the kids and your job; your boss demands your full attention and time - you have to produce perfectly - there's a war there between your boss and your family.
Can you say 'no' to any of these? Can you stop that constant nag on your nervous system? If you don't, there is a high likelihood that your body will then step in and "help you out" by manifesting something physical. It's trying to get your attention. If you don't get that message, it will send you another one and it will continue doing that until you do get the message. I have told you of how that occurred in my life and unfortunately I didn't hear the incoming calls until it was painfully obvious - literally. I learned a lot from that but hope you don't have to go through similar experiences although from reading your comments I think many of you are in receipt of the same kind of telegrams - do they even have telegrams anymore?
The other day I received a "text" from my soul. Fortunately I have grown to the point where I can identify some of these and ask the question "ok, what message is this experience trying to give me?" If you listen to your intuition, you'll usually be able to interpret it correctly. This signal was telling me to slow down. I know that sounds funny for someone who's retired but I have been going at full speed in the last 6 months or so and even more since the first of the year. I am reading as much as I can trying to read a book a day. There is a lot of material going into my skull and onto my brain's receptive surface. But I am not taking time to enjoy or process it. I put the books to the side telling myself I want to take notes but because it's on to the next one, that doesn't happen. So there's a war between the new knowledge/input and the application of that knowledge. As a result of listening to the message and knowing that if I don't pay attention to it now, the future messages won't be as benign, I decided to make a change. I will take one day a week where all I do is walk and then spend the rest of the day reviewing everything I have learned the previous week. Sort of clearing the slate to start the next week. I will have a peaceful ending to that war.
What about you? What can you do to ease the pain of the parts inside of you that are fighting so hard for your love and attention? What tools can you use? Will you use them? Do you want to wait until you develop pain or illness?
If you've been successful in helping to put out these fires within, post in the comments any suggestions you have for folks. We have to win the war within before we have any hopes of dealing with the external world.
Perspective is so important in our lives. You might say we need to have the proper perspective on perspective. Sorry, I know that was bad but it's early in the morning.
We have to be able to step back and objectively evaluate things so we can respond and react appropriately. If we don't take an objective look, some minor problem may be turned into a monster and you'll be wrapped up in worry and angst and "oh my what now". That is bad enough but the real issue is that when you get so wrapped up in things, you lose a large amount of your problem solving ability because your brain interprets your response as danger and then will start spewing out all the stress chemicals that decrease the blood flow to your frontal cortex - the problem solving area. That's one reason you can possibly look back at some of your decisions and go "why on earth did I do that? I know better." You know better but not when you're in that heightened arousal state.
It's interesting that I found multiple definitions of perspective and I encourage you to check them out yourself. The ones I thought were most perplexing were those that had something like this (from Merriam-Webster): "the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance." Why did I find it perplexing? Because this implies that each of us knows the true relations or relative importance. That begs the question - relative importance to whom?
Regardless of what the strict definition is, I found this definition/discussion at vocabulary.com to be the most telling: "Your perspective is the way you see something. If you think that toys corrupt children's minds, then from your perspective a toy shop is an evil place."
Can you practice evaluating and maybe even changing your perspective and seeing what things look like from the other side? Or at least see if it feels as if there is a difference.
Two examples: - It's been very cold here in Texas (it was in the 20s with single digit wind-chill) last week. This is NOT normal for southern Texas. Add to that that my heater was broken until yesterday, I was cold for 5 days. So, yesterday I looked at the temp as I got ready to go for my walk (I skipped two of the 5 days because of the cold) and thought "wow 46 degrees - that's pretty good. I don't need to bundle up as much." I even noticed that the trees were blowing so I checked the wind-chill and there was none according to the app.
Out I went and I have to tell you that 46 degrees is NOT that warm unless you're in the direct sun which i was at times and not at other times. Two weeks ago i would have been shivering at the thought of 46 degrees. But since we'd had 5 days of REALLY cold weather with "numbers" of 20, the "number" 46 seemed downright warm. What a difference two weeks made in my perspective. I think that the 5 days of being really cold even inside added to that change in perspective. Once I went outside I realized how wrong my perspective had been.
Wouldn't it be great if we could recognize that some of our problems are based on poor perspective in life? As I have said many times, awareness is the key.
- This goes back to Vol State last year but it's still a prime example. We are all out there feeling miserable because it's hot, we have blisters or sore feet and muscles or whatever. But we're out there being miserable VOLUNTARILY. Along comes this wonderful grandmother (Mary) and tells us about the tragic loss of her granddaughter, Emma, who had been a road angel for us for several years. The agony Mary was experiencing was palpable and it was certainly NOT Voluntary. It immediately changed my perspective on how "tough" i had it either for those 10 days or in life. That change in perspective allowed me to experience the rest of the adventure knowing how very fortunate I was, no matter what hurt.
For those of you who are old enough to remember Susan Boyle's entry into the world of fame - she was thought of as a simpleton and then as a brilliant singer, then as a selfish woman and then her disability was revealed and it explained all of what had been happening. Each time something else had occurred we had a different perspective on her (which, by the way, was none of our business anyway but for some reason we always have to judge others especially those who have made something of themselves). When we found out about her condition that put everything else we had judged into its proper perspective.
What can we learn from all this? First and most obvious is that we shouldn't judge people or events unless we are intimate with the facts and even then, what good does judging them do? Secondly, make sure you get all the facts before you think you can "see" the whole picture. Remember that there are always second and third order effects to everything. So, someone might not have made a decision you think is right but stop and ask yourself whether there could be other factors in play that you're not aware of. Factors, perhaps, that would lead even you to make that other decision.
Why not just stick to trying to put your own life in perspective. How bad is it that your internet went out but you are warm and cozy and well fed. Try thinking about the people who have no homes or who have to choose between paying the utility bill and buying food. How bad is your internet being out now?
Can you look back on your life and see any events where your perspective might have been wrong and skewed your response/reaction to something?
