Hate begets hate

Daily Gratitude: This is so simple you’d think we could all concentrate on the love part. But alas, humans are anything but simple. It takes effort for us to see the love and the good in others. I think one place to start is to ask “what happened to Joe to make him act and be like this?” Instead of “what’s wrong with Joe?” When we ask what’s wrong with Joe, we are assuming we are right – or at least that WE know what’s right. Who died and left us in charge? When you ask what happened to Joe, you’re seeking his story so you can better understand what’s going on inside of him that’s leading to these behaviors you don’t like. Once you find out he grew up in an abusive home and was forced into the streets to earn money at the age of 8 and was unhoused since the age of 10, you might be able to see how some of his behavior was inevitable. The more you know about IFS, too, the more you can see how Joe is not all bad as you initially thought. His primary protective mechanism (his protective parts) have just been performing their duties. There are, undoubtedly, more parts in him that are really kind and good but are subservient to the more volatile ones. See how just asking a simple question can help you reframe your opinion of Joe? This doesn’t mean that all of a sudden you have to approve of his behavior just because you understand it. Perhaps you can look at Joe (and not his actions) differently. It’s worth a try

Daily Gratitude: One way to be more to yourself is to help another person. “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less!” What better way to be fulfilled than to take something you have been given (a quality not an object) and “gift” it to someone else. I see people posting quotes all the time. And I love the quotes. But you know what would matter more to me? It would be a “quote plus!” Huh? A quote plus what it means to the poster; you know, what struck home that made them want to share that quote. Wouldn’t that excite you? To know what others were thinking or feeling because they read something? I think that’s why reviews are so meaningful. People write about their feelings. Too often, though, they write about their negative experiences and that’s not what I’m talking about here. There is nothing wrong with sharing what you didn’t like. That helps others in their decisions but i also like to know what they liked about things. The emotions behind that somehow don’t stimulate people as much to make the effort to review something. That is kind of sad. If you got something out of a product or a book, that is a great way of saying “thanks”. Even though it seems as if I have digressed (what else is new), I just want us to give more to others than we get sometimes to see how that feels. How do you go outside yourself and then how does that make you feel toward yourself?

Daily Gratitude: I read about this in a daily newsletter I get and it struck me as so simple yet so important. A child is filled with wonder and curiosity and is in awe of so much in their surroundings. That’s what often gets them in trouble. They don’t have preconceived notions or judgments about things. They go into a situation wanting to find out everything there is to know. And then we lose that because of the limitations and fear placed upon or around everything. If we want to really experience life we have to pass through the doors we encounter without fear. We need to wonder what’s on the other side not worry about it. Be open. Be curious. Don’t be afraid or resentful or judgmental. That is childish. There’s entitlement too. Think of the temper tantrums of the little ones when things don’t go their way. The “it’s not fair” shouting and slamming of doors. These are the characteristics we wish to avoid. Enter into every day with the “I wonder what I’ll learn today attitude” and beautiful things will open up for you.