Daily Gratitude: I talk about this a lot but it’s never enough it seems. There are some things we need a constant reminder about. It does you no good to say affirmations and have positive and useful mantras IF you’re not acting in a way that’s consistent with those affirmations and mantras. You can say all day long that you’re the luckiest person in the world while at the same time you’re cursing out the traffic in front of and around you. Or repeatedly asking “why me?” Can you see how one negates the other. These affirmations are not only meant to get you to believe in something but they are meant to spur you to action that is consistent with their meaning. You can’t use an affirmation of “I am at a healthy weight” and then spend your evenings snacking. It’s important that you realize this and become aware of what you’re doing but not so you can criticize yourself but so that you can stop one or the other event – preferably stopping the counter action. Maybe when you make an affirmation you could take time to determine what actions are consistent with achieving this goal. It’s also helpful to recognize that all the conflicting thoughts and feelings are parts (of course you knew I’d bring IFS into this). If you understand that, then you can recognize that in many ways, you’re like a school principal trying to herd your students into the auditorium so you can instruct them on the do’s and don’ts of the coming year. Some will abide and others will rebel. You have to get to know those that are rebelling and figure out what’s happened to them to make them be like that. Then you can help them become happier and more in line. It’s a process but even if you don’t know “how to do” IFS, you’ll have come so far just by being self-aware. This is also where journaling comes in. People who are opposed to journaling sometimes don’t realize the value of putting thoughts out on paper – the connection of the brainwaves to the fingers to the pen. I know I can identify my parts (issues) so much better as I write them down. The goal of IFS, just like the goal of making affirmations and plans is to get things into alignment just like your tires. Once you do that, your ride is so much smoother.
