Today’s excerpt is why I wrote the book – enjoy and get a sneak pic inside my brain and my heart (both are pretty scary…lol):

I could have just done the race, finished, driven home and been happy going about my business until next year. But that is not my WHY. My WHY is to touch as many people as I can and help them in any way possible?

I think that just being out there some years, I’ve helped inspire others to continue on. One man told me at the finish line that I was the reason he was still there and had finished. He’d had some terrible blister problems early on and they were hobbling him. But he said he heard I was still out here, and he just knew he had to keep going. Given his strength and training and the length of the race, it was a viable possibility for him to finish. Ten days was long enough for his blisters to heal to a point where he could run again. If you are down and feel you just can’t or don’t want to go on, then simply hang in there and wait a while. Find something to clutch to give you hope. I like to think that my being able to continue on given my age and my “everyday Joe” status kept him motivated. I don’t want to think that it was “I can’t let an old lady keep going while I quit. How would I ever live that down?” But even if that was the real deep down reason he made it to the end, I’m happy because something about what I was doing kept him going. I touched his life.

Ray K is one of my all-time heroes. In 2018, I was headed down the mountain toward mile 295 after a tremendous thunderstorm. He pulled up next to me in the middle of the night and told me how proud he was to know me and how I was doing as well as, and sometimes better than, a great number of people on the course. I don’t know if he realizes it or not, but that was probably the most meaningful thing that anyone has ever said to me. And that’s what I want to be for others.

• I’m old.

• I’m a woman

• I’m short

• I’m slow

• I’m not an elite runner

• I’m always last

• But I’m always out there digging as deep as I can to make it to the finish!

I want to let younger people know that it’s not about the miles. We’ve all heard the expression that it’s the journey that matters and not the destination. I am living proof of that. It’s taken me a long time to get here, and the road hasn’t always been plowed or paved in front of me. I’ve had heartaches and disappointments, but I will tell everyone that each let down has turned into something great in my life. I talk about them at various places in the book, but here’s a few.

• I always wanted to be a doctor, but I got rejected at the one medical school I applied to my senior year. I became suicidal.

• I grew up more, developed epilepsy, which was a significant change as the symptoms developed while I was in medical school. I found Osteopathy, which is following the path toward treating the entire person, not just a body part. That was the best thing that ever happened to me.

• I joined the Navy to go to Vietnam, but no one told me they wouldn’t send women to the front lines.

• Joining the Navy changed the direction of my life and it has been an amazing journey.

• I wanted to be a neurosurgeon until I developed epilepsy and there went any hopes of being a surgeon.

• I am so grateful for this because I believe that my life is so much more fulfilling not being tied to the operating room and still being able to influence a large number of people.

• I landed a job in San Antonio in the 80s and hated it within a few short weeks because it was so boring. I wanted a transfer, but of course they wouldn’t let me.

• I was in the city that turned my world around. I just didn’t know it. Had I left, I don’t know what my life would have become. That was a major turning point in my life.

• A relationship ended while I was in San Antonio. It devastated me.

• Neither my friend nor I (we were both in the same capsized love boat) wanted to be alone so we’d meet on Wednesday nights. One night she wanted to go some place that sounded pretty “weird” to me, but since I didn’t want to be alone, I went. There I found my future mentor in metaphysics and, for the first time, I discovered that there was a life outside of medicine and the military.

There are more examples and I probably listed too many, but I want you to know that you should never give up. What’s right around that corner could be the answer to your prayers even if you don’t know it; and even if it may not seem like it when you turn the corner.

I have wanted to be a doctor since I was four. That’s all I focused on every day (well, that and listening to the New York Yankees in the summer). When I eventually graduated from medical school, it was one of the saddest days of my life. It was like the song “Is That All There Is.” I truly felt that. I wondered “now what”? What would give me a reason to get up in the morning?

It’s true I had wanted to BE a doctor all that time. And now that I WAS a doctor, I hadn’t planned for anything beyond graduation day. It was a sinking feeling that must have been similar to when the stock market crashed in 1929. You must plan for the next step. Know what you want to do after you’ve accomplished this goal.

My days of treating patients are long over. In fact, in the second half of my career, I didn’t directly treat them, but I certainly influenced their lives significantly. I was part of the DOD disability system, trying to help those who could no longer serve their country. This was as rewarding as the first half, but in so many other ways. I could also influence those I worked with who were new to the field. That, in turn, helped them make better decisions for the Soldiers and Sailors that came before them. I could have considered this to be a poor career choice and lamented it and bad mouthed the organization or the people who put me there, etc. Instead, it was another phenomenal move that happened to me without my interfering hands.

My “’detailer” (the person who made our assignments) placed me in this job. I had no clue what the heck it was until I reported there. But again, heading down an unplowed path, I ended up with the best view of the world I could have asked for. It was such a positive experience that I spent 27 years in the military disability system.

I know you’ll let me know what you think, and I pray I have the courage to accept the bad with the good. That is always hard for an author

Stoic people who just can’t bring themselves to ask for help can still receive help, even if they don’t know how. I have been shy all my life and always felt I didn’t deserve to be helped. My German/British background led to the “If you can’t achieve it on your own, then you don’t deserve it. Don’t be asking for handouts.” – handouts in my family equated to help.

I also always thought that people were too busy to help me and that I wasn’t worth their attention. As I did my attempted trek across the USA, I found out that people love to help. It makes them feel good. That was a big shock to me. It also changed my life. Doing this race brought the point home even more. Everywhere I turned there were people wanting to help me in whatever way they could; even if it was just cheering me on or handing me a bottle of water.

Most normal people cannot fathom how important a single bottle of water can be to someone. Those who have experienced natural disasters certainly can understand but, if you haven’t been there, you may not really comprehend that a bottle of water can forge a forever bond between two people.

Be aware that you don’t have to verbalize the need for help. If you’re lonely or in need of something the Universe knows it and, if you’re open, it will bring you what you need. Hasn’t that ever happened to you? You are at the end of a rope in something, and your mind is saying “if only…” The next thing you know, something you need appears in front of you. Now this may not be exactly what you’re asking for but it will be the right thing for you.

Asking for help opens yourself up and makes you vulnerable. Vulnerability is hard but it’s essential for a fulfilled life. And contrary to the thought of many hard-core ultra-runners and others, it is NOT a synonym for weakness.

For me, just the sight of another person close by or even hearing someone say hi as they passed me by was help. Why? Because it reconnected me to the world of the living. I was, for a few more minutes or hours, not on an abandoned island trying to survive on my own. I was part of humanity once again. There is an amazing connection between human contact and a sense of belonging. We all yearn to belong and often are so desperate (as in the middle of this race), we’ll hang on to someone or something as our major lifeline. That lifeline might change as the hours or days go by, but we are always looking for one – something to hold on to, to grasp with all our might.

I learned to be vulnerable and although I felt initially that it did mean I was weak, that belief soon changed. I felt wonderful when people showed up in my life asking if I needed help. I felt so welcome and as if I was really a part of the human race. It was amazing. Help is good for you and good for the person rendering the help! If you want to give something to someone else, let them help you and maybe even ask them for it.

Read on to see some other people who became such a big part of my life – not just at the race but forever in my life. Miles come and miles go but people never leave you. How much do you remember about mile 280 for example? But how much do you remember about “x” person who drove by, pulled over and asked if you were okay? I remember them no matter how short the interaction was. Often, with my speed (or lack thereof) I spent more time in a certain mile than with a person, but I guarantee I remember the interaction much more than the mile.

Life Lesson – Asking for and receiving help is healthy! Try it and see how your emotional well-being changes for the better. See how wonderful you feel. As they say, “Try it, you’ll like it.”