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Daily Gratitude

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Daily Gratitude: You can imagine how this struck me when I saw it on Pam’s Facebook page. Why? Because I love to walk. And many of my thoughts and ideas have become more defined while walking. I’m slow and unless I’m in a race it doesn’t bother me. Why? Because I see so much and can marvel at nature. The other day I saw the most astounding thing I’d seen in a long time. Don’t get excited- I’m sure you’ll think “geez, you need to get a life Terrie!” I had just been to the botanical gardens with a friend who is brilliant (not just with flowers and plants but in life). She was telling me this and that and part of my brain was trying to remember what she was saying but another part was trying to find the perfect photo. When I got home I decided to go for a long walk (for me right now 7 miles is long) so I headed out on our greenway path. I passed a section that had lots of white flowers blooming. It was beautiful and I don’t remember that many of them being “out” at one time. The next morning I had to walk early and as I passed the same section they appeared to have died. I was bummed out that they had only lasted one day (notice the self-centered aspect here – I had only been back out on that trail for one day so I automatically thought the flowers were only blooming that day. They might have been out for a week for all I knew). I continued on and on my way back 2 hours later they were all blooming AGAIN. wow. “Had new ones shown up or were these the same ones that had maybe hunkered down for the night only to show back up in the sunlight the next day?” I had never noticed this before – my awareness hadn’t been honed in on that phenomenon. why did I notice it then? Because my brain (specifically my RAS, reticular activating system) had been stimulated. I bet you’re yawning right now wondering what that has to do with anything. It has to do with priming the pump. If you have an issue (not necessarily a problem but it can be; or it can be an idea rolling around in your head), think about it for a few minutes before you leave for your walk. This will get the RAS going and you’ll be surprised at what will surface during your walk. Take the time to prime the pump just like I did (unknowingly) by going to the botanical gardens before my walk. See what issues you can solve and what ideas you can come up with. Let us know.

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Daily Gratitude

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Daily Gratitude: Another post on “pain”.  One reason people have trouble embracing the neuroplastic or mind- body approach and understanding of chronic pain is that doctors are kind of “caught in the middle”. It goes way back. Patients want “answers” but they also want fixes – quick fixes. Usually a pill or a shot or even surgery to help them feel and get better – yesterday!  Instant gratification at its finest. So, doctors everything they can to find an answer for you. They do lab and xray and fancy studies. They try to find anything they can to figure out what’s  wrong so you can have an answer (a diagnosis) and they can prescribe a treatment plan.  The majority of patients would NOT accept a diagnosis of neural circuit (or neuroplastic) pain disorder because they would think the doctor was saying it was “all in their head”. As an aside, I feel sorry for the poor old brain because it is the cause of all pain (even when there is some structural abnormality involved, the pain sensation is generated by the brain). It’s not the brain’s fault it happens to reside inside the skull – aka the head.  Anyway, what people who specialize in neuroplastic pain medicine have discovered is that in back pain, for example, the presence of abnormal X-ray findings does NOT automatically correlate with someone’s pain.  I’ve seen many a person with totally normal radiological studies that were completely incapacitated by their back pain. And then I’ve seen the most horrible looking back X-rays in an infantry soldier working full time carrying over 50-100 pounds on his back.  My own recent experience cemented that for me. As part of the evaluation for my fractured clavicle they got X-rays of my shoulder.  This is what the report says: “End-stage glenohumeral (shoulder) osteoarthritis”. So I looked up what this meant: “final phase of a progressive joint disease where the cartilage in the shoulder joint has worn away, causing bones to rub directly against each other. This leads to severe pain, significant loss of movement and function, and a grinding or clicking sensation.”  So what you’re asking? Well I may have some clicking at times but I have great use of my shoulder (well at least I did before this injury and intend to after it’s healed too). I do weight training and have no problems with my daily activities.  This is a perfect example of how the findings don’t always correlate with your symptoms. You have to look beyond the obvious, digging deeper into the well – the well of the mind! If you do, you’ll have a much better chance of recovering than if you just stick to X-ray or lab findings.  Don’t blame your doctor though. Patients don’t accept this so they have learned to look for something everyone will believe 

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Daily Gratitude

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Daily Gratitude: You know how things show up in your life just when you need them? This quote is one of those times. I had just been reading a book on the brain and chronic pain and the chapter I was reading was about personality traits that seem to be consistent among people who develop chronic pain. As I delved deeper into the chapter something happened in my brain. It was as if I was a manikin loaded up with all of last year’s clothing piled on my body. There must have been some sort of shakeup because all of a sudden those old clothes began to fall off and I could see the smooth white skin of the manikin. This translates this way. It’s been a few weeks of trying to decide if I was going to go to Colorado in 2 days (that would be a little over 3 weeks since my injury). From somewhere deep within came a theoretical voice (and it might have been a real voice since my parts can get loud). This was the question I heard “what do you really want, Terrie?” And the answer came as quickly “I don’t want to go. I’m still having pain and when I up my activity just a bit, the pain increases. Plus I’m still fairly tired even though that’s getting better.” Simple, right? Not at all. So many things had been piled up on that manikin that I couldn’t see what was underneath (that I didn’t feel safe going). My parts were having a war and they didn’t invite me. However this situation has made me realize that when I think I’m just “being a Libra” by not being able to decide on something, that it means my parts are polarized (opposite points of view) and I need to pay attention. There was the “show them how strong and independent you are” part; the FOMO part that was also living in the past (“what if something is said that would help me know more about chronic pain? Last years conference was fantastic. I don’t want to miss out on anything”); the bored part (“I’m tired of waiting for this to heal. It’s better every day so maybe I can drive 1000 miles each way even though I really just have one functional arm”); I will miss seeing my friend and we’ve been planning this for months now. 96% of these things are fear or hope based without regard for how things are. I’m almost 77 years old and not a spring chicken anymore. I am a doctor and should know that there is a better chance of healing completely if I allow my body to heal the right way. I’m no longer in practice so it’s not going to hurt my patients by missing out on the conference. And I surely don’t want to create an environment for me to develop chronic pain after this heals. As far as my friend is concerned, I can go visit him another time. It was nice that he lives near Boulder and easy for us to meet but it’s not the last time I could drive up there. I’m still sad but I think all my parts have been heard (maybe not since there are so many) so my decision is made. It doesn’t feel great but it feels safer and if I feel safer then my brain will too and that will help the healing.