Daily Gratitude: Keep your new year going with this thought. You don’t have to do much – just show up. Once you do that, things will fall into place and you’ll figure out what to do next.

I believe this. Most of time it’s all I can do to just show up someplace. I work hard to get over the anxiety about all the limiting beliefs and thoughts I have. It’s like having a century’s worth of presidential debates in my head just to get my butt to the place I’m supposed to be.

I have gotten so much better at this in the last year or two so now I am a happy camper when I go someplace and don’t obsess over “to be or not to be (as in to be there or not to be there- ha ha)” or what will people think. You’d probably laugh if you knew how much I celebrate those wins. And all I had to do was just show up.

I need to do this with everything that comes up on my life. And you do too. When you come across a situation that creates this kind of fear, just break it down into getting to the “start line” so to speak.

If you still have trouble, remember me and laugh at seeing me in your mind debating whether to go some place or not.

Some people have the motto of “just do it”. For us it’s “just go” or “just show”.

Daily Gratitude: When someone asks if you have faith, what is your answer? I don’t think they mean “what religious affiliation do you have”. I think they are asking how strongly you believe.

Trying something without knowing the outcome takes courage – often more courage than you could have ever thought you had.

However, every day is kind of like this. You really don’t know what’s going to happen during the day. You have some idea but not exactly.

So take it a bit further and decide to do something else that’s new. It may help you overcome the “Willies” you might be feeling by asking one of two questions. Or maybe both.

“Whats a worse that can happen ?”
And
“So what?”

Making your way through these two pieces of diamond can show you how human you are. It will show you how “well” you can anticipate the worst. We had to do that to survive before we evolved. Now we don’t have to worry about all that. You just need to reassure your brain and the best way to reassure it is to discuss all those things and get yourself to laugh about them.

One of my favorite stories involves a “what will people think” scenario.
I was stationed here in San Antonio in the 80s and had to take a two week instructor course. Our final exam was to get up and present something. I was ready. Wearing my khakis and having practiced what I was going to say. Everything was fine….until I had a cup of coffee with my classmates that morning. Somehow the entire cup spilled all down my front. Now you can see why wearing my khakis mattered. There was no way to hide that. I had to stand up in front of everyone with a big coffee stain right where they all stared. It looked like I wet my pants..and then some.

I practiced the “so what” principle and then even used it as a funny opening story and everything worked out great.

So no matter what, remember your two life vest questions:

“What’s the worst that can happen?”
And
“So what?”

Then just do it knowing you will come out the other end alive and everything else is just a bonus.

Daily Gratitude: Before you start complaining about the “author” of this quote or worse yet, just dismiss it, pause and read it again. It doesn’t matter who said something. What matters is what’s said.

Ask questions. That’s the key to life. Finding out all you can about someone else. Make them feel loved and valuable but be sincerely interested. I think we often talk about ourselves because we don’t know the questions to ask to get a person to open up.

Think of something off the wall to ask. If I’m at a gathering I just want to ask another person if they are uncomfortable as I am and if not, why not. That will allow them to not feel alone if they are as shy as I am, or, it gives them an opportunity feel as if they are doing something good by reassuring me that (for instance) most people are as shy as I am and they are more concerned about what you think of them…. Then we both may laugh. But it’s a beginning for a deeper conversation.

I despise small talk and find it hard to remember details out of context. Like how many kids Sally and Joe have. But if they tell me about a disaster of a family Vol State vacation they’ve had, then it’s easier to remember the kids. That’s a good question to start things off too.

Figure out what you’re interested in in a person and create some questions that help you get the answers. Go into a meeting or gathering with an intention- even if it’s just a social or fun event. Then quiz yourself afterwards.

Guess what? If you ask enough unique questions to find out important stuff about someone else, you’re much more likely to be considered interesting yourself. See how that works ?