Daily Gratitude

Daily Gratitude: There’s so much going on inside of us that we might even be frightened if we knew how much.

That’s where IFS comes in. It is truly an entire family system within you. There’s all sorts of typical family interactions as well – spats, sulking, rejoicing, taking care of one another, love, anger, sadness, grief, you name it.

We all acknowledge that we have memories so why can’t we accept that we have “tiny personalities” within that may even be containers for most of those memories.

In the past week alone I’ve made major changes in my perspective on people and ideas and things in my life. I’m 77 years old so this is amazing that I can up thoughts and beliefs I’ve held for so long. But it works.

Every time you say “a part of me….”, you are acknowledging one of those tiny personalities.

This inside family is where most of your battles are fought. My parts were frequently at “war” with one another, just like two toddlers or worse yet, two teenagers. They both want the same thing. In this teenage example they most likely want autonomy just as physical teens do. They just have different ways of getting what they want.

The battles within are the hardest fought. Learn more about your parts and you’ll learn that you are not stuck in particular beliefs or thought patterns. You can change!

That is the most freeing experience in your life.

Daily Hotline Message

Message 333

Can you relate to any of these holiday traps….and reaction?

This is from Becoming Minimalist and although I am the farthest thing from minimalist, I could identify with most, if not all, these traps and reactions. So I thought I’d share them with you.

This is from Becoming Minimalist

When it comes to the holiday season, most of us spend this time reacting to what happens to us rather than intentionally planning for what we want.

These reactions tend to come in four distinct holiday flavors:
You react to the spending trap by buying gifts you can’t afford because everyone else is spending big, putting purchases on the credit card with a vague plan to “figure it out later.”

You react to the gift trap by scrambling to find the perfect present for everyone on your ever-growing list, stressing out about whether it’s enough, whether they’ll like it, and whether you’ll be judged for it.

You react to the time trap by saying yes to every invitation, every event, every tradition, because you don’t want to disappoint anyone, even though you’re disappointing yourself by missing the quiet moments that actually matter.

You react to the decor trap by pulling out every box from the attic because that’s what you’ve always done, spending hours decorating spaces you don’t even use, feeling obligated to maintain (or add to) a display that exhausts you instead of delights you.

But when you plan ahead for the holidays instead of reacting to expectations, everything changes.
And the best time to plan? Right now—before the chaos begins.

Daily Gratitude

Daily Gratitude: Most of our “personal” issues are rooted in the past. They are the product of our upbringing and influence from so many people and groups (parents, siblings, friends, religious leaders, school teachers, media, music and theater even. We’ve been brainwashed galore as children and although that feels rather terrifying, it’s a necessity of sorts because we are totally clueless and defenseless as babies and children.

What happens, though, is that we never take time to examine those things that are crammed into our heads. We never make any choices after that. It’s just “the way it is”.

IFS (Internal Family Systems) is pretty much all about taking the past out of the present. Our parts are stuck at the age they are “born” (when they develop) and they act that age and perform the role they did way back then.

Have you ever said “I did such and such and it was so out of character for me. I just don’t know what happened.” That is the protector(s) talking and behaving.

Even if you don’t subscribe to IFS theory and practice, it’s imperative for growth that you examine your beliefs. How many do you still really belief. Remember that a belief is just a thought you keep thinking. It is NOT the gospel and does not come from above. It’s a thought that has been ingrained in you all those years ago most likely.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a library of beliefs so that you can pick, choose, and discard? Like a 7-11 you can just go into your “belief convenience store” and see what works for you today.

It’s not really that simple and I’m not making fun of the process. I’m just using the lighthearted spirit to illustrate that you can change your beliefs. It takes work but you’ll be surprised….and happy. It will feel so good to know you’re making your own choices.