Message #304

Veteran’s Day and impact vs intent

I imagine you noticed that I didn’t mention veteran’s day yesterday. That was intentional.

Why?

Because I’m not sure how I feel about my service right now. There’s so much going on in the country right now and much of that involves the military. I don’t want this call to be political but I feel I have some ability to address things that affect the military.

In case you didn’t know it, the National Guard is an integral part of the military. And they have been deployed into cities to exert force against American citizens. And you all know that the administration has said the military – I guess the mean other parts of the military
into the same cities. To keep Americans from protesting amongst other things.

And I guess my biggest problem was the speech to the 800 or so general officers, essentially telling then what they had to think and do.

What do you think “thank you for your service “ really means in light of that possibility

I served for nearly 30 years and took my job and my oath very seriously. I sure didn’t stay all that time for the money. I loved my country and wanted to take care of the others who were protecting me and all Americans. Not attacking them.
I don’t consider this a time for celebration.

Enough on this.

I wanted to mention a phrase I heard the other day that I think all of us can benefit from.

It’s that there is a difference between impact and intent.

How often do you hear someone say “I didn’t mean it” after they did something hurtful or said something hurtful. That’s the intent. But the impact has already occurred. And no matter what the intent was it won’t change that impact.

This is a primary reason for you to take a pause before you react or respond to something someone has said or done.

When you take that pause think about what you want the impact to be. Then you can tailor your response to ensure that you act or talk so that impact you want has a better chance of occurring.

It’s ok to be angry but the key point is not to express that anger in a harmful way.

Can you start practicing that pause ?