Daily Gratitude: I can tell you from personal experience that this is so true. Way too often we “decide” what needs to happen if something is to go as it should. Yet, who died and named us king (or queen). We do not know how everything is supposed to align in the universe. Indeed, if we believe in a universal power – no matter what name you give it – we have to laugh at ourselves thinking we know how everything is supposed to fit together; how all the pieces of the puzzle should drop into place. Most of the time we can’t even keep our own lives in good working order. “I have faith” we say. But then we set about deciding exactly how everything should work and how everyone should act. Faith is actually letting go. Now, I’m not proclaiming to be able to do this as you can tell from recent posts. But at least I do understand my hypocrisy, not that that will do me any good. I think my failure to let go (have faith) is an even worse “sin” because I’ve seen this quote work perfectly in my life. I’m sure I told you that I wanted to be a neurosurgeon for about the same time as i was told I was going to be a doctor (but that’s another story). Then when I was 21 I developed epilepsy. As you can imagine, there went any hopes of becoming a neurosurgeon or any kind of surgeon. I then took various detours in my career, trying this road, then that road and finally ending up in a field that was home for me. I finished 26 years on that one path after floundering around trying other things. And you know what? I’m glad I got epilepsy. Why? 1) because it, along with being fat and being a smoker, helped me understand my patients better. 2) this was a place where I could help thousands more than I could if I had gone into neurosurgery. It was also a much better fit for my personality. In every way it was the best. Had I maintained control, I would have lost out on this opportunity and perhaps been unhappy all my life. Who knows. But what I do know is that I ended up in a place where I could do good and the people I met as I traveled this path impacted my life in phenomenal ways. So, even though it’s hard, try to just have true faith and know that the universe really does have your back. Let the universe be the quarterback and you be the receiver. You’ll be happy you did.

Daily Gratitude: This comes from the great race director and ultra running legend, Lazarus Lake. It’s something that I have to remember as I move through life and wish I’d known before. It makes perfect sense but we’re often taught as children that making mistakes is a horrible thing, a sin, a disaster. The primary learning we get at that point is to be afraid and to try to be perfect “next time”. At that age (and many times it’s at any age) we don’t know that perfection is impossible to attain. Therefore, trying to be perfect is a no-win situation. Often when we’re being yelled at for making that mistake, we’re not being told how to avoid it. We’re just being criticized for doing something wrong. No one calmly takes us by the hand, saying “if you do x or y, it’s more likely you’ll get result z than p”. Wouldn’t that be much more beneficial? So it’s no wonder we beat ourselves up when we make a mistake. However, it is much better for us to say “oh yeah, I messed that up…..BECAUSE I did a and c but forgot b. If I had added b in there AND put them all in the right order, this wouldn’t have happened. Great. Now I know what to do.” Isn’t that more useful than berating ourselves. I think we should be grateful for the mistakes we make because they teach us more. I’m certainly not advocating going out and intentionally making mistakes but when they do happen, celebrate them and learn what you’re supposed to be learning.

I will not become an obstacle to myself

Daily Gratitude: This is something I have to work more on. It makes so much sense but my ever busy mind often decides it “knows better” and takes off thinking the most horrible things it can come up with. Can you identify with that? As I get ready to leave for Tennessee on Sunday, everything has seemed to be wrong. In my mind (and therefore in my body). I always knew (intellectually) how powerful my mind was but now I am experiencing it full on. It has taken a rather small symptom and definitely turned that molehill into a mountain. As I watch it do all these gyrations of “it could be this; it could be that; should I go or should I skip the race? What if this; what if that?”, I am in awe not only of its ability to make symptoms come and go but also of the impact my dysfunctional nervous system still has – despite the intense work I’ve done for all these years. The only difference is that at least now I can recognize what’s happening. That is a big step. I know all this is based on fear. Can i, at 76, do this grueling race again? Can I possibly endure the heat and sleep deprivation to make it 314 miles again? But the fear is even deeper than that and I must work through it to identify it. Others might say “oh just use affirmations and cute sayings and you’ll be fine.” But although those things may mask the fear for a bit, it’s still deep within and will resurface at another time. That’s the problem I have with acronyms and cute sayings. They are simply masked men swooping in to save the day …. but what about the rest of the year? Anyway, enough rambling. I just wanted to let you know that despite everything I write every day, I am not pontificating, just learning along with all of you!