Daily Gratitude: I think this is something that’s smacking us in th face almost every day right now. Given the divide in our country it’s almost impossible to “win” an argument. I put that in quotes for a reason. Before you open your mouth, you should step back, take a deep breath and define what “win” means to you. Do you just want the other person to shout out to the world “oh, now I see the light! You’re right and my beliefs have been wrong all this time!”? Or are you seeking to understand the other person’s viewpoint and would like them to understand yours too. Ask “what do I want – for me, for the other person and for the relationship?” If you want to change the other person, good luck with that. Remember that you can only control the controllables. Other people are not within your controllables. And especially with the current climate. Once you know that, ask yourself why you’re even bothering to engage them. I may be a pessimist (although I look at it as just facing reality) but I don’t think that even the best on the debate team could influence someone of the opposite persuasion nowadays. I also know I would get frustrated by that person’s “hardheadedness”. Of course I’m sure I’m just as hardheaded to them. Even if the answer to “what do you want for them” is “ to help them see the right way”, you must step back and say “who am I to determine what the ‘right’ way is? I’m not God. I can only seek to understand why they feel as they do. So I’ll be on my best behavior finding that out even though I doubt either of us will change our minds.” Tell us about any such conversations you’ve had.