Daily Gratitude: Have you ever noticed this about yourself? You spend lots of time wondering and worrying about what other people either do or will think about you – about what you wear, what you say, how your hair is styled or cut, how much you weigh, how you talk, what accent you have, what kind of car you drive, what gym you belong to, etc. Why? Have you ever asked yourself that? What does it matter what others think of these mundane aspects of life? If we have to worry about what others think, we should be worried about what they think of our character. But even then, you are subject to their quick impressions and judgments without having the full context behind what it means to you. These “others” probably have no clue to how you were brought up and what value system was instilled in you so how can they really judge you – your thoughts or your reasons for doing something. And you don’t know anything about most of the people you’re interacting with. They may be smiling on the outside but crying on the inside. People with chronic illness, especially the invisible illnesses, have to do this all the time. They have to suffer in silence so that they can “put on a happy face” so that another person won’t feel uncomfortable around them. How messed up is that? But we all do it. Why not take that time you’re worrying about other people’s opinions and figure out how you are treating others and what virtues you want to show the world, regardless of what others think. Can you go a day or more without thinking about that? Let us know.

The art of living

Daily Gratitude: What a wise saying. Too bad it’s not that easy to live. It would be great though if we could just accept things as they appear, realize that whatever it is, it’s meant to help us grow, and rejoice in that lesson. If we adopt “everything always works out for me”, then it’s easier to realize that whatever it is that’s happening really is what’s best. It may not be so obvious right away but I have learned that eventually it will show itself to have been the best thing. I still marvel at the fact that although I wanted to be a neurosurgeon from a very early age, the universe knew much sooner than I did that that wasn’t where I was meant to be. But since I, like most humans, was a control freak and of course “I knew what was best for me”, it had to take significant action to keep me from pursuing what would have been an unhappy career. So I developed epilepsy. I couldn’t be a neurosurgeon (or any kind of surgeon) so I had to find something else to do. The funnier part is that it took many years and attempts at many different things to finally land where I could do the most good. And boy was that a far cry from neurosurgery. Ha ha. If we’d just remind ourselves that we don’t know everything and we don’t have all the answers and put our faith in the universe, we’re liable to make it to our true destiny a lot sooner. Think about how important control is in your life. Can you let go of some of it? If not, why not? Look back over your life and see how your holding on to control has influenced it – either in a good way or a not so good way. Can you change that?

Daily Gratitude: “Invisible disability” is a real thing. So many millions (yes millions) of people have chronic pain or chronic illness that shows absolutely NO outward effect. “So what?” You ask. Well, the “what” is that these people are suffering more than you can imagine and their suffering is worsened by the fact that others either don’t recognize it or don’t believe it. They feel (and in many ways are) ALONE. it seems that we humans “require” visual evidence that something exists before we believe that it does exist. You’ve heard the expression “you’ll see it when you believe it”. That is a matter of faith. Most people operate under “I’ll believe it when I see it” and they treat the conditions that others say they have the same way – if you’re not bleeding, throwing up or have bones sticking out, then there’s nothing wrong with you. How sad is it that we don’t believe others when they say they are having pain. And doesn’t matter what kind of pain it is. It can be an emotional pain from depression or grieving for example or physical pain. Pain is pain and it hurts. Why are we so “immune” to accepting it in others? Have you ever examined that in yourself? Why do we have to have “proof” before we can extend kindness and compassion? Why do we demand that they “put on a happy face” and not complain? What is complaining anyway? If someone says “I don’t feel well”, why is that considered a complaint? Why do we demand they just “suck it up”? Who are we to be the judge and jury of whether or not another person is suffering? Aren’t we here to help others? Isn’t it our job to offer support to someone having trouble? How much effort does it take to just listen to someone and say “i believe you and cannot imagine what it must be like”? That’s not hard so why don’t we do more of that? Take some time to ask yourself these questions. Then take some time to think of people you know (and even ask them) and see if you can determine how they are really feeling. Once you ask them, you may be surprised.