I will not become an obstacle to myself

Daily Gratitude: This is something I have to work more on. It makes so much sense but my ever busy mind often decides it “knows better” and takes off thinking the most horrible things it can come up with. Can you identify with that? As I get ready to leave for Tennessee on Sunday, everything has seemed to be wrong. In my mind (and therefore in my body). I always knew (intellectually) how powerful my mind was but now I am experiencing it full on. It has taken a rather small symptom and definitely turned that molehill into a mountain. As I watch it do all these gyrations of “it could be this; it could be that; should I go or should I skip the race? What if this; what if that?”, I am in awe not only of its ability to make symptoms come and go but also of the impact my dysfunctional nervous system still has – despite the intense work I’ve done for all these years. The only difference is that at least now I can recognize what’s happening. That is a big step. I know all this is based on fear. Can i, at 76, do this grueling race again? Can I possibly endure the heat and sleep deprivation to make it 314 miles again? But the fear is even deeper than that and I must work through it to identify it. Others might say “oh just use affirmations and cute sayings and you’ll be fine.” But although those things may mask the fear for a bit, it’s still deep within and will resurface at another time. That’s the problem I have with acronyms and cute sayings. They are simply masked men swooping in to save the day …. but what about the rest of the year? Anyway, enough rambling. I just wanted to let you know that despite everything I write every day, I am not pontificating, just learning along with all of you!

Daily Gratitude: I can attest to this fact. It doesn’t take much for my imagination to try to be like Walt Disney’s. There’s a fierce competition going on there. One little thought and off it goes. As I was preparing for my trip to Tennessee for Vol State, any little symptom became a major crisis. I really need to find a way to combat this. Or at least derail it once it starts. Emmet Fox wrote “The Golden Key” and advises that we should immediately stop thinking about whatever negative thought has come to mind and put it on something spiritual. This takes control and intent but in the past when I’ve been able to practice it, it has worked well. Once it’s gone too far, though, it takes immense power to pull the mind away from that negative sequence because that’s exactly what has happened- that one negative thought has started rolling down the mountainside and has built up momentum and it’s become an avalanche. I, personally, need some graphic visualization to help me stop that sequence of events. I am looking at all I love in order to find something specific I can turn my focus to immediately upon engagement with that negativity. How do you all manage to stop the progression? Let us know in the comments.

Daily Gratitude: Take a moment to think about this. How often have we made some problem worse by constantly thinking about it, or trying to “figure it out”, or wonder why it would happen to us, etc? As they say “people in glass houses”… i do this way too often. Instead of saying “ok this is the problem. These are the resources I have. This is what I can do to solve this problem.”, i sit around and worry about it, therefore not accomplishing one single thing and the adversity is (to no one’s surprise) still right there in front of me. Why? Because I haven’t thought about it objectively nor have I taken any action. How many times have you felt poorly or had something physically bother you yet you haven’t called for a doctor’s appointment. You’ve just continued on spending a good part of your day (and night) conjuring up all sorts of scenarios with your vivid imagination. Then what happens? Usually you start to feel worse. And you certainly don’t get a lot done in your life while you’re worrying. I think we don’t realize the resources we have within our grasp and that’s another reason we don’t solve our problems in a timely manner. It would help to take an internal inventory of our resources starting with your resilience. Another thing that would help is the practice of asking others for help. I bet you’re cringing when you read that. But it is an important skill that we aren’t taught. In fact, we’re taught the opposite. But just think about how good you feel when you help others. Wouldn’t it make sense that it’s nice to allow others that same joy and good feeling by helping you? Think of all they could learn by helping you through the adversity. Adversity in your life? Face it and work on it don’t brood about it. Ps I know there are things that happen that really suck and do so for a long time. This is not a Pollyanna approach. I just want to encourage you to spend your energy on the solution not the worry.