Daily Gratitude: We all need a saying like this. It’s a mantra – something you say repeatedly when needed. For instance, use it when you start to berate yourself and hear that voice yelling inside your head “you’re stupid; you’re ugly; who do you think you are; you can’t succeed at this … or anything; etc. Using this mantra/saying/affirmation over and over again will help drown out that negative voice and when said enough will overwrite that same voice. It’s meant to interrupt the pattern of your negative voice. Try this or something similar when you hear that bad self- talk and see what happens after several weeks.

Daily Gratitude: Sometimes we need to just slow down and see what’s around us. The saying I remember most from my Doula training and from Abode is “everything is important; nothing is urgent”. It’s kind of interesting that this would be the most memorable thing for an ER doctor (former ER doc Lol) where everything is urgent at least until proven otherwise. Perhaps it’s just the right time in my life for that to show up. I’ve also been forced to reconcile that life consists of the mundane as well as the “worthy”. Of course the “worth” is determined by that part (IFS) of me that wants to feel special and important and all knowing. Yes, that part that has gotten me into so much trouble all my life. So I have to step back and remind my parts that life is made up of contrast and without the mundane, i wouldn’t be able to do the “special”. Working with my parts has increased quite a bit since I’ve been doing different things and more meaningful things in the past few months (my daily call and my work as a death doula). This is the process. Uncovering and becoming aware of how all my parts are sitting around just waiting for their opportunity to pounce. This is the process and it’s good I’ve slowed that part down. Take some time and ask yourself what you’re concentrating on and concerned about. Do it now.

Daily Gratitude: I think we could be better at this if we didn’t tend to analyze so much. “Why me?” “Why did this happen?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “What did I do wrong?” Etc. If we could just “declare it good” (thanks Catherine Ponder), we could begin to see the good. Sometimes if we just “let go” (another difficult concept for us control people), we will see that this event is actually the best for us. When I was taught to say “Everything always works out for me” in the 80s, i was able to look back at my life and say “oh yeah, I thought this was the worst possible thing that could happen but it actually turned out great.” For example, I would not be writing this (or probably even thinking about it) if i hadn’t torn my ACL playing softball in 1993. One misstep – literally – and my life changed. Did I know that as I was having to be helped off the field? Heck no. I, as with most of us, couldn’t see any further than “darn, I’m done with softball for this year”. I didn’t know all the wonderful things it would lead to. But no matter what happens to you, it’s imperative that you retain the moral character that is “you”. Don’t let things feel so unbearable that you lose sight of all your core values. Be grateful for what you are going through because I guarantee you someone else has it much worse. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past few months it’s that.