Daily Gratitude: Even though I’m not big on all the emphasis we put on time, I do have to face reality (sometimes anyway). When you feel stressed, the need or request to do something else adds greater stress – even when it’s something that’s meant to distress you. I’ve found myself doing that recently. For nearly two years I was allowing myself a massage every week. It was time just for myself and it was also helping my overused muscles. But since becoming a death doula and starting to volunteer – all on top of trying to train for this year’s Vol State, there hasn’t been enough time to get the massages. I’m sure that’s no big deal to most of you and it really isn’t EXCEPT for what it symbolizes. Part of being a death doula means you’re supposed to be available. That means on little or no notice. I don’t have any problems with the idea but it messes with things you have scheduled. So the “big deal” about my not being able to get massages is that I am having to adjust to a different way of life and not rely on scheduled activities as much. I am ok with this as all of these things were my choice – I could say “yes” to the massages and no to one or more of the other activities. Or I could say “no” to the massages to free me up for the other things. That’s what we have to think about. We have a choice to say “yes” or “no” and it’s our responsibility to be aware of that every single time we say “yes” to something. Somewhere down the road that yes will turn into a “no”.

Daily Gratitude: There is so much we could do if we only recognized that what was holding us back was our lack of belief that we could do it. A baby doesn’t know it doesn’t have great motor coordination. It only knows it sees something and wants to get to it to touch or hold it. It also doesn’t have any “failure” belief so when it falls down it doesn’t say “damn I’m a failure. So I’m never going to try to walk again”. It learns “failure “ thinking from those around it. Even if you think that you’re too old for this to apply to you, think how you can encourage those around you or those who come to you for advice. Don’t tell them “well it looks pretty impossible. Why don’t you do them the favor of believing in them. Maybe some of that belief will rub off on you. Always think first “I can do this. I just have to figure out how” instead of “this is impossible” or “this is impossible for me.” Try it for awhile and see if your thoughts and attitude changed.

Daily Gratitude: How true this is. We talk a lot about resistance and I think Resistance (yes with an intentional capital R) has its strongest hold when it comes to letting go. We have to control everything and know how everything is going to work out) or at least “know” all the possibilities. It takes forever to realize we have no control over all that no matter how hard we try. Letting go means “losing” to so many of us. It should actually be considered a “win” if it has to be considered anything. Personally, I know how good it feels if I stop trying to make things happen – and happen the way I want them to. Or, if i just say “OK, I’m going to sit back and let this all unfold as the universe, not me, plans”. Once I’m able to do that, my breathing is not so tight and i don’t feel as jittery (calming my nervous system). It’s a feeling of great relief and sometimes plain old joy to feel that easy deep breathing. Can I do this all the time? Heck no. Am I trying to do it more? Definitely. What helps? “Everything always works out for me!” As dorky as that sounds, if I say it enough it’s so much easier to let go.