I was trying to use a politically correct word, “despise”, rather than express how I really feel..ha ha

I used to get excited when I’d see someone post a “30 Day Challenge”. Then every time I turned around, there was another one. The challenge became NOT getting hooked on them.

Aside from them being just another fad (in my opinion), I never finished one because they were too hard for me. Even if they started out easy (although they rarely did), the next day and then the next got way beyond me. I just gave up because I couldn’t do what “they” prescribed. Also, i really didn’t know where it was going to take me. Despite all the hype, it generally takes more than 30 days for a habit to be really embedded and new neural circuits to be created.

I just didn’t have a real “why” other than it seemed like “maybe this time it’ll stick” – alas, it never does.

We say we like challenges and at some point we probably do but I really don’t like that word. If I had to pick one instead, it would be “accomplish” or “accomplishment”.

The idea is to figure out what you want to do in general terms, like “get fit” or “write a book” or whatever you want. Then, break it down into really really small pieces. Why? Isn’t that too tiny to motivate you? That’s the point. You want to be able to do it every day whether you’re motivated or not. To say “I’m going to run 5 miles every day” might not be doable EVERY day, especially if you’re just starting. I’ve talked about chunking in my book and I use it all the time, especially in long races. I just have to make it out the door (unless I’m at a race, then it’s assumed I made it out the door). That is a win, an accomplishment. Tomorrow I also have to make it out the door, not bump up higher like most of the “challenges” do. For many (including and especially me), just getting out the door can be a challenge.

The point to all of this is that if you’re going to engage in (or even promote) a “challenge”, it needs to be customized to fit your situation. And it needs to be something you will do every day – that’s why it has to be so easy. Good book is Mini-Habits by Stephen Guise. Excellent ideas.

Have a “challenging” (whatever that means to you) day!

 I’ve been wanting to write about this for the longest time. Today seemed fitting for two reasons:
1) My question of the day was “who are the most influential people in my life and why?”, and
2) She was just recently recognized with a very special award by an Australian Ultra Running Association (I’m sure I have the name wrong).

So what is it about Marie that makes her so important to me?

I met her in 2013 at my first 72 hour race. We passed each other many times and I had a wonderful opportunity to watch her in action, both as an ultrarunner and as a human being. I was in awe of both.

the next time we ran into each other was at Across the Years (don’t remember if it was 2013 or 2014 but it doesn’t matter). She helped me by getting me water and by cheering me on. Another glimpse into this very elite runner and woman.

Since then we’ve been “friends” and then friends (that’s what happens sometimes with Facebook friends). I think the transition came on “Day 5” – that’s what we affectionately call the 2 days (or was it more) that she spent crewing me in my attempted trek across the US. She drove for hours to come help me and endured worse conditions perhaps than even I did. Without her, I would not have been able to get very far in California because the police would not have let me pass with my cart. And that same day, she stood in the pouring rain to wait for me at periodic stops to feed me and make sure i was ok. She even spotted a crisis and came to the rescue. The expensive rain jacket I started with got holes on the first day and by the time I was with Marie, I was soaked and freezing. She sped off to find a sports store where she got me a perfect rain jacket that I still use today. I couldn’t have asked for better support. You might think that this has made me biased and maybe it has but I bet if you ask anyone else about her, they will agree with all i write here.

She is always engaged and supportive. It’s obvious she cares about people and what they are going through. Her nursing experience shows through in almost every interaction – and I don’t mean by offering medical advice, although that is always spot on too. But nurses are the ones who help patients heal. Doctors just write down things they think will help, but it’s the nurses who get the patients to understand and to buy-in to the diagnosis, the prognosis and helps them find the motivation to do what they have to help the miraculous machine they inhabit get well. Nurses are the ones who spend 98% of the time with the patient. They can make or break any medical encounter. In order to do that they have to have compassion and understanding. They have to recognize that everyone is different and comes from different circumstances and they have to adjust all their discussions to each individual. They don’t have biases or if they do, they never let it show. They don’t judge people. They help people and are there for them.

I could go on and on about nurses and maybe I should in another post. But that’s just the flavor for you to know how Marie is with every single person I’ve seen her interact with. This is not to say she’s a pansy. That is most definitely NOT the case. and that’s one of the other things I admire about her – She is the most gentle tough person I’ve ever met. It’s hard to be both but she has mastered the entire range of resilience.

She never complains or if she does, she is not really complaining. She only opens her mouth when she has a solution to what isn’t sitting well with her. This is a unique quality. Her solutions are also unique because they involve do-able things, not pie in the sky ideas like “well, if the government did this, we wouldn’t have that”. I remember two years ago we were having dinner and the portions were monstrous. She had really practical ideas about that and told several people but not in a nosy, busy body way. She approaches everyone as if they are doing their best and she just wants to share something. To watch the reception of this mannerism is better than watching Netflix.

She’s extremely good at giving individual advice WITH alternatives, knowing that a) people are different and b) many people’s automatic response is rejection or excuse. Since she knows that and doesn’t judge it, she comes at the problem from multiple directions with many variables. This ensures that if someone really wants help, they have an array of choices. If asked for elaboration, she’s there with studies, evidence or just admits it’s worked for her and others she’s known even if they don’t know why.

You never know when things are rough for her. She doesn’t want to burden others with that information. She is strong physically, emotionally, and mentally.

I tried pretty hard to find something negative or something about her that I wouldn’t want to cultivate in my life. I could find NOTHING.

 I bet you expected me to put a question here, didn’t you?

Well, the question is just “what is YOUR question of the day?”

I’ve adopted a new practice of deciding each morning what would be an important question for me to ponder that day. Not something like “oh my, what should I wear today?” but a more in depth type of question.

Before you groan and mutter “I don’t have time to spend on answering a dumb vague question”, hear me out.

I’m not suggesting you spend time contemplating your question as you contemplate your navel, although feel free to do that.

What I am saying is to simply take a minute or two to look beyond the day and think of a question that involves your life in general. Just come up with question, write (or type) it down and then let it sit in your mind. You don’t have to do anything else on a conscious level. Your brain is powerful enough it can ponder this while keeping you breathing, your blood flowing and your kids picked up. You may never officially answer the question. But the seed will be planted.

Try it for a day or two and see what comes up.

Here’s some examples:

“Do I want to continue doing all these long distance runs and more importantly train for them or is it time for me to move on to something else.” Notice i didn’t even include any question about “what else” might there be.

“Am I doing what I want to be doing most of the time? How do I feel about my days?” Ok so that’s two questions. You can make it one just by sticking an “and” in there.

“Is there something I really want to do before I die?”

“Are there people I need and want to make amends with?”

“What is my strongest quality?”

“What is my greatest weakness?”

“Who is someone that I know and really admire and why?” See, there, i put the “and” in.

“What subjects would I like to learn more about?”

“Can I sit still or do I have to be busy all the time?”

There are so many things we can ask our inner selves to think about. I imagine you’ll be surprised if you do this for awhile. You’ll most likely find yourself wanting to do more and live your life to a greater degree. Or maybe to give more to other people. Or, you may realize how happy you are with what you have and you don’t want to change anything. Only you will know the results.