Daily Gratitude: This is an important reminder to take a pause between an event, your reaction and your response.

How many times have you heard someone say “I didn’t mean it” AFTER someone has already been hurt and is crying their eyes out. They say it as if that will excuse their hurtful action- just because they didn’t mean it.

It doesn’t.

We have to realize that there is a difference between impact and intent.

We have to practice pausing. If we don’t, that anger we feel (which may be justifiable) may lead to us doing something we regret. Do enough “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean it” chants and your relationships (of all sorts) go to pot.

I was someone who was totally ruled by my Dedender part whose only MO was to lash out in anger when it felt threatened, i can vouch for all of this. But there was another aspect to consider. Until I got to know many of my parts (yes it’s more IFS-internal family systems), I needed the Defender’s anger. Without it there was a chance some one might actually get close to me and that was more terrifying than losing relationships. That’s why it’s called an internal family.

Can you list your reactions and how you respond to different situations? Are your responses separated by a pause? What is the impact of your responses. Take stock of what’s going on in your everyday life and see if there are ways you can change.

Daily Gratitude: This is an affirmation you can use especially in this chaotic world. Hopefully it will help to ground you and keep you centered. Remember to control the controllables. What is it about right now that is in your control? Take a long look at that. Once you find them, you can take action.

“So what?” You may be thinking. “I’m just one small drop in this massive ocean.”

That’s true but so is everyone. So were all the people who ever conquered something or made startling discoveries and inventions. But they didn’t sit around and worry about things they couldn’t change. They got excited about whatever “little” thing they were working on which may or may not have ended up being a little thing.

Is there something you can work on right now that will change how you feel or how you look at something.

What journey are you on. You are on one, you know even if you don’t realize or recognize it. You’re walking down some path even when it just seems as if you’re plowing through weeds and you can’t see if the way you’re going is going to lead you anywhere.

Does it feel right? How does it set in your heart? You ARE ON a path. Trust your journey and trust the universe to get you where you need to go.

Daily Gratitude: You can have all the ability in the world but not do anything productive with it. That’s a choice.

You can have that ability yet ignore it and not live a fulfilled life. That’s a choice.

Or. You can have very little ability, yet work your tail off for something you believe in. That’s a choice.

What are your choices? What choices have you made in your past? Are you happy with them? Would you change anything?

Let’s not sit around and compare and complain that “so and so has more talent than I do and that’s why a they’re more successful than I am. “. I imagine that if you were to dig into their “talent”, you’d find that they chose to work hard and put that work above all else. What can you learn from that person’s work ethic – their choices.

Next time you start to complain and compare, stop yourself and ask yourself what choices you’ve made that got you to this point AND then what choices can you make right now to help you achieve the same thing.