Message 311

Another lesson in manifesting 

This is kind of a funny message that will combine metaphysics and IFS.

Remember last week or the week before when I talked about letting go? You know, the message about the reverse marshmallow test that no one but a few understood. Ha ha.

I was very enthusiastic about it and I spent a lot of time trying to find a good way to convey it. In fact I was so excited that I did a really poor job – hey but at least I had fun

Now also remember that when I was talking about manifesting my house I said one necessary component was excitment and enthusiasm

We become what we think. I firmly believe that and once again it has come true in my life.

Last Friday I ended up getting rid of (aka letting go) of two cars I had. One was the SuV I had when I got my van. I’d had it for 20 years. The other, though, was one I’ve had since 1991. The kicker with that one however was that it’s been sitting in my garage for about 19 years – another very long story.

Last week a friend told me her daughter’s very old car was dead and she had no way to get to campus. So I offered to give them my SUV. They aren’t fools so they said yes. They came to get it on Friday

I also told my neighbor that when I got the garage cleaned out he could have my convertible. I was sure he was going to use it for scrap metal or something. No! On Friday he amazingly got it up and running again.

So. There I stand watching my children as it were being led out of the garage and sent off to what I thought was college but instead they have ended up in the peace corps somewhere and I’ll never see them again – except that I see the convertible every day in my neighbors driveway.

So what does this have to do with IFS? A whole lot. Needless to say my parts have been in an uproar. I didn’t anticipate this at all. Letting go is not something that these protectors think is a good idea. Remember they mostly all developed when they were very young and they have not grown chronologically as I have. Think about any kids you’ve known. How many of them want to share their toys with other kids. This experience is just like a kid’s party where no one wants to share but the adult came in the room and moved all the toys around. I don’t have time to tell you how I am handling it but if you’re interested I’ll talk about it on another call

The moral of this story is to be careful what you wish for!

message 310

One of the most important sentences you’ll ever hear.

“Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction.”

Let me say this again

“Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction.”

This applies to ALL our problems, including chronic pain (and also any kind of pain).

Why? What are we going to talk about then?

The second question is the easiest to answer – what are we going to talk about?

We should always be talking about either the good things that have happened to us or the good things that are going to happen. That’s a wonderful way to send your desires out into the universe. The universe will then deliver them back.

That statement also begins to answer the first question – why shouldn’t we talk about our problems?

Because we send them out into the universe and then the universe delivers them back to you. The universe doesn’t know the difference between good and bad nor does it know what’s in the past or the present or the future. That’s why your gratitude list can often contain thanks for things you want but don’t yet have. This is what happened with my manifestation of my house that I talked about yesterday.

Regarding chronic pain this same idea applies. If you talk about the pain, the universe thinks you want more pain and it delivers.

But there’s another concept that applies to chronic pain. The more you talk about your pain and how much it hurts and how it’s not fair and why me, the more danger your brain thinks you’re in. When your brain thinks there’s danger, it stays in the fight or flight, hypervigilant mode and those established pain circuits continue to fire. There’s no chance to create a sense of safety and new circuits.

You’ve heard me talk many times about the importance of conveying safety to your brain in order to calm the nervous system. There’s little chance of improvement if that doesn’t occur.

Every time you talk about your pain or disability, your brain goes on high alert and there’s just the opposite of safety then.

Of course you have to answer your medical providers’ questions but that’s it. Any “support groups” should ne meticulously checked to see how much the members talk about the pain and its interference with their lives. They are really not support. It would be neat if someone created support groups that focused on getting people to focus on something good, no matter how little.

This morning I was feeling a bit down as I was driving to an appointment and then I actually said out loud “what are you doing, Terrie? Everything is terrific. You have more than you need and there’s such beauty in your life. Why don’t you think about that.” So I did and it worked. I ended up having a diamond day and I hope you do too