Daily Gratitude: “Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”

Boy was Marcus Aurelius a wise man. Whenever I’ve been brave enough to do this, it’s taken the wind out of my sails quickly. And that’s a good thing.

I get lots of practice with it in my neighborhood which is a “cut through” between two major roads. There are stop signs but so many people can’t see them (ha) or can’t read and think they say “slow”. And of course there’s the stoplights at each end of the road. The green light doesn’t stay green very long. So if someone is on their phone during the red light, they will probably realize it’s turned green in time for them to make it through while so many of the rest of the cars don’t.

Instead of blowing my top now I acknowledge the frustration and then think “when I have I done something that has affected others (whether it’s in traffic or otherwise)?” That helps to dissolve the frustration.

The reason it’s important to acknowledge the frustration (or whatever emotion you’re experiencing) is that emotions aren’t really controllable. They happen. What we can and should control is our response- our feelings.

Try Marcus’ question next time you start to criticize someone or something. See how it works.

Daily Gratitude: “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face'”

Take a few minutes right now. And I mean right now. Write down your fears. Yes, it may be a long list but do it anyway. No one’s going to see it but you so list them all, even the weirdo ones.

Now list the things you avoid doing because of these fears. This may take a bit more thinking but it’s important.

Look at the list of things you avoid doing and ask yourself how important each of them is to you. You can use a scale of 1-10 or just general categories like very important, medium, not important, etc. I think the more items you have on this list, the finer the scale should be (like 1-10 for example).

Now circle the ones that are important or are above 6 or 7 on your scale (I’m just listing arbitrary values. You’ll see what’s important the longer you gaze at the list).

Look deeply at the ones you’ve circled. List them on a separate page. Next to each put the fear or fears that are keeping you from doing it.

Once you’re done with the lists you can see more objectively what your fears are keeping you from. Now you have to decide which is more powerful – the desire to do something or the thing keeping you from doing it (aka your fear). This is the emotional part.

Sit with these feelings and imagine what you’d feel like if you could take your eraser and wipe out the fears. What would be keeping you from doing that which you desire. Sure there may now be money in the way or lack of time. But if you really want to do something and you wipe away your fears, all the other things are solvable with some creativity. It’s getting past the barrier door, the fears, that are the most essential.

Daily Gratitude: “Adversity introduces a man to himself.”

I don’t know what you think about this but I’ll tell you that it’s been quite applicable in my life.

When your back is against the wall, you have to dig deep to find a way past the adversity. And you have to keep trying to move forward. You can’t quit and revert. That will destroy your life more than anything else.

There is always a way with adversity. It may be something totally unexpected but that’s ok. And if you think it’s not going to go well for you, keep going. Often you don’t see the benefits of what happens and the “solution” you find for a long time. When I was rejected at medical school I didn’t see any “solution” or good thing from what happened. It took many years and yet when I did see it, I was so glad I hadn’t quit.

You will find out what you are made of when you encounter adversity. And you will probably surprise yourself with the strength you find.

This is the best way to find out what you are made of. Once you are past the adversity, you need it to take time to assess and review what went on. What did you do right? What could you have done better? What shouldn’t you have done? Go deep into what happened , what you thought, how you acted and what came from each of your thoughts and actions.

This after action report is crucial in all significant occurrences in your life. It’s where you’ll learn your strengths as well as areas you might want to work on. Be honest and thorough in your analysis. Then figure out what you can do to continue to improve. Figure out a plan. Then practice (I know I say that all the time) and later assess it again.

You can handle much more than you think you can.