Daily Gratitude: Before you start complaining about the “author” of this quote or worse yet, just dismiss it, pause and read it again. It doesn’t matter who said something. What matters is what’s said.

Ask questions. That’s the key to life. Finding out all you can about someone else. Make them feel loved and valuable but be sincerely interested. I think we often talk about ourselves because we don’t know the questions to ask to get a person to open up.

Think of something off the wall to ask. If I’m at a gathering I just want to ask another person if they are uncomfortable as I am and if not, why not. That will allow them to not feel alone if they are as shy as I am, or, it gives them an opportunity feel as if they are doing something good by reassuring me that (for instance) most people are as shy as I am and they are more concerned about what you think of them…. Then we both may laugh. But it’s a beginning for a deeper conversation.

I despise small talk and find it hard to remember details out of context. Like how many kids Sally and Joe have. But if they tell me about a disaster of a family Vol State vacation they’ve had, then it’s easier to remember the kids. That’s a good question to start things off too.

Figure out what you’re interested in in a person and create some questions that help you get the answers. Go into a meeting or gathering with an intention- even if it’s just a social or fun event. Then quiz yourself afterwards.

Guess what? If you ask enough unique questions to find out important stuff about someone else, you’re much more likely to be considered interesting yourself. See how that works ?

Daily Gratitude: When the whole world seems to come rushing in or at you, remember this quote.

I am sure you know people who amaze you with their strength and ability to tolerate hard times.

You are no different. Those others have just unlocked the door to their inner strength.

You have the same door. But it may be painted a color similar to the rest of your walls so you can’t see it. Or maybe you can see it but it’s just locked up tighter than Ft Knox. Or perhaps it’s hidden behind a bunch of clutter because you’re almost to hoarder status with your emotions and life events. You’ve crammed everything you can against the walls of your inner being so you can’t even see the door.

But believe me. It’s there. You have that door.

Once you believe that, you can set about trying to find it and then open it. After it’s open, you’ll see a majestic palace where there’s piles of strength lined up like gold – yours to use any time you want.

Why not go door hunting now? Then you’ll be ready when things aren’t quite the way you’d like them to be.

Daily Gratitude: This may seem a strange post to make when the country is so chaotic.

But I think that’s when we need to talk about this the most.

Remember to control the controllables- and feeling happy now is one of the things we can control – even if we think it’s dependent on external things.

It’s not.

I hear this a lot – “I’ll be happy WHEN…..” – you can fill in the blanks.

It could be “when I lose weight or when I weigh x number of pounds”; or, “when I have a better job (I ask then what does ‘better’ mean to you); or, when I’m rich (same question- what does ‘rich’ mean to you?); or, when I’m retired; or, when I’m married.

You get the picture.

This is sad but it took me so many years to realize it.

What if those things never happen?

Does that mean you’ll never be happy?

That’s pretty discouraging to think about. It shouldn’t take much to be happy.

I think that doing a journey run like vol state helps you understand what we really need in life and that all the other stuff is just fluff.

Just a few things sustain us for 10 days. Food and drink, sleep and surprisingly kindness.

It’s the kindness that everyone we met showered us with that really sustained us.

It was just a word or a wave.

It didn’t even have to be something tangible like water or a snack.

Just the love they showed could lift your spirits and get you through the next few miles.

So, if you find yourself falling into the “when I” trap, look around you and ask “am I happy right now?”

Maybe even prompt yourself “am I in pain? Am I comfortable? Am I thirsty or hungry? Can I get in out of the elements if I need to? Do I have someone who loves me? Do I have someone I love (and it is any kind of love, not necessarily romantic)? Do I have unfulfilled needs? If so, what can I do to solve these issues?”

You probably are happy now but just aren’t paying attention to it.

What if you’re not here tomorrow?

Do you want to leave this earth simply wanting something else or do you want to leave appreciating all you have NOW?