Daily Gratitude: You’ve heard me quote people like Brian Cain before. He says “It’s the start that stops most people”. If you look back over your life I think you’ll agree. I know that I agonize over having to make a phone call and put it off forever. But then, when I finally do it, I sit back and say to myself “that wasn’t so bad. Why do these things give you such trouble, Terrie?” My answers are always pretty similar but that’s not the point. The point is that putting off doing this one simple task was much more painful than actually doing it. You’d think I would remember that for next time and be able to overcome that procrastination but I can’t. It’s something that at least now i am attentive to and do work around (with my parts) instead of just ignoring that the problem exists. Did you ever have a good idea and thought “I would like to do x,y, or z?” But then never do it? Do you ask yourself why you never did it? I think that’s one of the most valuable questions we can ask ourselves – why? Why did we or why didn’t we do something. You can learn so much about yourself if you ponder that. Make a list of the things you want to do. Not necessarily a bucket list but a list of lots of things you think you could and would do that would be useful or fun. Now next to each write out why you haven’t done them yet OR what’s holding you back from doing them now or at least planning to do them. What is this list of “reasons” (or excuses) telling you? Thats the real key information you need to address. It will reveal so much about you and how your mind works. Try it.

Daily Gratitude: How often do we NOT do something because we’re concerned about (afraid of) what other people will think? All too often, I think. When you get to my age, you’d think I’d realize that no matter what you say or do, some people are going to criticize or complain. Does that make them right and you wrong? Why do we even think of it that way instead of “am I right and they’re wrong?” Why do we question ourselves more than we question another person, even those we barely know? Have you ever thought about that? “Why am I putting so much stock in what this person I just met thinks?” What happens when you ask yourself that? Why do you keep questioning yourself, especially without any specific evidence proving you’re wrong? If you must analyze things, examine why you decided x, y, or z. What is the basis of your opinion. If you’re darn sure that your facts match up with all the evidence then it shouldn’t matter what others say. Stop questioning yourself based solely on another’s thoughts and ideas. When you decide something, make sure your facts are solid and your conclusion is as well and then refuse to engage in argument unless you consider that other person a mentor and an expert. But any Joe Blow off the street is probably not a mentor or an expert. You don’t need someone else’s approval to have your idea. Stick with it …. Or revise it if you have GOOD reason to do so. Those other people are most likely not as smart as you are.

Daily Gratitude: It is surprising how often we forget that we have a relationship with ourselves. We spend so much time worrying about how we relate to others and what others think of us that we have no time to work on what’s going on inside of us. I found this absence of a close relationship with myself to be particularly detrimental during my recent vol state race. Even though the first few days I was ahead of the cutoff (Oprah), I felt I was failing and doing poorly. What I was doing was comparing this year’s results to last years. I know better than to compare what I do with how anyone else does. That took a long time to learn but I’m much better at it now. But I never even thought about what would happen if I compared myself TO myself. It was a disaster but it was more of a subtle and subconscious disaster. I was doing it without even realizing it. I may (probably) have done this all my life but it was never as pronounced as during this race. When I compared myself to myself I also made the mistake of using last year’s results. Had I compared this year’s performance to the other years, I might not have felt so hopeless. But last year was unique and I did well. So using that for comparison was almost like picking an outlier to compare to. Take time to evaluate yourself and your expectations. Are you thinking about how you used to be or things you used to do? That may be fine for nostalgia and memory lane but if you’re trying to be in the present moment, stop it right now. You aren’t the same you you were even 6 months ago – physiologically, mentally or emotionally so there is no comparison. What would you tell a friend or a child if you saw them doing the same thing? Once you figure that out, go find a mirror and repeat it to yourself. Then you will be talking to you and you can work on that relationship right there in the mirror!