Letting go – an expansion of the marshmallow test.

You remember the marshmallow test, right? They put kids in a room with a plate holding 1 marshmallow. They told them they could eat it now but that if they could wait a short period of time and not eat that marshmallow, they would be given a second one.

The results showed The ability to wait was linked to greater self-reliance, confidence, and better coping mechanisms under stress as they grew older. 

And yes I know there is a lot of criticism about the test and its conclusions – what else is new ?

This was a test to measure the child’s ability to delay gratification. How many of us would pass that test today?

I wish they would do a similar test where the researcher would come right back in and take the marshmallow away. And see how that went.

But you could do your own study. Make it simple. Maybe even use a marshmallow

This should be a good place to start since marshmallows are probably NOT part of your binge food list – or maybe they are. Anyway, I don’t think missing them will be playing nasty on your craving centers. You always want to start something new with the greatest chance of success.

So buy a small bag of marshmallows but get the real ones not the baby size they sell. Some of this is a visual thing.

Add one or even 2 of them to your plate at a meal when you’re most likely to be the hungriest. That’s different for each of you.

Before you eat the meal sit there and contemplate eating that marshmallow. That’s why I want you to be the hungriest- so that contemplation will mean more. Do that for at least a minute and preferably two.

Then take the marshmallow off your plate but put it within sight. You may now eat your meal.

Note (preferably on paper or the computer ) what you felt if anything during that meal. Was it hard to a) remove the marshmallow and/or b) to leave it uneaten and in sight? What were your feelings. Go beyond “this is a stupid experiment. Why did I listen to Terrie”.

Next find a food you enjoy. Add it to your plate and contemplate eating it. Then remove it leaving it in plain sight

Log your feelings on this experience

You can also do this with snacks. If you normally eat ice cream in the evening, fill your bowl with the same amount as usual.

Then take a scoop out and put it back in the container. How did that go? Did you feel a loss? Deprived? Treated unfairly even though it was you doing it? Don’t worry you can keep your reactions to yourself.

You can take this even further if you live with someone. Fill up your ice cream bowl normally (be careful not to cheat knowing what’s coming). Then ask someone else to take “some” away and you can define that.

How do you feel now?

These are all lessons in letting go. As you think and experiment you might come up with other experiments. The idea is to practice letting go. As with anything else practice gives you the tools to help you through the same type of situation in the future.