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Daily Gratitude

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Daily Gratitude: I think I heard this a long time ago but just read it again this week and it struck me like a power punch of truth.

Do you have any friends that are a bit “private”? Maybe they aren’t really averse to letting you know something about themselves. They just aren’t used to opening up spontaneously. So when you ask “how are you?” You know you’re going to get the usual response from them. “Fine thanks”

Why not ask specific questions. Something like “how is Jack doing in his new job? Are things any easier for him now?” Now the other person knows what you’re interested in finding out and can respond with a deeper answer.

This takes time. It even took me time to think of a more specific question as an example. But by taking that time I had to decide what I really wanted to know about Jack. Maybe I wanted to know if my friend and Jack were still fighting a lot like they were when Jack was unhappy in his job. Her answer to this question about Jack’s new job might afford her the opportunity to follow on with more info. And she doesn’t, her response and tone of voice might give me a clue as to whether I should probe deeper or just leave that subject alone for the time being.

When you buy something you really want to know more than “what does it cost?” But if you don’t know what matters, then you might end up with a “lemon”. I did. A long long long time ago I was at a car dealer and I saw this convertible that I wanted. All I asked was “how much?” And boy was I sorry. It was the absolute definition of a lemon. But i learned a lot from that experience.

It’s a bit of work but if you are a curious person, it’s well worth it. Figure out what you want to know and then come up with better questions that will help you get there.

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Daily Gratitude

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Daily Gratitude: Can you try to embrace this concept? It’s difficult I know but if we could practice looking at things that happen with this attitude, then maybe it could become a habit.

I think we all like predictability….until we don’t. I have become bored with my morning routine so guess what? The routine’s predictability has led to less effectiveness. I was just “doing” the things without “feeling” them. Sure they were probably doing some good but not much.

So I switched many to an evening routine. Boy is that hard. I just started this week and I’ll tell you I worry that I forgot something important (I post a few things every day like these daily gratitudes). But it will become easier. Of that I am certain.

What’s become so predictable in your life that it’s boring. Or maybe even distasteful now? Check it out and see how you can shake things up.

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Daily Hotline Message

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Conditioned responses and routines

A conditioned response is a learned response to a previously neutral stimulus that has been paired with an eliciting stimulus.

So what you’re probably asking? Well the “what” is that there may be things happening in your life that you’re not happy with. These may be conditioned responses and with a fair amount of effort – sometimes a lot of effort – you may be able to reverse them.

Here’s some examples in my life. The funniest one is that if I pick up a book to read in the morning and start to read, I will begin to yawn. This happens without fail. Maybe you’re thinking it’s becaue I’m tired in the morning. But that’s not it. I’ve been up and working at my morning routine long before I pick up a book. It’s that someone a few a years ago my brain associated yawning with a book. I can read online a nothing happens.

This is the breakdown:
There’s pairing. I started reading a book and I yawned at the same time.

Then there’s association. My brain associated a yawn with opening a book.

The conditioned response develops so that when my brain sees me open a book it thinks it’s time to yawn

Then when I’m walking on a certain route – one where i know the porta potties are as soon as I get to a certain point on that route, my bladder begins to send messages to my brain that “it has to go”. When I’m on another route – leaving under the exact same conditions like how much I drink and when I pee at home, I’m fine at the same distance because the porta potty on that route is not for another mile. It took me a while to realize this one but when I found that I was feeling fine all the way until about 1/2 mile from the potty and all of a sudden I really had to go.
So what does this have to do with routines?

I have been having chronic daily headaches for the past 5-6 weeks and I have associated most of it with my daily morning routine. There’s more to it though because it’s most often there when I wake up.
But i decided to change my morning routine and see what happened. It’s been less than a week so I can’t really tell about the effect on my headaches except that so far they have not occurred when I wake up. But what I have noticed is that I feel a sense of freedom and excitement now that I’ve changed up that routine. I do parts of it in the evening or throughout the day so I haven’t eliminated anything. I’ve just reordered my routine.
Take a look at your days and see if there are things you might be doing “just because”. You started doing them sometime but maybe they have become stagnant. It’s important for the things we do to be stimulating and exciting so analyze your activities and see if there’s any shaking up you can do. And maybe you’ll find some conditioned responses that you weren’t aware of either.