Daily Gratitude: Take a moment to think about this. How often have we made some problem worse by constantly thinking about it, or trying to “figure it out”, or wonder why it would happen to us, etc? As they say “people in glass houses”… i do this way too often. Instead of saying “ok this is the problem. These are the resources I have. This is what I can do to solve this problem.”, i sit around and worry about it, therefore not accomplishing one single thing and the adversity is (to no one’s surprise) still right there in front of me. Why? Because I haven’t thought about it objectively nor have I taken any action. How many times have you felt poorly or had something physically bother you yet you haven’t called for a doctor’s appointment. You’ve just continued on spending a good part of your day (and night) conjuring up all sorts of scenarios with your vivid imagination. Then what happens? Usually you start to feel worse. And you certainly don’t get a lot done in your life while you’re worrying. I think we don’t realize the resources we have within our grasp and that’s another reason we don’t solve our problems in a timely manner. It would help to take an internal inventory of our resources starting with your resilience. Another thing that would help is the practice of asking others for help. I bet you’re cringing when you read that. But it is an important skill that we aren’t taught. In fact, we’re taught the opposite. But just think about how good you feel when you help others. Wouldn’t it make sense that it’s nice to allow others that same joy and good feeling by helping you? Think of all they could learn by helping you through the adversity. Adversity in your life? Face it and work on it don’t brood about it. Ps I know there are things that happen that really suck and do so for a long time. This is not a Pollyanna approach. I just want to encourage you to spend your energy on the solution not the worry.

Daily Gratitude: It’s so important that we find the courage to “step out” when exciting or new things come our way. I finally learned this and regret that I lacked that brave spark within for so many decades. I guess, though, I didn’t really lack it – it was just buried by all the baggage of my childhood that took me forever to discard. Kind of like a hoarder who eventually has their house cleaned out only to find $10,000 somewhere at the bottom of the pile. It had been there all the time but no one, especially not the hoarder, knew it. This is an excellent reason to always be in the process of decluttering and getting rid of all that’s not needed – the physical AND mental clutter. There are tons of articles about how to declutter your house and your belongings but how many articles do you see about going through all the crap in your mind. It shouldn’t be hard to visualize your mind like a teenage boy’s closet. Everything he owns (except his electronics of course) is crammed into that closet. Clean and dirty mixed together. Fresh and smelly on the floor in one pile. And then there’s the shelf or shelves. What’s loaded onto them? What did the closet even look like long before? When was the last time you took inventory of your mind? Listing your habits, your beliefs, your loves, your relationships, and if you’re into IFS, your parts? I will bet the answer for most of you is never. Why not start now. You may think you know what you want to keep and discard but until you list them out (take that inventory), you’ll never really know. And worse yet, without a list it’s extremely difficult, if not impossible, to find the interconnections. What thought or belief is related to another and what thought or belief is connected to a habit? It’s those interconnections that can do you in. This takes quite a bit of effort and I think that’s why most people don’t do it. But the benefits are phenomenal if you take inventory and then examine it….and then finally take action to revise what it is you see that needs fixing or changing.

Daily Gratitude: It’s so hard to remember this when things aren’t going well. And that’s exactly when we need to remember it. It helps to remember a time in the past when it seemed like there was no hope. You were so down you didn’t think you could ever climb out of that hole. Then try to recall a year from that time and see what your life was like then and how much that “thing” mattered then. Did it seem to have as much significance? Did whatever pain it caused still persist? In most cases I would imagine not. Things probably got better but in some cases something else not so good took its place. The point is that the importance of that initial thing changed. We who don’t really like change might do well to remember all those “bad” times when we wanted things to change so we could get out of that “bad” situation. Why do we want change only when we decide it’s worthwhile? Isn’t that pretty presumptuous of us? Sometimes I have to laugh at how powerful we think we are. I know I’ve written about this endlessly but it was an important lesson. When I had the post Shingles nerve pain, I so wanted it to change. It was agony. But 13 months later I saw a purpose to it (i would have been just as happy to learn that purpose sooner, of course). Because of the medicine they put me on for it, I ended up discovering my underlying kidney disease which otherwise could have progressed a lot before diagnosis. That entire 13 months was filled with lessons and pain but that’s what it took to wake me up and it’s as if I awoke a different person. Now that didn’t happen overnight but it did happen. I have rambled and talked about more than one point in this post and I apologize. It’s important for us to recognize that each struggle we endure is like another workout at the gym. Because I’ve been working out steadily I can now do more things around the house in my daily life that were becoming difficult. So the struggle of those workouts have enabled me to have the strength to overcome other difficulties. That’s a simple example but there are many more. Try to be grateful for whatever you’re going through and ask for guidance to discover what it is you’re supposed to be learning.