Mine are “Patience” and “Memory”.

Last year it was “Growth” and amazingly enough, it was a year of great growth.

This last 8 weeks trying to let my stress fracture heal has required a lot of patience and it’s not over yet. So, today I thought that this must be the lesson I am to learn for the coming year.

As for the second word, memory, I was writing a phrase “given my memory” when I realized that this will be a year for my memory. it will improve and there will be many wonderful memories. It’s great when you can apply one word to multiple meanings!

Make your words focal points in your activities. Periodically reflect on them (use my reflection journal to help with that).

Share your words (or maybe just one) with us if you feel like it…It will be fun to see what each person feels is so important they can put it in a single word.

Happy New Year!

All the talk about goals and resolutions makes me bored.

I don’t really know why we focus on one particular day just because we turn another page in the calendar….I know that’s Scrooge thinking but it sort of diminishes the importance of all the other days in the year, doesn’t it?

Anyway, I thought there has to be a better way to go about your year. I decided that focusing on what you WANT is a great way to keep going in a positive direction.

So, instead of listing goals and resolutions solely (if it works for you, keep using it), why not write down a list of the things you want. These can be long term wants (to be a billionaire) or short term wants (I want to get into Vol State for 2023). But they should be things that when you think about them make you smile and feel happy.

“I want to be healthy” works much better inside of you than saying “I don’t want to be sick”.

When you’ve listed your wants, go through the list and remove the frivolous ones you just jotted down. Pick out the ones that really get your excitement levels up. Maybe they are your “Wow!” wants. Maybe they are your “this would really be special” wants. Or even “this would really make life a lot simpler for me” wants. Whatever your wants, focus on them. Make the list something you think would be do-able for the year. For instance break down the “I want to be a billionaire” into the things that will get you there. Not the same as the chunking for goal setting where the chunks are really small. These breakdowns will bring you joy!

Once you have your list, print it out, post it on your bathroom mirror or the refrigerator or somewhere where you’ll look at it often. Make a conscious effort daily to read the list, stopping to smile at each one. Play with this concept. Create visual images of you achieving each one. Make it a part of you.

Joy is a limited commodity nowadays. We can generate our own internal joy with listing our wants. Let the oxytocin begin to build up in your system and you’ll experience more happiness.

If you’re bored with goals and resolutions, like me, this is worth a try!

This is the first Christmas as an adult that I have felt at ease. I think it’s because I focus my attention now on the great things that I have, the wonderful friendships I am blessed with, watching the joy of others.

But beware – there are many around you that despite outward appearances are extremely lonely. Not to be morbid but those are the people at the most risk and the ones we should pay attention to. You can’t tell by how they act or what they have or probably by any fact you know about them. Loneliness is NOT the same as being alone. It’s much more pervasive and dangerous. It’s a feeling, not only of missing out (that dreaded FOMO I mentioned yesterday), but of not belonging – possibly the worst feeling one can ever experience. And, if you don’t belong, what’s the purpose for being here?

If you’re one of those who feel this loneliness for whatever reason, try to just focus on a few things today. And know that you are not alone. Just because the neighbors or your other relatives seem to be having it all, a wonderful time and family etc.. doesn’t mean they, too, aren’t lonely. Appearances really are deceiving. So, you are not alone. That may not help much but it’s a start. Perhaps you know someone who you think is feeling as you do. Reach out to them and see if you can help them.

Stay off social media today and maybe all week. That will only make you feel more left out and lonely.

Most importantly, don’t beat yourself up for feeling this way. It doesn’t mean you’re inferior or not worthy of happiness. It’s most likely a product of things that happened to you as a child. Just accept it and know that Christmas day is just another day – one that we hype up way more than we should. It’s supposed to have religious meaning but that is buried under all the external crap.

Since it’s supposed to symbolize a birth, what new thing do you (and can you) want to bring into your life. Start with something small and then proceed to bring it into your existence just as you would a child. It needs to be cuddled, loved and introduced to things slowly. Major changes at one time are more likely to lead to feelings of overwhelm and subsequent disappointment. Start small. Don’t look at it as a goal. You’re introducing something into your life that you want, not one you think you need. Maybe you’d like to travel but can’t right now. You can read about where you want to go and the adventures of others. YouTube, books, articles and blogs are all available for you to immerse yourself in. You don’t even have to leave your house. Want to draw? Start with a “doodle session”. Whenever you start to feel those empty feelings, pick up a pen or pencil and start doodling. That’s much more productive than stuffing food or drink in your mouth. After all, we’re simply trying to fill that void. Might as well be with something we want to do.

Reach out to someone for help. I learned that asking for help is not as hard as I thought. It’s hard, yes, but not impossible. People want to help and that makes them feel good too.

Move – movement helps regulate the chemicals that bathe your brain and you can improve your mood simply by moving.

Dance – a form of movement but better because it combines the power of music. And if you’re alone, no one will see. So, let go!

Think of people you know who don’t have things so good right now.

Think of your “gratitudes” – what are you grateful for.

Comment here and see how people will be supportive of your needs.

Most of all know that this day will end and tomorrow is Monday and although there is more holiday hype to come, you made it through Christmas. You can do the same next week!

I know what you’re going through. I’ve got all the t-shirts!