Daily Gratitude: This is something I wish i knew, or rather, understood when I was younger. I only had two waves – hurt and anger. And of course, the anger was simply my defense against having to feel the hurt. My parts reacted to everything as a criticism and thus were hurt by everything. I was raised never to let anyone see what was going on inside of me. I was also raised under the cloak of constant anger. That was just how you were supposed to be. It’s taken me a long time to understand that most of our instantaneous reactions are physiological and not something I can (or should want to) control. What I should want to control, however, is my RESPONSE to those reactions. That is something i can (and should) control. I like to look at is as chemicals create the reactions and thoughts create the responses. I may not be able to do anything about the chemicals but i sure can do something about the thoughts. It takes practice – a lot of practice to undo (I like to call it editing) the automatic thoughts I learned to have. But it is possible. If you monitor your thoughts and then evaluate them, it will help. Ask yourself “is this a positive or negative thought?” “Where did it come from?” “Is it something I’ve just ‘practiced’ so much it’s automatic (meaning has it just become a conditioned response?)?” Once you’ve answered these questions and I recommend you start with something simple, ask yourself how you can change those thoughts to serve you better. Then practice thinking them – as stupid as it sounds. Do you think that I automatically believed “everything always works out for me” when I first started to say it? Heck no. But because I so respected the woman who taught me this and so much more, I kept saying it. Do I believe it now? You bet! But it was just through practice that I came to believe it. You can do the same by practicing the things you want to turn around. As I said, though, start with simple things and then work your way up. Record your progress too so you can see what has worked for you.