Daily Gratitude: One thing I’m noticing even in my early stages of working with people at the end of life is how many are lonely. But it is also a “dis-ease” I’m seeing in those who have lost someone or something close. I think loneliness has its own pandemic features. We all need to be aware of it, not just in ourselves but in others. It’s a responsibility we, as humans, have. It seems that when people need companionship and visitation most is when they are most abandoned. Being a death doula is so much more than being a doctor. Both are essential. But now if I can just help someone be a little less lonely at the time they need it the most, I will have done a good thing. The key point here, though, is that all of us can help with this issue. It requires no special training, talent or skills (well, listening is a skill) to just be with someone. I became a death doula because I don’t want people to die alone. It’s their own personal foxhole of sorts and I want to hunker down in it with them, hold their hand and let them know that they can leave this world loved. Wouldn’t you want that at your end? Why not pay it forward and help people who are lonely. Be there with them; don’t just tell them you’re there for them. They may never ask. Be proactive and when you spot someone with this affliction, let them know you see it and they aren’t a leper in your eyes. Tell them you’re going to be there with them, not just for them. Be persistent because they are afraid and don’t want to impose or be a burden. Slow your life down so you can tend to them.

Daily Gratitude: So this morning I discovered the perfect way to practice patience. And I have used this technique several times, just not with the intent of practicing patience. The customer service chat system is good for a) people like me who have an aversion to phone calls and b) keeping people far away from anyone they might harm. However, it is certainly not speedy or what I would call efficient. Type, wait, read, sigh, type, wait, read, swear, sigh, type…. I feel the various responses are meant to measure how much you really want a refund or return or just to vent. I’ve been tempted to just “suck it up” regarding a fee many times after waiting in the chat queue forever. It definitely pays to have another activity close by….but beware that you need to respond to the “person” in a certain time period. Proper preparation for this experience includes more than just having your order info ready. Clear your calendar, do some yoga, and many rounds of breathing exercises. Oh and don’t worry if you don’t know any deep breathing exercises because you’ll have plenty of time to look them up on YouTube while waiting.

Daily Gratitude: We can learn so much from trees. On my walks, I often stop and gaze at them. They have such wondrous patterns, as group as well as individually. I’ll see many trees leaning in one direction and you know that the wind normally comes through in the same direction and forcefully. The trees have adapted and their trunks have moved so that their bushy tops (branches and leaves) are not blown off. They are not feeling “self-conscious” and aren’t worried what other trees will think of them. They are surviving and in most cases thriving. Just like the trees, we have to be flexible and bend and sway when necessary. Often we try to keep straight upright and feel we’re not supposed to bend. Once we realize that bending and swaying is a sign of intelligence and strength, it becomes easier. How does this apply in your life?