Daily Gratitude: Have you ever noticed this? The more you concentrate on the bad in someone or something, the more you see the bad. Your brain is doing what it thinks you want. Since you’ve criticized something in that person, your brain thinks that’s what you want to focus on and it does its usual bang-up job of bringing you what you want, what you “asked for”. Remember that it’s just one big database and it has an excellent filtering system. If you look at something and declare it “bad”, that annotation goes into the database and all such things are labeled the same. So, next time you see that same thing OR something similar, guess what? It is labeled bad. Then your “I want to please you” thinks you’re interested in that sort of thing so it searches for anything and anyone with even a smidgen of similarity so it can point it out to you as bad. Have you ever had or almost had a fight with someone very close to you and then all of a sudden you begin to see qualities in them that you’d swear were never there before? It’s because your helpful brain is now pointing out what it thinks you want to be made aware of – those annoying things that you ignored for decades. If you start looking for the good in someone or something, even if you have to stretch it, you will start to see more things you’ve interpreted (your brain has interpreted) as good. Maybe it’s something as mundane as “well he doesn’t talk with his mouth full”, “his clothes are clean”, “ he didn’t spit”, or “she doesn’t chew gum. You may have to really stretch to find something. Do it and then do it again the next day and continue until that thing’s presence is more tolerable. You’ll see the law of attraction at work if you diligently practice this.

Daily Gratitude: This is so true. The problem we humans have is that sometimes we keep those blinders and sleep masks so tight on our faces with the earplugs in place that we don’t hear or see those messages. As one who has been an expert at this all my life, I again, implore you to take off the masks and pull out the earplugs and LISTEN. Pain is a very big message. Put simply, since you already know that your brain is primarily a protective organ, pay attention to your brain’s communications. In the past when the universe sent me a “text message”, it was as if I was trying to decipher a teenager’s text or worse yet, like so many people, i ignored the message – I “couldn’t be bothered”. You WILL feel pain. The thing is that we do such a good job of suppressing our emotions, that we don’t allow ourselves to feel the emotional pain. But the brain will not be outsmarted. It recognizes this road block and has done a wonderful job of finding a detour – chronic physical pain. It’s really that simple – your brain is trying to alert you and it will try both ways to get you to listen. When you keep your emotions buried deep in the cellar (does anyone use that word anymore?), it says “okey dokey. Be that way” and it sends you physical pain. Listen listen listen. It’s giving you information you need to pay attention to. You really want to get an A, not an F on this exam.

Daily Gratitude: Ever wonder where those extra pounds came from? Were they hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag (in some ways maybe they were). Did they slip in with all the junk mail you get? “I know I didn’t eat that much at the party” you mutter indignantly “what happened?” Same thing with stress effects. “I can see why Susie and Billy have all those aches and pains. Just look at their hectic lives. But that’s not me. No way”. Well perhaps you should do a little more self-reflection. You know those “food apps” (you know they are really guilt apps) where they ask you to t track everything you put in your mouth. Have you ever used one? I looked up stress trackers in the App Store and most of them focused on HRV (heart rate variability), which is probably ok as it’s an objective measure. But I know i was seeing my HRV (unsolicited) when I was tracking sleep (also useless despite a million apps) and it was all over the place. Now there probably are some things that are still a wee bit stressful in my life but nothing like it used to be. All it did was yep, you guessed it – stress me out. But I also know that tiny bits of stress build up just like calories do. And I was the prize recipient of those effects in 2017. I learned not to ignore those little bits. This is why i journal (and make an attempt to do it every day) and I meditate. Addressing the stress is also a big benefit I get from IFS (Internal family systems) where I can find the “parts” that are responding to stress with a less than helpful response and work to change the response. Remember that the event or thing is not the stress. Our response to that event or thing is the stress. I will react (and then respond) to something differently than you. I also will most likely respond differently depending on what else is going on in my life. If you’re worried about one thing, or frazzled by some event(s), then something that normally doesn’t bother you will jump way high in the importance (and aggravation) scale. Aren’t there times when you don’t want to harm people when you’re stopped at a light? But other times you really want to speed through it and anything in your way. Find the practices that help you relax and also keep track of what stresses you’re experiencing- you can do that with an “emotion” log. In one column put the events of the day. And in the other column put how you responded and then if it’s not too much work, use the 3rd column to write down your emotions. See if you can detect patterns. Let us know what you use, if you do, to help keep your responses out of the stressful level. And also let us know if you’ve suffered the effects of too much stress. I am positive that everyone reading this has whether they know it or not (and whether they want to admit it). Make the practice fun and enjoyable.