Daily Gratitude: It’s so important for us to remember this. Haven’t you wondered how your best friend could think so highly of John Smith? You just know he’s a jerk and dishonest and oh so conceited. After all, he snubbed you at the company party last year; he never smiles at you; and has never given you even one compliment. He must be a nasty man. How could two people have such different opinions of one person? Is he a different person when he interacts with each? Probably not since that requires planning and maximal effort. He’s probably the same guy no matter who’s around. So why does one person think highly of him and the other not? Because this man, John Smith, is thought of differently by you and your friend. You each have evaluated him based on your past experiences and your impressions (your thoughts and opinions). All of our thoughts and opinions are based on our past. Some people trust everyone because that’s how they were taught. Some don’t trust anyone for the same reason. Next time you have an automatic impression come into your head, stop and ask yourself two things: 1) Where am I getting this idea and 2) what other evidence can I gather to either substantiate or refute this possibly incorrect first impression it will teach you a lot about yourself.

Daily Gratitude: Did you ever consider having a day of silence? Probably not since we’re such tribal beings. But could you pick a day when you only paid attention to what you were saying – to yourself? You need to really be committed to doing this since we are continuously talking to ourselves and don’t even know or notice it. It’s also a bit hard since our thoughts come and go so fast we are hardly aware of them. The brain is a miraculous organ and we don’t respect it enough. Why not decide to script your day one weekend or holiday. By that I mean in the morning – or even the night before – figure out what you’re going to say to yourself from the moment you get up. Then do it but also pay attention to the dialogue that’s happening between the time of the thoughts you prepared and planned. Maybe you should only do the scripting for an hour or so. How about your trip to and from the grocery store. Plan what you’ll say in that time period and then watch what happens. How much of that less than desirable convenience actually took place? “Who” else was in that conversation with you. Did you have a so called back seat driver? This will give you a flavor of what you are whispering (although sometimes it’s just like shouting) to yourself when you’re not even aware. Maybe then you’ll be more attentive.

Daily Gratitude: Have you ever noticed this about yourself? You spend lots of time wondering and worrying about what other people either do or will think about you – about what you wear, what you say, how your hair is styled or cut, how much you weigh, how you talk, what accent you have, what kind of car you drive, what gym you belong to, etc. Why? Have you ever asked yourself that? What does it matter what others think of these mundane aspects of life? If we have to worry about what others think, we should be worried about what they think of our character. But even then, you are subject to their quick impressions and judgments without having the full context behind what it means to you. These “others” probably have no clue to how you were brought up and what value system was instilled in you so how can they really judge you – your thoughts or your reasons for doing something. And you don’t know anything about most of the people you’re interacting with. They may be smiling on the outside but crying on the inside. People with chronic illness, especially the invisible illnesses, have to do this all the time. They have to suffer in silence so that they can “put on a happy face” so that another person won’t feel uncomfortable around them. How messed up is that? But we all do it. Why not take that time you’re worrying about other people’s opinions and figure out how you are treating others and what virtues you want to show the world, regardless of what others think. Can you go a day or more without thinking about that? Let us know.