Daily Gratitude: What thoughts go through your mind all day long? Do you ever catalogue them to see what patterns they fall into? Are they “what if” or “if only” thoughts, or are they “wow how fortunate I am”, “I’m so grateful”, “I want the best for everyone else” thoughts? Are you happy? Is there any area of your life that isn’t bringing you happiness and joy? Take a look at it and see if it fits in some sort of pattern throughout your life? If so, it is probably due to thought patterns you learned when you were younger. I was taught “you can’t trust anyone”. So you can imagine how that has affected my relationships in my life. I have had to be diligent and work hard to overcome that. And it does take work. It’s easy to fall back into old habits and ways of thinking. The important part is to recognize the pattern, then pay attention to your thoughts and actions as soon as they appear in your brain. Then step back and ask yourself “why am I thinking this? Where is it coming from? Is it really true? Do I want to believe this or is it a mindless activity without thought?” Answering these questions will help you because they have made you pause and because now you know you have to make a decision. It’s your choice as to whether you want to continue to buy into the same old manner of thinking. Do you want to continue been unhappy (in this category) or do you want to try something new?

Daily Gratitude: Although this isn’t the “traditional” way that people define success, I actually think it’s the best way. Many people are “successful” in ventures that they don’t really enjoy. Others aren’t happy with what they have and always think they “should” do better. Many don’t even like what they do. The key to this and it’s something I still have to work on is to do your assessments (or judgments if you will although I am trying to stay away from that word) on and for yourself without that “thief of joy” – comparison. If you throw “compared to what others do or have done” into your definition of success, you’re doomed. All you see when you’re in the process of comparing is what’s on the outside of that other person – the externals as some of the Stoics call them. You can see great wealth, a big house, many cars, etc. but you can’t see what’s inside. You don’t know if they are happy or feel loved. So stop worrying about it and stop comparing. Always remember to “control the controllable” – work on what you can control. Work to attain your own personal happiness doing whatever it is that brings you joy. Who cares what your neighbor “appears” to have or be. Be true to yourself and you will be a success. Just follow the rule in this quote.

Daily Gratitude: I’ve discovered something magical. However, it’s also very strange. In working with the folks who are making their transition, I’m finding myself mesmerized by one special thing about each of them. One man’s simple phrase (“why me?”) created surprise and passion in me and ensured that I will never forget him. Why? Because as I’ve written, his “why me” was not the “poor me” that you generally expect but the “why do I deserve all these blessings?” Another man’s smile has me in love with him in a way I’ve never felt before. It’s as if that smile is saying “you are a part of me and i, of you”. That is the greatest gift of communion that anyone could ever receive or ask for. And now there’s a woman who looks so deeply into my eyes that I feel as if I’m back in New York City in the subway, staring down the darkened tracks. I can see the light of the train coming my way, inviting me to peer more deeply into what’s there in the darkness. How can you refuse such an invitation? I can’t. And I feel honored that each of these people is sharing something very special with me at the end of their lives. We often tend to look at the external effects of dying – the immense weight loss and loss of strength and stamina. But these are just external “clothes” and if we only see and focus on that, we’ll miss so much. The essence of that person is still with us to be shared with the world. Instead of the losses, we need to take a moment to cherish the gains that come with death. There is a freedom of sorts and if you let them, these people still have so much to give. Rejoice and receive what they are offering.