Daily Hotline Message

Message 305

The mastery minute 

Today’s message comes from a newsletter called the Daily wellness.   

Essentially the mastery minute is committing to one small, skill- building task every day 

It’s something that takes hardly any time – just a few minutes but you do it each day and it stretches you just a bit beyond your comfort zone. 

You see all these “daily” things like word of the day or some of the language programs that you do every day and then I guess get points for consistency. Maybe learning to play a new  chord on an instrument. 

The key is for it to be short, achievable and gives you a tiny sense of accomplishment. This is not a smart goal even though it sounds like it. It’s too give you something you definitely can achieve every day 

You’ve proved to yourself that you’re capable of growth by doing something challenging even if it’s small. It builds self efficacy which is your belief in your ability to learn and improve

Pick one small skill you want to develop or are curious about. 

Each day, spend just 3-5 minutes doing something related to it that feels slightly challenging but doable. 

After you finish, take a moment to acknowledge it. Even just a quick “I did that” counts.

The goal isn’t perfection or dramatic progress, just consistent practice that proves you can show up for yourself 

It’s Perfect for building confidence, breaking out of a rut, or developing skills you’ve always wanted. It’s especially helpful when you’re feeling stuck. These tiny wins remind you that you’re capable of more than you think.

Keep a simple log of what you practiced each day. Looking back at a week or a month of consistent effort is surprisingly motivating and shows you concrete evidence of your growth.

Daily Hotline Message

Message #304

Veteran’s Day and impact vs intent

I imagine you noticed that I didn’t mention veteran’s day yesterday. That was intentional.

Why?

Because I’m not sure how I feel about my service right now. There’s so much going on in the country right now and much of that involves the military. I don’t want this call to be political but I feel I have some ability to address things that affect the military.

In case you didn’t know it, the National Guard is an integral part of the military. And they have been deployed into cities to exert force against American citizens. And you all know that the administration has said the military – I guess the mean other parts of the military
into the same cities. To keep Americans from protesting amongst other things.

And I guess my biggest problem was the speech to the 800 or so general officers, essentially telling then what they had to think and do.

What do you think “thank you for your service “ really means in light of that possibility

I served for nearly 30 years and took my job and my oath very seriously. I sure didn’t stay all that time for the money. I loved my country and wanted to take care of the others who were protecting me and all Americans. Not attacking them.
I don’t consider this a time for celebration.

Enough on this.

I wanted to mention a phrase I heard the other day that I think all of us can benefit from.

It’s that there is a difference between impact and intent.

How often do you hear someone say “I didn’t mean it” after they did something hurtful or said something hurtful. That’s the intent. But the impact has already occurred. And no matter what the intent was it won’t change that impact.

This is a primary reason for you to take a pause before you react or respond to something someone has said or done.

When you take that pause think about what you want the impact to be. Then you can tailor your response to ensure that you act or talk so that impact you want has a better chance of occurring.

It’s ok to be angry but the key point is not to express that anger in a harmful way.

Can you start practicing that pause ?

Daily Gratitude

Daily Gratitude: I think I heard this a long time ago but just read it again this week and it struck me like a power punch of truth.

Do you have any friends that are a bit “private”? Maybe they aren’t really averse to letting you know something about themselves. They just aren’t used to opening up spontaneously. So when you ask “how are you?” You know you’re going to get the usual response from them. “Fine thanks”

Why not ask specific questions. Something like “how is Jack doing in his new job? Are things any easier for him now?” Now the other person knows what you’re interested in finding out and can respond with a deeper answer.

This takes time. It even took me time to think of a more specific question as an example. But by taking that time I had to decide what I really wanted to know about Jack. Maybe I wanted to know if my friend and Jack were still fighting a lot like they were when Jack was unhappy in his job. Her answer to this question about Jack’s new job might afford her the opportunity to follow on with more info. And she doesn’t, her response and tone of voice might give me a clue as to whether I should probe deeper or just leave that subject alone for the time being.

When you buy something you really want to know more than “what does it cost?” But if you don’t know what matters, then you might end up with a “lemon”. I did. A long long long time ago I was at a car dealer and I saw this convertible that I wanted. All I asked was “how much?” And boy was I sorry. It was the absolute definition of a lemon. But i learned a lot from that experience.

It’s a bit of work but if you are a curious person, it’s well worth it. Figure out what you want to know and then come up with better questions that will help you get there.