Daily Gratitude: Ever wish you hadn’t said “that”? That you were just so upset or angry that the words came out before you even knew it? One of the best talents we can develop is to “bite our tongues” so we allow the initial 90 seconds for the stress chemicals to dissipate. What if we could just keep quiet for 90 seconds? It seems so easy. Like nothing….until you actually see how long 90 seconds seems. How about this for practice- grab a timer or use your phone. Go into the bathroom or anywhere you have a mirror. Try to think of something that gets your dander up. If you can’t get worked up, that’s ok. Try this anyway. Set the timer for 90 seconds. Now stare at yourself and silently repeat a phrase that will help you such as “say nothing for 90 seconds”, “I can hold it”, “it’s only 90 seconds”. What you are practicing is to feel how long those 90 seconds are. It also may help you feel as if you can actually control yourself and that’s the goal. If you can also laugh about it, that will help change your mood as well. Try it!!

Daily Gratitude: Huh? What does this mean? It has to do with the thing I hammer home all the time. Your thoughts create your life. What you put your attention on and think about will come about. This doesn’t mean that if you think about something for the first time today that it will happen tomorrow. It’s a pattern of your thoughts. I know you’ve heard of self-fulfilling prophecies and this is the same thing. Once you develop a list of good things, any time you start thinking negatively, you can move to that list, pick something to concentrate on – switching gears. Get your mind focusing on good things. That’s why I recommend having a success list or even just a “happiness” list. This makes it easy to find something without much effort. Then you can more easily switch your focus. Try this for a day or two and see how it works.

Daily Gratitude: Not only do our fears point us in the direction of the right thing to do but also in the direction of what we need. What lesson are we to learn from this fear? Have you ever asked yourself that question? I haven’t until recently but it’s definitely a valid question. Take for example my “dislike” (an ‘it sounds bette than’ word for fear) of talking on the telephone. What lesson am I supposed to learn from that? Bottom line (after much introspection) is that I have to learn to listen to people’s words without having to have all the other visual clues I’ve always used to “really know” what they were saying. That reflects a measure of distrust (stemming totally from my childhood) and if I remind myself that I’m no longer a child and don’t need all the protective mechanisms I had back then, then it becomes easier to enter into a conversation with someone without having to “examine” all the evidence. If I can reassure those immature parts that are still petty active in me, then I have a chance to show them (and subsequently get them to back off and relinquish their role) that I can handle life without their help. Removing that barrier should enable me to be able to no longer fear the telephone. It sounds simple but it requires delving into the real reason behind some of our thoughts or behaviors. Just ask yourself-“what is the lesson I’m supposed to learn from this fear?”