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Daily Gratitude

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Daily Gratitude: I wish more people were aware that they have the power of choice. You can choose to be affected by all that goes on around you or you can choose not to. Do you want to be a puppet in the wind, constantly blown here or there- at the mercy of others? I am pretty sure you’d say no.

Whatever happened to you is over and done. It’s in the past. Why hold on to it? If it was something that you learned from, you can hold on and on to the lesson while letting go of the event and even the memory of it if it brings up negative feelings.

Have you ever asked yourself why you hold on to things that weren’t so good? Do you let those things define you and if so, why? Is this a leftover from your childhood? Is
What happened reminiscent of what you went through when the influential people in your life told you you were this or that. “You’re a bad person if you do x,y,z” “See, I told you you were a failure” “you’re no good at anything. Just a food good for nothing” and so on.

If that happened to you you have to work hard to overcome all of that. The good news, though, is that it is possible. And it’s fascinating if you engage in IFS (Internal Family Systems).

Always remember that you are you and you are not what happened to you

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Daily Hotline Message

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Take some time to look inside yourself

Here’s a quote from Epictetus. It’s long and i’ll repeat it but it’s important

“Whatever happens to you, remember to look inside yourself and see what capacity you have to enable you to deal with it.

If hard work lies in store for you, you’ll find endurance; if you are insulted, you’ll find patience.

If you get in the habit of responding this way, you won’t get swept away by your impressions of things.  “

Let me say it again:

“Whatever happens to you, remember to look inside yourself and see what capacity you have to enable you to deal with it.

If hard work lies in store for you, you’ll find endurance; if you are insulted, you’ll find patience.

If you get in the habit of responding this way, you won’t get swept away by your impressions of things.  “

i think we spend too much time looking to the outside world to find out what happened and who to blame.

I also feel you’re never going to find it or them. You may think you do but in order to find out what’s going on, you need to look inside yourself.

This is just another variation of control the controllables but this quote is also telling you that you do have many more talents – or capacities – than you think you do. 

As he said, if you have a lot of hard work to do, once you take the time to search within, you will find the endurance,  same with being insulted. Look inside and patience will become apparent.

Don’t get me wrong though, this isn’t going to happen overnight. It’s going to take perseverance to look for these capacities or qualities. They may be covered by many layers of dirt and garbage – all the stuff you’ve picked up since your chilhood. 

Just know that you can find whatever you need to take care of what’s affecting you. Concentrate only on the parts you can do something about.

List some of the circumstances or events happening in your life that you have to deal with right now.

Make a list of the qualities or characteristics you feel you need to deal with those things right now. Think of what virtues would be helpful too 

Search in your past to find examples of when you’ve come up against something similar. 

What was your reaction then? 

Was it useful, not useful?

Could it be more refined?

Or maybe back then you couldn’t dig out the right quality at that time. 

Now ask what has changed inside of you since then?

Maybe there’s been some excavation projections in the interim and it will be easier to find  what you’re looking for. 

Take some time and go deep within if you find yourself having trouble locating, for instance, the endurance. You have at least some endurance and like everything else in life, you have to work to build that muscle.

Keeping yourself focused on what you can control (meaning yourself) will make the process simpler.

Everything you need is within you. Never forget that. 

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Daily Gratitude

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Daily Gratitude: Boy can I attest to this. My life used to be so very narrow. I was afraid of everything that involved interacting with people (outside of work). It was funny how I would become a different person when I walked through the doors of the ER, almost like Clark Kent (for those who know who he is). Not that I would become Superman but that I would strip off my cape and become a different type of person.

It took me over 70 years to shed some of those fears and to develop my courage (again i attribute that to IFS). As more and more courage came through the mucky goo concealing it for so long, my life really did expand. I began to be more comfortable around people. It was and continues to be a process but I am here to tell you that it’s worth every second of it.

One reason I write so much and do my daily call is that I hope I can help others change their lives sooner than 70 years. They deserve to enjoy everything and everyone much much earlier.

Make a commitment to yourself that you will make the journey into your inner self so you can find out where your stumbling blocks, your swamps and quicksand are. And as you come to each, do whatever it takes to clean them off so your courage can rise to the surface.