Daily Gratitude: Whenever I take time to stop and reflect on my life, I wonder what I could have accomplished had I not been so ruled by fear. It’s kind of funny how in some respects I’ve been fearless and yet in so many others I’ve cowered away from life like a caged dog. Things began to change, though, 5 years ago when I learned about IFS (Internal Family Systems). What an amazing turnaround that created. Prior to this the most daring thing I ever did was push the application button to do Vol State in 2014. I think that’s one reason I love it so much. And then in 2019 I got the courage to try to fulfill a 30 year dream of crossing the US on foot. I didn’t succeed but still have that desire especially to conquer New Mexico. But I can’t tell you how that experience was so difficult yet so rewarding. And I’m not talking about difficult from a physical perspective (since I only made it 716 miles) but from an emotional standpoint. I was (and still am) shy. I was afraid to talk to people and i certainly didn’t know how to ask for help. All of those things were required. But my desire to do this seemingly impossible thing (for a short old woman anyway) outweighed those fears. That was the dream in my heart and it had been there growing and blossoming for all those 30 years. I think that tiny section of my life is exactly what Roy Bennett is talking about here. When you feel something you want to do and feel it with all your heart, don’t bury it. Nourish it and keep it alive while trying to figure out how to make it happen. My biggest reason for not doing it sooner was, of course, work. But I often wonder what would have happened had I tried it at a much younger age. Would I have made it all the way? And how would my life have changed then? It is futile to spend a lot of time wondering but it does give me a little bit of a push when i have something else I want to do but feel too scared. This past experience helps me get past those fears. What do you have in your life that you can use to stimulate thoughts about what would have happened if……?

Daily Gratitude: You know my most important mantra – “everything always works out for me!” Such a simple sentence. But it’s also a command – a command to the universe to coordinate my life so that things do work out for me. The caveat here, though, is the hardest one to accept. I am NOT the one who knows what that means. The universe is! I have to let go. It’s not in my control. The more I try to control it, the further away I drift. Once I accept that whatever circumstances are in front of me really are the best for me whether I can see it right now or not, then I can become less agitated and I can stop trying to orchestrate the events and situations. I will tell you that absolutely everything that has happened to me that I thought was horrible has actually turned out good. In addition to giving up control we have to stop being creatures of instant gratification too. Things happen as they should and WHEN they should. That’s not necessarily along the timeline we’d like. Just accept that and move on. If you believe that everything always works out for you, there will be much less struggle and much more interest and intrigue as you say “hmm this is interesting. I know everything always works out for me so I am excited to see what this will lead to; to see what the universe has in store for me.” That kind of attitude will increase and improve your vibration and as a result you’ll attract more good. You have to remain steadfast in this belief, though, because if you waiver from it, your vibration changes and it will take much longer for the “good” to arrive. It’s like ordering something to be delivered via regular mail vs via Amazon prime or overnight delivery for instance. Your primary job once you recognize what you want, is to remain focused on knowing that what is best for you will come. And be open to the fact that the universe is much wiser than you. Remember how I told you that my developing epilepsy was the best thing that ever happened even though it destroyed my lifelong desire of becoming a neurosurgeon? Or how the excruciating pain of the postherpetic neuralgia (post Shingles nerve pain) may have saved my life because in an indirect and long way my kidney disease was discovered earlier rather than later? These are just two examples. Look back at your life and see if this isn’t true for you.

Daily Gratitude: How do you define success? I’ve asked that before but it never hurts to repeat such an important question. My recent escapade at vol state is a perfect example of this. I made several mistakes and most of them were BEFORE the race even began. I started in the hole- a very deep hole. In fact, it was one I didn’t think I could climb out of. But I wasn’t going to throw away all those miles and hours of training, all the money and time spent getting to the race just to pull up stakes and say “ah well, I messed up – I’m out of here. See ya.” No way was I going to quit on day 1 when I knew I’d messed up badly. What was I to do? Just keep moving. At least I had learned that last year – that moving even very slowly was more productive than sitting around trying to get my energy back. What a great lesson from the past. And how smart of me (patting myself on the back) to remember that. That one fact and idea from a previous race kept me moving even when my legs just wouldn’t go. That 1 mile an hour was at least one more mile than I would have made had I just sat around moping. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to make the 314 that way but I’d never know sitting on my butt. You have to keep moving and moving toward some goal, even if today it has to be a tiny goal. We put fancy labels on things. People talk about this type of idea as “setting your intention.” Why not just say each morning “what is my tiny goal for today?”. Face it and accept it and then just move toward it. Same thing in the evening – simply ask yourself “did I reach my tiny goal” today? It doesn’t have to be complicated and fancy with acronyms and cute phrases. Just those two questions each day. Move from point a to point b every day. Then do it over the next day.