Terrie’s Tip – Instead of saying “Why is this happening TO me?” try saying “Why is this happening FOR me?” You’ll be amazed how changing just one word will rewire your brain and your attitude. It’s no longer “I’m a victim” but “Oh, the universe is giving me a gift! Maybe I should unwrap it”

Reframing is simple but again not always easy – especially when times seem tough. In all the reading I’ve done in the past 3 weeks (I’m so happy I’ve ‘consumed’ 18 books in 3 1/2 weeks – consumed means reading and listening), I learned that another way to reframe positively is to say “demands” instead of “stressful events/things”. Stress is a response to a demand. It’s not an event itself. Who cares? Because it means that you actually have control over what is going on with you. The demand is a benign thing that is not out to get you or hurt you or anything. It’s how you respond that will affect you. And you control how you respond. There are so many ways to help calm your nervous system which is what we’re really talking about here. Breathing techniques, expressive writing, awareness etc.. There are so many guides out there for you to look at.

When you reframe how you say things, that is a way of managing/controlling your response.

“Why is this happening TO me?” bemoans the events and all that is associated with it. You probably can’t really answer the question so why waste time and energy trying to find out. It will just make you feel worse.

“Why is this happening FOR me?” makes your brain excited and thinking it did actually receive a gift. It wants to know more and will investigate. Positive questions produce positive results. When you start to investigate the possible good that might come out of this “event”, you can actually get excited. I will tell you and this is one of the great benefits of age, everything really does happen for a reason and it always works out. It may not seem like it and we are such a world of instant gratification that we are not used to waiting for something to manifest. It’s a good thing we are not the universe’s gardeners. Nothing would ever bloom. You can help produce a better result by focusing on the good that could possibly come out of this. What lessons are you learning? What information are you getting from this that might help you in the future?

See how you can reframe other things in your life. Things really are happening FOR you!

Terrie

Terrie’s Tip – It’s time to take stock of all the habits that may be keeping you from enjoying your life more.

So so much of what we do is habit driven. Many of these are from childhood and we don’t alter them – kind of like the beliefs we talked about yesterday.

Quick and easy way to start:
Write down what you think are your primary habits and don’t forget to put your phone attachment down. I say primary habits because so much of what we do is a habit. To start with at least10 habits (preferably more) that govern how you live. Examples are “i get up and check my phone first thing in the morning.”
“I make my coffee in the Keurig every morning”
“I workout every day first thing in the a.m.”
“I make my husband’s lunch every morning”
“I make a post on Facebook and then browse my favorites”
“I clean the kitchen counter every night keeping it totally empty”
“I do the dishes just before bed to make sure the sink is empty and all the dishes are clean”
“I leave for work at 0600, get in the car, turn on Joe Blow’s podcast, and drive to work.”

There are many more that you can write down – just do it without judging.

Then take a look at them all and see how they serve your purpose in life and in your day,

James Clear’s book “Atomic Habits” is one of the best books I’ve read on habits.

Terrie