Daily Gratitude: It seems we’ve lost sight of this. Instead of having each other’s backs, we’re at each other’s backs. We must always remember, though, that we are a tribal species and we are made and programmed to work together. Can you find just one or two other people in your life and work together with them for a short bit. They may not hold all the same ideas you have but if they are people you want to hang around with, then they have some qualities you admire and want to cultivate. Can you and they make a pact to work together on something simple, or at least not controversial? Since politics is the big triggering and dividing topic nowadays what can you bond over that has nothing to do with politics? Make it something you both can actually do something about – maybe it’s helping the unhoused people in your area, or working at a food pantry? Anything in service to others. Focus on what you can do, not the hopeless feelings that accompany the things you have no control over. That way you can actually make a difference and at the same time strengthen the bond and companionship you are fostering. There are many things you have in common. Why not concentrate on those things you can actually influence? You’ll feel better and so will the people you’re working with

Daily Gratitude: My favorite photos are those which have reflections. For some reason they pull me in. Perhaps that’s a reflection (pun intended) on where I am at mentally and emotionally in my life. We often see our thoughts (the mental part) reflected in our actions and emotions. And that’s a good thing. If the water (the usual means by which things are reflected) is still and smooth, there’s a greater likelihood that the reflection will be an accurate one. If, however, there are some – or even just one- ripples on the surface of the water, the reflection will be distorted. The question is how do we know when the surface is rippled? I think we know by the turbulence we’re either experiencing in life’s daily events or in our feelings (such as feeling unsettled or anxious). Those would be indications to me. Then I would enter within (and often that’s a scary proposition) and see if I can figure out what’s the deeper cause of all the turmoil. I have a part (IFS) that wants me to take a nap and causes me to be so sleepy I can’t resist. I am learning that this is a powerful part that doesn’t want me to have to feel and is very afraid that I will start feeling more. But it’s funny. Whenever I try to nap, another part takes over – the tennis player. This part is just hitting balls lobbed to it by the ball machine. It simply keeps tossing thought after thought over the net. This prevents me from sleeping. But guess what, it also prevents me from feeling because I feel like I’m at Wimbledon watching the ball go back and forth- once again not allowing me the time to feel anything. I think that I have to reassure these parts that I have grown (remember they are usually developed when we are young) and can handle feeling things. All this was a verbose way of letting you know that if the waters aren’t still and are showing a less than sharp reflection, it’s time to go within (using whatever method works for you. For me it’s IFS) and see what’s going on inside. Yes someone may have thrown a stone into the water to make it rippled but that stone and that person are part of your experience and they are trying to tell you something too. You just need to listen more.

Daily Gratitude: This is sound advice but often very hard to do. But I do believe that all of us need to spend some time alone so we can rejuvenate and see if we can think about what we are made of and what thoughts are really ours. Otherwise we can’t tell the difference between what we think and what others think. We may not know the difference. We often lose sight of ourselves in the busy world of today, trying to make everyone happy can do that to a person. We’re pulled in so many directions. We have to pull back and assess where we are and what WE think. It’s wise to actually program this into your life schedule.