Daily Gratitude: Many of you may not understand this but I can definitely relate to it. Ive always been shy and had difficulty making friends. It took a long time for me to be comfortable being alone. But then i learned to enjoy it. I still don’t have a large number of friends but I am finally able to identify the qualities in others that I admire and not just act as if everyone has to be my friend. It’s not easy to admit this but it’s important for those who may be like I was to know they aren’t alone. Find the things about yourself that you like so that you can focus on them when you’re feeling alone. Otherwise you’ll be lonely as well as alone. And there is a difference. What do you like to do? Capitalize on those things. Use your strengths to make the alone times profitable and happy.

Daily Gratitude: I love this. Read it slowly and see a) if it strikes you as representing how you look at people; b) if this is how you feel people evaluate you. Even though nowadays with AI and short attention spans, we really owe it to the “book” to read the entire thing, not just the cover, the introduction or the reviews. What kind of background does the person have? Have they experienced trauma of any sort? Do they have any medical problems? Any recent losses? What’s their family life like? You have to try to get to know the other person. You might be surprised or even shocked. When you watch a movie, you want to know the plot AND the ending. But you can’t really skip the beginning and claim to know what the story’s about. Do you judge the quality of the movie from watching the trailer! On the other hand, let people know about what’s inside of you too. Allow them inside once you’ve decided you want a relationship of some sort. We are multilayered beings, an archaeological dig that takes time and effort to uncover. Next time you start to criticize or analyze or judge someone, stop and think of this quote.

Daily Gratitude: This is probably the most important lesson about emotions that i’ve ever learned. Understanding it can help free you from the “prison” of your emotions – feeling as if you’re out of control. Once you realize there are two components to your emotions, it’s easier to handle them. Sort of like all the “chunking down” I talk about. So, what are the two parts? Just as this quote says. 1) You can’t stop them from coming and 2) your response. In fact, many of us get into trouble trying to stop them from coming. Then they behave like a pressure cooker, building up steam over a certain time (seconds, minutes, days, years) to the point where the pressure has to be released and “Bam” you explode. This happens not just with anger but with the other emotions as well. All the time you’ve been stuffing them like a Thanksgiving turkey, they are being processed by your body and nervous system – result: illness and/or pain. I have first hand experience in this. It’s not something I’m proud of but definitely something I learned from – thank goodness. I’m finally, after all these decades, learning to feel them but i still have a very long way to go. What I am also getting better at is controlling how I respond to those feelings/emotions. Once i know I’m feeling anger, i know that i can either express it or not. That is a choice that IS up to me. That control factor that we all cherish. But, in the case of emotions, this is the one place where control is good. Try to observe your emotions over the coming holiday period and see if you can identify them (i can only do basic ones still) and then see what your response has been. If you like that response, you can continue to react that way. if you don’t, then you can change it. it will take practice but you’ll be happy you put in the effort. Think of other things you do out of habit or discipline. Make this observation and evaluation a “practice” just like the other practices in your life.