Daily Gratitude: Boy, is this right on for me. I am having to be flexible and the resistance my soul is feeling is massive. It’s a good thing I know a fair amount about resistance. Being a death doula now and a volunteer at Abode, I’m finding my schedule has to be altered. “What? I have to do what, when? How am I going to train for Vol State? But what about….” So I’m remembering my why for each of the things on my plate; I’m remembering I juggled quite a lot more before I retired; I’m telling myself to let go and it will feel so much easier. When something is worth it to you (you have a deep why), you can find a way. Don’t expect that discovery process to be quick or easy but it will happen. Just have faith…and keep your “why” way up front. Write out all your “why’s” and post them on your mirrors and fridge and anywhere you look frequently. Embedding this in your mind will help ease the resistance and sooner or later you’ll wonder what the fuss was all about.

Daily Gratitude: One thing I’m noticing even in my early stages of working with people at the end of life is how many are lonely. But it is also a “dis-ease” I’m seeing in those who have lost someone or something close. I think loneliness has its own pandemic features. We all need to be aware of it, not just in ourselves but in others. It’s a responsibility we, as humans, have. It seems that when people need companionship and visitation most is when they are most abandoned. Being a death doula is so much more than being a doctor. Both are essential. But now if I can just help someone be a little less lonely at the time they need it the most, I will have done a good thing. The key point here, though, is that all of us can help with this issue. It requires no special training, talent or skills (well, listening is a skill) to just be with someone. I became a death doula because I don’t want people to die alone. It’s their own personal foxhole of sorts and I want to hunker down in it with them, hold their hand and let them know that they can leave this world loved. Wouldn’t you want that at your end? Why not pay it forward and help people who are lonely. Be there with them; don’t just tell them you’re there for them. They may never ask. Be proactive and when you spot someone with this affliction, let them know you see it and they aren’t a leper in your eyes. Tell them you’re going to be there with them, not just for them. Be persistent because they are afraid and don’t want to impose or be a burden. Slow your life down so you can tend to them.

Daily Gratitude: So this morning I discovered the perfect way to practice patience. And I have used this technique several times, just not with the intent of practicing patience. The customer service chat system is good for a) people like me who have an aversion to phone calls and b) keeping people far away from anyone they might harm. However, it is certainly not speedy or what I would call efficient. Type, wait, read, sigh, type, wait, read, swear, sigh, type…. I feel the various responses are meant to measure how much you really want a refund or return or just to vent. I’ve been tempted to just “suck it up” regarding a fee many times after waiting in the chat queue forever. It definitely pays to have another activity close by….but beware that you need to respond to the “person” in a certain time period. Proper preparation for this experience includes more than just having your order info ready. Clear your calendar, do some yoga, and many rounds of breathing exercises. Oh and don’t worry if you don’t know any deep breathing exercises because you’ll have plenty of time to look them up on YouTube while waiting.