Message 348

“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy”
This was said by a woman named Nightbirde

I waste a lot of time watching the short movie reels on facebook but Tuesday I saw three that changed my perspective on everything. This, this wasn’t wasted time.

Nightbirde (the author of the above quote) was performing on America’s Got Talent. At the time she was on, she had a 2% chance of survival with active cancer. She said “Two percent is not 0%. Two percent is something, and I wish people knew how amazing it is,”

She sang a song called “it’s ok”. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house – nor in my house. I was also impressed by the fact she went to the audition alone. She had courage oozing out of every pore.

Hers is the first verse of her song :
I moved to California in the summer time
I changed my name thinking that it would change my mind
I thought that all my problems they would stay behind
I was a stick of dynamite and it was just a matter of time, yeah
Oh, dang, oh, my, now I can’t hide
Said I knew myself but I guess I lied

The second was a performance by a young girl (I think she was 18 or 19) who had endured many years of bullying. The bullying led to self harming. She used an eraser on her skin trying to erase herself from everything. But there she was up on stage. The courage she showed standing up there risking ridicule and rejection was overwhelming.

These third was a young woman who had a speech disability but it disappeared when she sang.

They all stood up in front of the judges, the audience and millions of others watching on tv. Tell me again what you’re afraid of?

These three young women represent the strength and courage I aspire to. Following on Frank Somma’s concept of having a motto for the year, I don’t know how I’m going to put it into words yet but I know these women will be my role models in everything I do in 2026. I hope I can come up with a motto that fits.

You have the strength and courage Dig deep and pull them out whenever you feel scared or nervous. You’re not being bullied, people most likely don’t make fun of the way you talk and you probably have more than a 2% chance of survival so what’s holding you back?

message 346

Is it really better to give than to receive?

Dr. Gilbert talks about this but is it true that it’s better to give than to receive?

Why don’t you try it this Christmas season….but don’t make it about Christmas only.

So many people are hurting all year round. Can you make a deal with yourself to give to someone or some cause at least once a month for the coming year. That’s only 12 times you have to go out of your way to help someone. you can do it anonymously if you want.

What does it feel like? I will tell you that it feels like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. A friend of mine posted a GoFundMe link for her nephew who had lost everything in a fire. Everything. Take a moment right now. Close your eyes. and think of what your life would look like if that were you. What is “everything” for you. Sure, things like clothes and appliances can be replaced fairly easily (if people help you out) but what are those things you have that cannot be replaced? What would you do? How would you feel? I bet it would feel awfully isolated.

Then imagine how you’d feel if someone came up to you and said “come with me. you can stay at my house until you get some stuff straightened out.”

What a relief. What pressure would be lifted. Just from a simple gesture. Or maybe someone said “i can help you with your meals during this transition time. My religious group will be happy to help take some of the responsibility off your shoulders.”

Just thinking about all you have to do to start again is overwhelming. sure, maybe you’re a resilient one who knows you can overcome anything. But that doesn’t eliminate the immense weight of it all happening at once. There’s no time even to figure out step by step. Unless you have people who will help.

I was able to help this young man and his family with a donation. They don’t live near so that’s all i was able to do from afar. But, the emotions i had doing that were the best I’ve ever had.

Can you go even beyond the once a month idea and so something, some little thing every single day in 2026 – and yes it’s ok if you miss days, this isn’t a streak thing. it’s to get your mind outside of your own self and your own world, trying to glimpse inside of another’s. Smile at someone, hold a door open, let someone turn in front of you, buy someone’s coffee behind you, send an email or a note to an old friend or acquaintance asking how they are. I have another friend who wrote me the other day telling me he’s developed a sarcoma in his thigh. This is a runner and a man who has the best sense of humor you could imagine. You’d never know he had this horrible cancer. Just as I’ve talked so much about people with the invisible disability – chronic pain, you may never know how much they are hurting – physically and emotionally. They feel alone and abandoned. a little note or text or even a call may make all the difference in the world.

how often can you be Santa in the new year?