Daily Gratitude: You hear people say “just be happy” and you want to smack them. You know what, though, they are right. We can choose to be happy or unhappy. It’s how we judge things that contributes to that choice. If things look horrible (what is that determination based on? Usually it’s based on our past experience), we are much more likely to be unhappy….and to blame it on those “horrible” things. Someone else may come along and based on their past experience they may think that something is lovely and therefore they now feel happy – because of those lovely things. How can we change? First of all by recognizing that our judgments are, indeed, based on our past experiences and also recognizing that sometimes our recollections are biased. Secondly we can choose NOT to put much stock in the past, telling our brain that even though it may have felt unsafe in the past, you have changed, things have changed and you’re no longer as helpless as you may have been when “that lying” happened. This is not easy and it has to be practiced but you can feel safe again. Then we can ask ourselves whether we want to be happy or unhappy. That question may shock you for a minute because you’re so used to that choice being made for you (by your brain) but once you realize that it’s you that makes the choice, the more power you feel. If you tell yourself “I can choose to be happy right now!” and then add “I am completely safe”, the freedom you feel (especially the first time) will he overwhelming. Once again I recommend you start with something simple. Print out the questions and hang them around the house so you cd. Look st them frequently each day and see how your life and your happiness level change.