Daily Gratitude: How often do we NOT do something because we’re concerned about (afraid of) what other people will think? All too often, I think. When you get to my age, you’d think I’d realize that no matter what you say or do, some people are going to criticize or complain. Does that make them right and you wrong? Why do we even think of it that way instead of “am I right and they’re wrong?” Why do we question ourselves more than we question another person, even those we barely know? Have you ever thought about that? “Why am I putting so much stock in what this person I just met thinks?” What happens when you ask yourself that? Why do you keep questioning yourself, especially without any specific evidence proving you’re wrong? If you must analyze things, examine why you decided x, y, or z. What is the basis of your opinion. If you’re darn sure that your facts match up with all the evidence then it shouldn’t matter what others say. Stop questioning yourself based solely on another’s thoughts and ideas. When you decide something, make sure your facts are solid and your conclusion is as well and then refuse to engage in argument unless you consider that other person a mentor and an expert. But any Joe Blow off the street is probably not a mentor or an expert. You don’t need someone else’s approval to have your idea. Stick with it …. Or revise it if you have GOOD reason to do so. Those other people are most likely not as smart as you are.

Daily Gratitude: It is surprising how often we forget that we have a relationship with ourselves. We spend so much time worrying about how we relate to others and what others think of us that we have no time to work on what’s going on inside of us. I found this absence of a close relationship with myself to be particularly detrimental during my recent vol state race. Even though the first few days I was ahead of the cutoff (Oprah), I felt I was failing and doing poorly. What I was doing was comparing this year’s results to last years. I know better than to compare what I do with how anyone else does. That took a long time to learn but I’m much better at it now. But I never even thought about what would happen if I compared myself TO myself. It was a disaster but it was more of a subtle and subconscious disaster. I was doing it without even realizing it. I may (probably) have done this all my life but it was never as pronounced as during this race. When I compared myself to myself I also made the mistake of using last year’s results. Had I compared this year’s performance to the other years, I might not have felt so hopeless. But last year was unique and I did well. So using that for comparison was almost like picking an outlier to compare to. Take time to evaluate yourself and your expectations. Are you thinking about how you used to be or things you used to do? That may be fine for nostalgia and memory lane but if you’re trying to be in the present moment, stop it right now. You aren’t the same you you were even 6 months ago – physiologically, mentally or emotionally so there is no comparison. What would you tell a friend or a child if you saw them doing the same thing? Once you figure that out, go find a mirror and repeat it to yourself. Then you will be talking to you and you can work on that relationship right there in the mirror!

Daily Gratitude: If you’re a cautious person, you’ve probably already “stepped back” (so to speak) from this idea. “Not me” you might be saying as you begin to rattle off reasons this quote certainly doesn’t apply to you! But that’s all they are – reasons. And in this instance that’s just a polite way of saying excuses. No matter what’s happened in your past, you do have the power to take your life in a new direction. You just have to decide what direction that is and why you want to go there. Sometimes, though, you’re lucky and the universe is the one who decides for you. It may be tired of waiting for you to make the move or make up your mind and it’s going to take the bull by the horns. I’ve had that happen to (actually it’s “for”) me. Here’s an example of how it might work and how you just need to eliminate as much resistance as possible. I am an author (that sounds so pretentious to write) and I like one woman’s work a lot. She has a newsletter. I opened one od them one day and because she put this item in the first paragraph, I saw it. It was something about death and San Antonio. I followed the link and became interested in what she had been talking about. I began to donate to this organization and this established some sort of relationship. Then I learned more and decided to take the death doula class. I took that and began to volunteer at the home for the dying the class was associated with. Oh and I had been assigned a mentor for the class and was intrigued by her and her humor. We developed a friendship. I did vol state. These people whom I have really only known since January followed my progress during the race. They were so supportive they gave me a little celebratory party. At the party one woman asked about my writing. I blurted out (which is not like me) that we could be accountability partners and get together and brainstorm our ideas so we could better support each other. See how that came totally full circle. It started with writing and is now going to flourish even more in the writing aspect. It’s uncanny to me and I wouldn’t believe or even recognize it if I didn’t know how the universe works. It’s almost as if the death doula stuff was just a vehicle. If you just drop all the resistance and obstinance you have, and let things flow, so many wondrous events will show up in your life.