I hope I don't lose track of the numbers but so far so good - after all, it's only the second week..lol
This lesson probably should have been number 1 it's so important and it's one I just came across last year and am still working hard on it. I know I've probably already talked about it in multiple posts. It's just that important.
We must realize there are things we can control and things we can't control. I know I have spent a great deal of my life focusing on the things I can't control - the past and the future for instance. The past is over and done so it's only good for providing fun memories to use for joy and for learning lessons. The future hasn't come yet and we really can't control the outcome of much of anything (that we discussed in process over outcome last week).
So what can we control? Our actions and our response to things in the here and now. Worry does no good and changes nothing. I have spent a great part of my life in the worry game and I have never won. Predicting the future never works because we don't have that ability despite how hard we try. Why have i wasted so much time and energy on these things before last year. I think some of it is because we need to feel in control and instead of working to control the right now, we want to try to control everything else. I also think it depends on our upbringing. My father and mother were polar opposites. My father was sure there was something terminal happening every time my mother sighed whereas my mother never worried about anything. I, unfortunately, took after my father in this one.
How do you change your behavior?
1 - Be aware of this concept! Now that you've read this post, you are aware. See how easy that was?
2 - Make a list of all the things in your life and put them into two columns. One column is those things you can control. The second column is those things you cannot control. Example: Editing my book - I can control People buying my book - I can't control People liking my book - I can't control Being happy the book is done - I can control Considering myself a success when it's done - i can control Being successful with the book - i can't control Training for vol state - i can control Finishing vol state - i can't control Living another 20 years - I can't control Being happy every day of however long i have left - i can control Leaving for work on time (if i were still working) - i can control because i don't have any family to take care of Getting to work on time - i can't control (unless because of the pandemic i was working at home). Getting everything on my grocery list - i can't control (there are supply shortages or the store may be out) Looking for everything on my grocery list - I can control but just because i look doesn't mean I'll be able to get something. etc.
I would write down everything that happens in your life or that you want to happen. The two years I missed vol state because of illness i didn't plan on nor could i foresee. If i had been focused just on being in the race (which is exactly where i was mentally) i would (and did) spend a lot of energy on "wishing it were so". What I planned on didn't happen and instead of focusing on the process (something I could control) and take pleasure in that, i was focused on the future (which i couldn't control) and was terribly disappointed and let down when it didn't happen.
Once you've made the list hang it up and when you find yourself focusing on anything, either look at the list or ask yourself "is this something I can control?" If it is, then go all out on it. If it isn't, you have to let it go. That is the hard part because we always want to change something that is not up to us. But practicing it with small things will help you do it with the big ones.
This will give you so much more time and energy that you'll be surprised. Try it out for a week or so and see what happens.
