Category Archives: General

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Anxious About Something You Know You Should Do?

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I don’t know about you but i have a bad habit. i procrastinate and I procrastinate on the littlest things.

Sure I’ve read tons about procrastination but nothing really sticks.

But the subject of this post is the “anxiety” i have knowing I have to do something and haven’t done it yet. It’s weird. I’ll use an example or two. I have my business sales tax thing to pay. it’s not the filing, it’s just paying their determined yearly fee. But I leave the envelope unopened on the counter and just feel weighed down when i walk by it.

Something more simple but still “anxiety” producing. I am going to a celebration of life service for my great friend and mentor on Saturday. I have concerns about covid protocols but that’s not what has produced the anxiety. When I decluttered (which was after I retired) I got rid of so much of my closet that now i was worried did I have anything that would be appropriate? The other issue is whether or not it will still fit but I’ll deal with that later…lol…Anyway, I keep thinking “I’ll worry about that on Saturday” but every time I think of it, there’s that fluttering disturbance in my chest and body (anxiety is just a release of stress chemicals remember).

And thirdly – I saved a few photos of my “babies” (my Siberian huskies who have long ago travelled across the rainbow bridge – photos below if I remember) and wanted to keep them but not in just a pile. So I bought the right sized frames and they came about 2-3 weeks ago. The box of frames and the photos have laid where they were all this time and every time I walk past I get “anxious” (mostly it’s beating myself up that they are contributing to a messy look and what a failure I am that I couldn’t even do something so simple – this is a theme throughout unfortunately).

So today I decided that my body needed a rest from these 5-6 hour walks and all of a sudden I decided “just do them Terrie!” so I got all those things done. And I feel like there is a great weight off my shoulders. These three things are nothing things in the grand scheme of life but the weight of all the little things we have going on often outweighs the bigger things.

I encourage you to find something you’ve been putting off and just do it – or at least start doing it if it’s going to be lengthy. I don’t want to support Nike but they had it right – “just do it” and see how you feel. Good feelings are the stimulus for continuing to do uncomfortable things.

Have a great day!

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Can You Go 31 Days Without Complaining?

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Happy May Day (as opposed to Mayday..lol)

So this just came to me this morning. If we want to change our health and improve it, we need to work conscientiously on our nervous system and calm it down – decrease the stress chemicals and increase things like Oxytocin (the Love drug). There are so many ways to calm your nervous system but they need to be done consistently. I have talked about that many times before so I’ll spare you today.

Thinking and feeling optimistic and having hope are important to our health – not just our mental health but physical health as well.

What happens when you complain – either out loud or even just to yourself? Your body starts to react to what it perceives as stress and danger because you’re not happy with something. The brain doesn’t know that you’re just p.o’d at someone cutting in front of you in traffic. It just senses danger and does what it’s supposed to do – release the chemicals that makes you take evasive action so you get to safety. This leads to the feeling of “anxiety” which is just a chemical response not necessarily a mental health issue. Once we have that initial feeling of anxiety and we don’t recognize it as just a temporary thing, then it will continue to flood your system with more chemicals. I am pretty sure I wrote about the 90 second rule before. If you just allow those not so pleasant feelings to exist and not perpetuate them by being more afraid and worried, then the chemicals will metabolize in 90 seconds and you should be back to baseline. This is where deep breathing helps you get through those 90 seconds especially if you focus on having your exhalation be longer than the inhalation.

If you’re not aware of this phenomenon, you will most likely continue to be upset and maybe even more upset that that person’s actions have just totally ruined your day – and the stress chemicals keep flowing. And your day may, indeed, be ruined because you’re just perpetuating things. If you can wait the 90 seconds and let things get back to your normal physiological state then your attitude should be back to baseline and you can have a good day.

So…are you up for trying to go 31 days without complaining? Everyone uses the word “challenge” for everything so I won’t. It’s not really a contest. It’s you taking care of your mind and your body and your overall well being.

Use the 31 days to observe what happens inside you when things don’t go exactly as you’d like or as you planned. Even if you end up complaining, watch what is going on in your system and you will have benefitted from it.

Now this is not one of those things where you have to a) start over if you complain or b) report in or c) do anything you don’t want.

But it will be beneficial to observe your body’s chemistry at work and see what you can do with your mind and see how creative you can be to turn a complaint around. For instance, I got a jacket from Amazon today. It’s heavier than I’d like so I won’t be taking it on the event i wanted to. But i can use it. So here’s my choices:

-I can think “I wish it were lighter” and “I could return it” or
-i can think “damn it, why don’t they ever give you the weights. This was a waste of my time and now I have to either keep it or go to the post office to return it and with the pandemic I don’t want to go out, Blasted Covid”

Geez, even as i wrote that second one i could feel my pulse increase and knew that the adrenaline had been increased in my blood stream – AND I was just giving an example.

I’m going to do this and see what a different it will make in my outlook. Join me if you’d like. You certainly can’t lose.

Today’s gratitudes:
I am grateful I didn’t get caught in any flash floods yesterday

I am grateful I got done walking and could make it to the clinic to pick up my meds

I am grateful that I am happy and healthy!

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Are You A “Do”-er?

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What’s a “Do”-er? I bet almost all of you, like me, are “Do”-ers. You know, we have to “do” something, we don’t know what to “do” with ourselves if we’re not “doing” something. And maybe even we don’t think we are much of anything if we aren’t “doing” or accomplishing something? So often we tie our self-worth to what we have achieved. I know that’s been a discussion point at times in the chronic pain classes I have taken.

“Doing” is a good and very well accepted method of distraction. It often keeps us from looking deep within ourselves to find the immense good that’s there. I have seen this throughout my career too. I remember one of my bosses counseling a guy who had moved from a “worker bee” type position to a “management” position. He was having the most difficult time and she explained to him that this was a difficult transition to make. In his previous “life” his worth was measured by how many tasks were finished each day. In his present “life” (and role) there were no such daily measurements or quotas. His job was to lead, supervise, cajole, caretake, teach etc. – in essence be a parent raising his kids – to his staff. He was to be there for them and help them become “him”. That role involved not doing but just being. It sounds so simple but it wasn’t easy.

Am I just sitting here lecturing you? Heck no. I am telling you that yesterday was my declared “Do Nothing” day. It would have been my brother’s birthday and I decided that instead of running around (that’s the retired version of running around however) “doing” stuff so I didn’t have to deal with or address my feelings I would spend the day alone and with him.

I have to say that it worked out much better than I thought. I had the TV on for one movie and then no other sound all day – not even my favorite music station.

And for those of you who really know me get a load of this – i did NOT even watch or listen to the Yankees last night. So you know I was serious about this.

So what did i “do” all day? I journaled more than i have in forever. I listened to some YouTube videos I’ve been wanting to listen to (so i guess i lied above when is said there was no noise but i did that so early in the am I didn’t even remember). Then I read about 1/2 to 3/4 of a book on forgiveness (Forgive For Good by Fred Luskin) which has been recommended by Dr. Hanscom in his program on chronic pain. But the book is not about chronic pain (well it actually is but it’s about chronic EMOTIONAL pain) and it is NOT about the religious definition of forgiveness. I started it in November and have been wanting to finish it but my eyes don’t really like reading any more. However, yesterday felt like the right time. I hope to finish it today. I recommend it to everyone. I could even post about it if there was enough interest.

Of course in the beginning of the day i “worried” about not getting out there to walk and then i realized that as much as I love walking and how meditative it is, it is also another form of distraction and that the best way for me to truly dig deep was just to have no goals or ideas as to what was going to happen that day.

It was pretty liberating and I actually enjoyed myself despite many of the things I ended up dealing with while journaling.

I definitely recommend it so you can also have that contrast in your life. Remember that it’s hard to know what you really want when you haven’t looked at (or experienced) what you don’t want (clarity vs contrast).

Today’s Gratitudes:
I am grateful I had the idea for a “do nothing” day. It is helping to reset my mental health

I am grateful for all that i have learned (the building blocks) that enabled whatever i built yesterday to have more stability

I am grateful that I have the leeway to do the same for most of today if I choose.