Daily Gratitude: It is, unfortunately, human nature to make snap judgments. Why do I say “unfortunately”? Because all too often we stop there. This trait is or was a survival mechanism. It really didn’t matter whether it was a lion or a tiger barreling down at you. What mattered was that some massive and dangerous animal was threatening your life. And, you needed to get out of the way. Nowadays the majority of our judgments continue to be made this way even though there is no life threatening situation. Your brain doesn’t know that. So what do we do? We can accept that and be grateful we have such a mechanism. BUT THEN we have a responsibility to slow down, take a deep breath and examine everything that went into that judgment. You’re not in a hurry or shouldn’t be. You should be challenging your brain’s first impression. And if you don’t understand something (or someone), then you have two jobs ahead of you. First you should discard that initial impression. What do you need it for anyway? It’s not a lion or tiger so just ignore it. Then take the time to analyze and ask questions so that you can understand the situation better. Let’s take something easy. You see a father (or any man) apparently grabbing his son roughly by the arm. Your first impression might be that this is an abusive man/situation. But if you took time to understand it, it might look like this. This is a very hyperactive little boy who runs all over the place, darting here and there. Dan saw him headed straight for the middle of the street and he grabbed the boy to keep him from running into traffic. He wasn’t abusive at all. He was protective. Let’s say you see someone at the office that you don’t know very well. You walk by and want to be friendly but you see a scowl on her face. “Whoa” you say to yourself “I’m not going to talk to that woman. She must be a real __ (you can fill in the blank with what your probable word would be)”. Later, at the water cooler (they don’t even have those anymore I guess- showing my age), you find out that she just had major surgery and had to come back to work early because she needed the money. Your coworkers, who know her pretty well, tell you she’s in a lot of pain and is a wonderful friend and worker. Now you understand the situation better and you can and should alter your original assessment. Take your time. It’s important that your judgments be based on more than just your first impression. After all, I bet there are times when you wouldn’t want someone to judge you based on how you look or what expression is on your face?

Daily Gratitude: How egotistical of us to think that we are the be all and end all. That’s what we’re saying when we say “oh yeah. I was on the road to success but life got in the way”. What we need to realize is that life goes on all around us no matter what. It’s the nature of the universe. We are just tiny pawns upon life’s chess board. We have to stop thinking of ourselves as so important. Our aim should be to dance in sync with the universe, moving with it as it does. Going with the flow as some say. Just realize that there are things and powers out there much, much bigger than us or our wants and desires. We should just be grateful to be able to play on the big baseball diamond in this wonderful universe. Think of the awe of a little boy or girl going to the majestic Yankee Stadium for the first time. They are in wonder and are soaking up as much as possible. Then think of the mother or father who’s only interest is finding their seats, knowing where the kid is all the time, worrying about where the bathrooms are, how long is this game going to be; where the car is parked and how long it’s going to take to get out of the parking lot and oh yeah don’t forget “what’s for dinner?” One person (the child) is simply living in the moment, feeling joyous in the pure and perfect experience while the parent is existing in the future and in the “what ifs” and as such is unable to enjoy the stadium or the game. Which one do you want to be like? Of course the adult has more responsibility but what good does worrying about where you parked or where the bathroom is going to do you? Maybe you can think about what’s for dinner since that is within your control but most of the other stuff is not at all in your control. Trim away all that extra baggage and enjoy being put where you are right now and recognize it as a gift.

Daily Gratitude: I can tell you from personal experience that this is so true. Way too often we “decide” what needs to happen if something is to go as it should. Yet, who died and named us king (or queen). We do not know how everything is supposed to align in the universe. Indeed, if we believe in a universal power – no matter what name you give it – we have to laugh at ourselves thinking we know how everything is supposed to fit together; how all the pieces of the puzzle should drop into place. Most of the time we can’t even keep our own lives in good working order. “I have faith” we say. But then we set about deciding exactly how everything should work and how everyone should act. Faith is actually letting go. Now, I’m not proclaiming to be able to do this as you can tell from recent posts. But at least I do understand my hypocrisy, not that that will do me any good. I think my failure to let go (have faith) is an even worse “sin” because I’ve seen this quote work perfectly in my life. I’m sure I told you that I wanted to be a neurosurgeon for about the same time as i was told I was going to be a doctor (but that’s another story). Then when I was 21 I developed epilepsy. As you can imagine, there went any hopes of becoming a neurosurgeon or any kind of surgeon. I then took various detours in my career, trying this road, then that road and finally ending up in a field that was home for me. I finished 26 years on that one path after floundering around trying other things. And you know what? I’m glad I got epilepsy. Why? 1) because it, along with being fat and being a smoker, helped me understand my patients better. 2) this was a place where I could help thousands more than I could if I had gone into neurosurgery. It was also a much better fit for my personality. In every way it was the best. Had I maintained control, I would have lost out on this opportunity and perhaps been unhappy all my life. Who knows. But what I do know is that I ended up in a place where I could do good and the people I met as I traveled this path impacted my life in phenomenal ways. So, even though it’s hard, try to just have true faith and know that the universe really does have your back. Let the universe be the quarterback and you be the receiver. You’ll be happy you did.