Daily Gratitude: I don’t know that I would describe them as beautiful but I feel that the years I’ve struggled the most have been the most meaningful. And maybe even the most useful.

Why useful? They have forced me to endure things that I didn’t plan and to realize even a bit at a time that the universe knows better than I do. Ha ha. That’s a continual lesson for me.

I think that when I let go of trying to make things “better”, it slows the real good to come about. I’m struggling with something right now and interestingly I’m struggling with letting it go and just allowing it to be. You’d think I’d know by now. But I always have to dissect everything and find the reason. That’s sometimes a good quality but often it’s not.

Take some time and list out the years or times you’ve struggled and then write down what you learned during those times. I think you might be surprised. Is there another way you might have learned those lessons? Maybe but maybe not. Was it worth it?

Be grateful for all that’s happened to you. There is a master plan that’s greater than we can even imagine. You play a part even if you didn’t audition or want the part. It’s yours anyway. Let it unfold.

Daily Gratitude: How often do we spend lots of time and energy trying to figure out what’s going on with other people? Then ask how often we spend the same time and energy getting to know ourselves?

Why do we ignore that exploration? What is is we’re afraid to see?

We can’t really understand others until we know ourselves better. How we react to certain people and things? Once you know that, you can see how others’ reactions may mirror their past more than they mirror what’s going on right now in their life.

Wouldn’t that help you deal with the other person better? Or at least not overreact yourself if something seems out of line.

People hear what you say based not on what you meant to say, or what is going on in YOUR universe. They hear the words and interpret them based on their experience and what’s going on in THEIR life.

That’s why you may get weird responses to statements you make or questions you ask. So stop scratching your head and see if you can ascertain what’s happening or has happened.

If you understand what’s inside of you, it should help you not overreact to others. You can have confidence and become a better listener. First you have to listen to yourself. That’s why journaling is so valuable. You can have conversations with yourself and your emotions and try to figure things out on paper. No one else needs to know. But you can examine your life and see if this is a pattern in your past.

Study yourself in order to understand others.

Daily Gratitude: This is an important concept for almost all of us to grasp. It might explain some of our seeming overreactions to events or people.

Our demons resurface wherever we’re tired. But that’s also the same for other people and might help you figure out why someone does something. And it can help you forgive them when they do “dumb” things too. Just as you hope they can forgive you, too.

This is what happened to me at vol state in 2025. I was so tired and depleted that I forgot all my IFS work and training. All my old patterns and habits showed back up knocking at the door. And I let them in.

Be gentle work yourself and with others. Assess their physical condition before making any criticism or judgments (if you have to judge at all). Someone may be tired or may be physically ill or in pain.

Kindness in all we do is the way to approach this new year and all the people you meet along the way.