Perspective is so important in our lives. You might say we need to have the proper perspective on perspective. Sorry, I know that was bad but it's early in the morning.

We have to be able to step back and objectively evaluate things so we can respond and react appropriately. If we don't take an objective look, some minor problem may be turned into a monster and you'll be wrapped up in worry and angst and "oh my what now". That is bad enough but the real issue is that when you get so wrapped up in things, you lose a large amount of your problem solving ability because your brain interprets your response as danger and then will start spewing out all the stress chemicals that decrease the blood flow to your frontal cortex - the problem solving area. That's one reason you can possibly look back at some of your decisions and go "why on earth did I do that? I know better." You know better but not when you're in that heightened arousal state. 

It's interesting that I found multiple definitions of perspective and I encourage you to check them out yourself. The ones I thought were most perplexing were  those that had something like this (from Merriam-Webster): "the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance." Why did I find it perplexing? Because this implies that each  of us knows the true relations or relative importance. That begs the question - relative importance to whom?

Regardless of what the strict definition is, I found this definition/discussion at vocabulary.com to be the most telling: 
"Your perspective is the way you see something. If you think that toys corrupt children's minds, then from your perspective a toy shop is an evil place."

Can you practice evaluating and maybe even changing your perspective and seeing what things look like from the other side? Or at least see if it feels as if there is a difference.

Two examples:
- It's been very cold here in Texas (it was in the 20s with single digit wind-chill) last week. This is NOT normal for southern Texas. Add to that that my heater was broken until yesterday, I was cold for 5 days. So, yesterday I looked at the temp as I got ready to go for my walk (I skipped two of the 5 days because of the cold) and thought "wow 46 degrees - that's pretty good. I don't need to bundle up as much." I even noticed that the trees were blowing so I checked the wind-chill and there was none according to the app. 

Out I went and I have to tell you that 46 degrees is NOT that warm unless you're in the direct sun which i was at times and not at other times. Two weeks ago i would have been shivering at the thought of 46 degrees. But since we'd had 5 days of REALLY cold weather with "numbers" of 20, the "number" 46 seemed downright warm. What a difference two weeks made in my perspective. I think that the 5 days of being really cold even inside added to that change in perspective. Once I went outside I realized how wrong my perspective had been. 

Wouldn't it be great if we could recognize that some of our problems are based on poor perspective in life? As I have said many times, awareness is the key.

- This goes back to Vol State last year but it's still a prime example. We are all out there feeling miserable because it's hot, we have blisters or sore feet and muscles or whatever. But we're out there being miserable VOLUNTARILY. Along comes this wonderful grandmother (Mary) and tells us about the tragic loss of her granddaughter, Emma, who had been a road angel for us for several years. The agony Mary was experiencing was palpable and it was certainly NOT Voluntary. It immediately changed my perspective on how "tough" i had it either for those 10 days or in life. That change in perspective allowed me to experience the rest of the adventure knowing how very fortunate I was, no matter what hurt. 

For those of you who are old enough to remember Susan Boyle's entry into the world of fame - she was thought of as a simpleton and then as a brilliant singer, then as a selfish woman and then her disability was revealed and it explained all of what had been happening. Each time something else had occurred we had a different perspective on her (which, by the way, was none of our business anyway but for some reason we always have to judge others especially those who have made something of themselves). When we found out about her condition that put everything else we had judged into its proper perspective. 

What can we learn from all this? First and most obvious is that we shouldn't judge people or events unless we are intimate with the facts and even then, what good does judging them do? Secondly, make sure you get all the facts before you think you can "see" the whole picture. Remember that there are always second and third order effects to everything. So, someone might not have made a decision you think is right but stop and ask yourself whether there could be other factors in play that you're not aware of. Factors, perhaps, that would lead even you to make that other decision. 

Why not just stick to trying to put your own life in perspective. How bad is it that your internet went out but you are warm and cozy and well fed. Try thinking about the people who have no homes or who have to choose between paying the utility bill and buying food. How bad is your internet being out now?

Can you look back on your life and see any events where your perspective might have been wrong and skewed your response/reaction to something?

Do you have a "go to" memory box? 

It's a list of all the wonderful memories you have. I put it on my phone so it's always handy. 

It's just a list of things that have meant so much to me in my life. "What good is a list and what do you do with it?"

Things don't always go right in our lives. Or better put, they don't always go as we'd like them to. Why not have a collection of "toys" you can go play with when you're feeling down? That collection of toys is your memory list.

I've written down (and continue to add to it) as many of the happy times and memories I have. During tough times or when I'm tired or need an uplift, I look at my list and pick a memory to relive. It does amazing things to and for your brain. It will help release endorphins and oxytocin all of which will elevate your mood. 

Here's two examples:

- Saturday when I finally turned on the heat, I discovered it wasn't working. I called my friend for help. Then it worked but conked out again. Instead of panicking over something I can't control (remember yesterday's lesson), I just let it go and told myself that it would get fixed eventually. But I didn't just stop there. The friend I called was the grandson of my neighbor who moved away in October and whom I still miss so much. That, of course, brought back memories of Steve. Instead of moping about how much I missed him, i remembered how he organized a block party for me two nights before I left on my trek and how much fun we all had. That got me out of any funk pretty quickly.

- At Across the Years in December when I was having those 5 days of pain, in addition to using the pain reprocessing tools I have learned, I thought about my favorite memory of all time. It was the last presentation I ever gave while I was working and I knocked it out of the park. I was flying high by the time that was over. It was as if I had been taken over by Steve Jobs or someone who amazes audiences for a living. The feeling I had at the end of that is one I've never experienced before or since. Reliving that memory helped pull me out of the pain pit as I made the laps at the race and helped me get to the point where the pain finally left. 

It's so simple:

1) Make a list of these memories

2) Keep the list on an index card or on a readily available file in your phone

3) When you're in need of any sort of lift, pull out the card and pick a memory

4) Actually try to do time travel and return to the memory and feel as if you're in it again. 

5) Watch what it does for your  mood! It's magic