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Ancient Lesson- Process vs Outcome

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Week of 30 Jan 2022

I decided to call this series "Ancient" because I'm old and "Lessons" because it's what I learned and although I'd like to call it wisdom, who am I to judge how wise these musings are. The definition of wisdom is "knowledge that is gained by having many experiences in life." I am not a scholar but that's not really how i view wisdom. I view it as something that will be of use to others as they go through life. I have had a lot of experiences that have given me knowledge but I'm not sure how much they would help others.

But enough of the philosophical...let's get down to the meat of the this first lesson.

It's simple: Process over Outcome.

Pay attention to the outcome or as John Wooden said "Focus on the journey and the destination will take care of itself."

I learned this early on but not early enough. From the time i was four I knew i was going to be a doctor (God had told me so) and as a result, everything i ever did was focused on becoming a doctor. 

I eventually made it but on the day of graduation from medical school, i felt despondent and depressed. "Now what?" I thought and "is that all there is?"

You see, i had focused only on becoming a doctor, not on what i really was learning along the way. Even more importantly i never once thought about what i would do once i "became" a doctor. I was focused on the destination.

I have learned with all the races I've done to enjoy getting there and I don't' only mean all the long drives I've done but the training and getting ready and feeling excitement BEFORE getting there. Making sure you find joy in what you're doing on a daily basis and in training (thanks Scotty). Have fun, planningi your training, reviewing what's going well and what needs tweaks (remember there is no failure, there is only feedback but that's another whole post).

Enjoy everything about every day. Who did you meet? Who did you talk to? What did you feel good about? How were you of service today? What do you want to do better tomorrow? Don't just let the day rush by like water down the drain. Cherish each moment. Your kids, your family, your friends will all get older really quickly if we don't just stop to take it all in. 

Take some time to reflect on your life - and make no mistake about it, this is hard. Have you focused only on the destination but not enjoyed every day it took to get there? If you are honest, I bet you'll find several of those occasions. Now ask yourself what you can do to change that so that you enjoy every single moment of your life no matter where you end up.

Ponder this for the week and there will be more Ancient Lessons in the weeks to come
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What Good is a “Crappy” Day?

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Terrie’s tip – “Crappy” days actually offer more information and ability to learn than you realize. You just have to make a bit of an effort.

Today was a “crappy” day. No other way to put it. Now I’m talking about training days and my non-training time was beautiful and glorious because I am so alive and happy. But those 5 hours on the road – not so good. Thus, I will be talking about training days but as you can imagine I wouldn’t write something for just a small group of people. We’ll see how these principles apply in any aspect of your life.

First – You have to do what I just did in my introduction. You have to recognize that you’re using the term “crappy” (or whatever you use) to describe a specific set of circumstances that weren’t as great as you’d like. But in that recognition, know that there were other parts of the day that were good – even if you have to reach to find them, they are there.

Next – step back and tell yourself “this is just one day”. When it comes to training (as well as life) it all has to be put into perspective. Many parts of my training were good and tomorrow has just as good a chance of being good too. It is simply one small period of time in the grand scheme of things. Today does not predict tomorrow’s outcome nor does it mean all that hard work you put in didn’t mean anything. It will just stand by itself – unless you continue to dwell on it and catastrophize it into meaning the end of everything. Then, just as you predict, tomorrow will be horrible too – because your thoughts became reality.

Then, while you’re in the midst of this “day” – while out on the road in my example – ask yourself if you have any idea what this “down” is all about. That’s a good way to look at things objectively instead of just throwing your hands in the air and giving up. If there are different things you can try right then and there, go ahead and see what you can do. If not, store the ideas away in your mind and you can address them later. The primary point is not to get so focused on what’s seemingly wrong and then fall down that spiral staircase into the abyss. Stay present. You hear people talk about mindfulness all the time. Mindfulness doesn’t necessarily mean that things are always rosy. The point is to stay right here and now and now 2 1/2 weeks from now declaring that there is no way I can finish this race. If you have such a crystal ball, you should be out selling your prophecies instead of training on a long and quiet road anyway.

Make the decision on what to do. If you feel horrible physically for instance, maybe you should stop, head home or maybe even call someone. But, if you’re just dragging like I was today, decide to either rest for a bit or keep going. I did both and made it as far as I had planned to make it anyway. I varied my route a bit so I wasn’t as bored in order to see if that helped and it did. But the sun is the sun and when you can’t get out of it, you just have to suck it up.

Realize that your emotions are trying to sabotage you and tell your brain “thank you for your input. I see what you’re doing but be assured we’re safe and we will have a great day tomorrow. Just take it easy right now and don’t panic.” Yes, i know it sounds weird to talk to your brain but it really does work. And again it keeps you in the present.

When you make it home, sit down and evaluate what you think went wrong and how you can fix it. Spend a short period of time on this, always reminding yourself that it was just 5 hours and it doesn’t mean the world is coming to an end. Don’t continue to dwell on it all. Set a specific amount of time and then move on to things that make you happy.

“Crappy” days are just that – one day – or in my case, just 5 hours. And the rest of the time was terrific and will continue to be terrific!

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Where is Opportunity Hiding in Your Life?

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Terrie’s Tip – Take some time each day to look at all that happened but examine each thing closely to see what opportunity is hiding beneath the surface.

There are a lot of “self-help” discussions on opportunity and even though I used to just get “bored” when things are repeated over and over, this topic always pops up when it’s supposed to in my life.

Things happen in our lives for a reason even if we have no idea what that reason is and won’t for a long time. But the very special part of turning your thinking around is that when you search the events of your life, it’s better than hunting for gold – it’s definitely a treasure hunt.

If you just take an event with the initial reactions/emotions and don’t go any deeper we’ll never find the gifts that were put in front of us. For each event is a gift – whether it’s a good one or a bad one. It’s pretty easy to see the gifts when you interpret an event as good. But the bad ones….well, not so easy. It’s easier to just stay angry, sad, resentful or whatever and not moving forward.

But what if you decided that you wanted to see what treasure is deep within? Doesn’t that thought just get your excitement up? It does mine. What if you decided you were going to find the diamond – the opportunity – in each and every “negative” appearing thing that happens to you? Wouldn’t that be special – to know that there is an opportunity for you to find and explore? And if that opportunity could lead you to much greater happiness – wouldn’t that be worth the few minutes you’ve taken to just open your mind and investigate?

I have been guilty of not doing this for most of my life but I have been pretty good at doing it in reverse. What I mean by that is looking back and seeing how the things that happened to me that were not what I wanted at the time actually turned out best for me. I only wonder how wonderful it would have been to recognize the opportunities at the time.

But in the past year and then in the past few months I’ve been looking at things in a different light. Two examples come to mind but I’ll only give one here and save the other for another post.

It has to do with my flat tire this week. Who knew that one simple old flat tire could end up hogging 3 posts? LOL

But the opportunity that came from that was my personal growth. When I pulled over I knew I had AAA but didn’t want to have to deal with an unknown person. I wanted comfort – this was a subconscious feeling but as I look at it, it was there. So who could I call? Could I call? I mean after all it’s asking for help and most of you know how hard that is for me to do. But I was in a dilemma because my “go to” neighbor was gone I thought. So, without hesitation, I texted my other neighbors – people whom I adore but have never really asked for help. It was a brave moment for me. And as I found out he, too, was out of town, I was thinking of who else I could call. This is unheard of for me.

What was the opportunity buried in my flat tire? One was how calm I felt and I wanted to deal with everything in life like that. So, what do I need to do to get there? And that’s where the opportunity is – examining what made me calm and how to continue that. And, what made me brave enough to ask people for help? The work I have been doing with IFS and examining my limitations and what parts need to be heard (IFS is “parts” therapy). You don’t need to understand this but just know that it’s something I’ve been involved in for the past 8 months or more and heavily for 6 months. This event showed me what could be for me if I continue doing the same and more. I would just have thought of this as another inconvenience had I not taken the time to examine the event looking for the opportunities.

There is an opportunity to grow in every single event we experience. Our only job is to look for it so go get your metal detectors and find the treasure deep within.