Category Archives: Talking With Terrie – 180 seconds to a better life

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Conditioned responses and routines

A conditioned response is a learned response to a previously neutral stimulus that has been paired with an eliciting stimulus.

So what you’re probably asking? Well the “what” is that there may be things happening in your life that you’re not happy with. These may be conditioned responses and with a fair amount of effort – sometimes a lot of effort – you may be able to reverse them.

Here’s some examples in my life. The funniest one is that if I pick up a book to read in the morning and start to read, I will begin to yawn. This happens without fail. Maybe you’re thinking it’s becaue I’m tired in the morning. But that’s not it. I’ve been up and working at my morning routine long before I pick up a book. It’s that someone a few a years ago my brain associated yawning with a book. I can read online a nothing happens.

This is the breakdown:
There’s pairing. I started reading a book and I yawned at the same time.

Then there’s association. My brain associated a yawn with opening a book.

The conditioned response develops so that when my brain sees me open a book it thinks it’s time to yawn

Then when I’m walking on a certain route – one where i know the porta potties are as soon as I get to a certain point on that route, my bladder begins to send messages to my brain that “it has to go”. When I’m on another route – leaving under the exact same conditions like how much I drink and when I pee at home, I’m fine at the same distance because the porta potty on that route is not for another mile. It took me a while to realize this one but when I found that I was feeling fine all the way until about 1/2 mile from the potty and all of a sudden I really had to go.
So what does this have to do with routines?

I have been having chronic daily headaches for the past 5-6 weeks and I have associated most of it with my daily morning routine. There’s more to it though because it’s most often there when I wake up.
But i decided to change my morning routine and see what happened. It’s been less than a week so I can’t really tell about the effect on my headaches except that so far they have not occurred when I wake up. But what I have noticed is that I feel a sense of freedom and excitement now that I’ve changed up that routine. I do parts of it in the evening or throughout the day so I haven’t eliminated anything. I’ve just reordered my routine.
Take a look at your days and see if there are things you might be doing “just because”. You started doing them sometime but maybe they have become stagnant. It’s important for the things we do to be stimulating and exciting so analyze your activities and see if there’s any shaking up you can do. And maybe you’ll find some conditioned responses that you weren’t aware of either.

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Message 300 and my anniversary

Here’s to a fantastic week! I know mine will be phenomenal and I affirm the same for each of you.

Saturday was the 300th message but I didn’t do anything special since it was the weekly roundup

I am grateful that you all have hung in there with me for 15 hours! That’s like taking a one hour class once a week for almost 4 months. Maybe it’s time for a final exam. Just kidding.

I have learned a lot and I hope you have too. Your comments certainly have enriched my life and increased my knowledge base. I am in awe of all the brilliant minds out there.

Now let’s see if I can make it to a year in the middle of January. You get to experience another race with me too. Aren’t you lucky. It’s a 6 day race but it’s one of those where I walk around in a mile circle for six days. Even though it sounds crazy, it’s great for practicing mental discipline. More about that as we get closer.

The significant thing about today, though, is that it’s the 15th anniversary of my weight loss surgery. If I hadn’t had that I wouldn’t be here to do this message today. I am 4 11 and I weighed 300 pounds at the time of my surgery. Needless to say my heart was having problems handling that load.

I was extremely fortunate to have a pioneer do my surgery. And as with all pioneers in medicine, he was ridiculed and not accepted by mainstream medicine in the US. And this procedure still isn’t.

But he was welcomed with open arms in countries all around the world and spent his last several years traveling and teaching his technique.

What’s special about it? Well there are different types of weight loss surgery and many are fraught with complications. This procedure has less. It’s done laparoscopically whereas the others are generally done by opening the abdomen. My procedure was less than 45 minutes. I was capable of going back to work the next day. It’s also easily revisable and reversible.

It angers and frustrates me when the medical establishment refuses to embrace new concepts like this and the neuroplastic theory of chronic pain. I’m reading a book titled “Cured” by Jeffrey Rediger and it’s by a doctor who investigated so called miracles meaning spontaneous remissions. And he talks about why this hadn’t been checked out before and when some doctors did have theories they were blackballed.

It’s important when you have something that means a great deal to you that you continue to pursue it and push as hard as you can. Don’t let others knock you off your horse. If they do, get back up and ride away Into the sunset. Even George Strait has a song about that – the cowboy rides away.

Have a diamond week and build on your diamond collection.

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Letting go – an expansion of the marshmallow test.

You remember the marshmallow test, right? They put kids in a room with a plate holding 1 marshmallow. They told them they could eat it now but that if they could wait a short period of time and not eat that marshmallow, they would be given a second one.

The results showed The ability to wait was linked to greater self-reliance, confidence, and better coping mechanisms under stress as they grew older. 

And yes I know there is a lot of criticism about the test and its conclusions – what else is new ?

This was a test to measure the child’s ability to delay gratification. How many of us would pass that test today?

I wish they would do a similar test where the researcher would come right back in and take the marshmallow away. And see how that went.

But you could do your own study. Make it simple. Maybe even use a marshmallow

This should be a good place to start since marshmallows are probably NOT part of your binge food list – or maybe they are. Anyway, I don’t think missing them will be playing nasty on your craving centers. You always want to start something new with the greatest chance of success.

So buy a small bag of marshmallows but get the real ones not the baby size they sell. Some of this is a visual thing.

Add one or even 2 of them to your plate at a meal when you’re most likely to be the hungriest. That’s different for each of you.

Before you eat the meal sit there and contemplate eating that marshmallow. That’s why I want you to be the hungriest- so that contemplation will mean more. Do that for at least a minute and preferably two.

Then take the marshmallow off your plate but put it within sight. You may now eat your meal.

Note (preferably on paper or the computer ) what you felt if anything during that meal. Was it hard to a) remove the marshmallow and/or b) to leave it uneaten and in sight? What were your feelings. Go beyond “this is a stupid experiment. Why did I listen to Terrie”.

Next find a food you enjoy. Add it to your plate and contemplate eating it. Then remove it leaving it in plain sight

Log your feelings on this experience

You can also do this with snacks. If you normally eat ice cream in the evening, fill your bowl with the same amount as usual.

Then take a scoop out and put it back in the container. How did that go? Did you feel a loss? Deprived? Treated unfairly even though it was you doing it? Don’t worry you can keep your reactions to yourself.

You can take this even further if you live with someone. Fill up your ice cream bowl normally (be careful not to cheat knowing what’s coming). Then ask someone else to take “some” away and you can define that.

How do you feel now?

These are all lessons in letting go. As you think and experiment you might come up with other experiments. The idea is to practice letting go. As with anything else practice gives you the tools to help you through the same type of situation in the future.